Brothers in Christ, often is the number of times you have listened with rapt attention to my sermons on the godless state of Oregon. I have tried my best to keep all of you informed of the latest depraved developments in the Mexico of Washington state. Now, even a godless mormoon like
Glenn Beck has realized that Oregon is a state filled to the brim with queers, wetbacks, hippies and lezbeans.
And don't you just know that they've all got their panties in a wad over their capitol city be called out for what it is: Satan's Playground!
Quote:
Glenn Beck Names Portland the Worst City in America
Tragic news coming out of Glenn Beck's mouth this week (I know, I didn't realize he was still legally allowed to open his mouth either). Portland, Oregon is his No. 1 city to "avoid like the plague."
We beat out Seattle (No. 3) and San Francisco (No. 2), those hellish dens of sin, because we are, according to a study from the Public Religion Research Institute, the major metro area with the highest number of religiously unaffiliated residents. And, I just want to say, great work to us, guys! We beat even San Francisco, known hotbed of nontraditional marriage and year-round sweater weather (proof of God's displeasure) by 10 percent!
While Beck notes that there are plenty of reasons that Portland is going to "meltdown" — we're among the most "progressive," we're "probably" a sanctuary city — it's our inability to affiliate ourselves with an organized (Christ-based) religion that makes us the No. 1 place "you do not want to live anywhere around as things get worse and worse."
Sadly, the video ends before Beck can get too deep into what he means by "things" and "worse and worse" but I'm assuming he's talking about the Burger Week lines and the fact that Portland traffic has increased by 6 percent since last year.
Portland, I guess this is on us now. Let's all affiliate ourselves with a Christian religion so Beck feels safe moving his family here whenever the strip mall he lives in eventually runs out of water. I hear there's a Catholic church in Laurelhurst somewhere with a gay trans woman for a priest, where everyone defines God for themselves and Mondays are for meditation and yoga and Thursdays are vegan dinners for the homeless. That should work, right?
|
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)