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Jesus' eternal love Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-27-2015, 03:32 PM

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Originally Posted by True Disciple View Post
Why do you think there is no mention of sex prior to the Fall of Man?
Because there were no people to create Adam and Eve via sex. Therefore God created them through other means. This is a ridiculous question to ask.


Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
1 Corinthians 11:12 - For as the woman [is] of the man, even so [is] the man also by the woman; but all things of God.
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Bible Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 10-27-2015, 09:50 PM

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Originally Posted by SavedbyChrist View Post
Because there were no people to create Adam and Eve via sex. Therefore God created them through other means. This is a ridiculous question to ask.
Sweetie, I know that as a Catholic you're practically alergic to the Bible, but Adam and Eve lived (and therefore theoretically could have had sex) before the Fall. Yet, they began to "do it" only after the Fall.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-25-2016, 05:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
Sorry to be so fresh and blunt but I was deep in prayer and this came to me:

Women take note. If you ever feel pleasure while being intimate it is SATAN or his DEMONS causing the sensations!

Don't give into it. Don't let the pleasure sweep you away. You don't want to go to HELL for that do you?


It isn't demons or satan it's the nerves and bodily sensations in your intimate area, that cause it, its only natural during intimate conditions, to feel that way.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-25-2016, 05:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Milkshakecrusader View Post
It isn't demons or satan it's the nerves and bodily sensations in your intimate area, that cause it, its only natural during intimate conditions, to feel that way.
So it's an addiction? Well why don't we go hand out heroin to the kindergartners then?

"Come on kids, step right up and get your fix. It's just stimulation of the nerves and bodily senses. Perfectly natural. Darwin and Obama did it, so it's good for you!"

This is whats wrong with America! This is why we need the Bible and President Elect Donald Trump, you sick pervert!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 11-25-2016, 06:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkshakecrusader View Post
It isn't demons or satan it's the nerves and bodily sensations in your intimate area, that cause it, its only natural during intimate conditions, to feel that way.
It's only natural to choke on your vomit and die when you drink and use drugs so much you can't wake up even when your breathing is stopped. By your logic, you'd like our kids to "enjoy" that, too.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-02-2016, 01:14 AM

Isn't arsenic natural?
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-03-2016, 09:16 PM

I used to have orgasms before I became a True Christian ™. I experienced powerful, deep, shuddering waves of sensation pulsing from the core of my being before spreading out to every nerve in my body. Once, I had eight orgasms within the space of a couple of hours.

Now, I know that I was deceived, even as Eve once was. Now, when I pray, I feel something that sweeps from my head down through my chest and out to my hands where I can almost feel as though Jesus wound's are my own. I think of this as an orgasm of the mind, but perhaps this is the Holy Spirit spreading God's love through me. It is important to note that this sensation never continues below my waist.


I have noticed that it happens most easily if I stay awake praying intensely all night long. Such is the grace of God when one forgoes the weakness of the flesh to focus on Him.


Sincerely Yours,
Handmaiden


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-10-2016, 06:37 PM

As long as it is a married couple having sex for the purpose of procreation is it still wrong if the woman orgasmed and got pleasure from the act?
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-10-2016, 06:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngirl97 View Post
As long as it is a married couple having sex for the purpose of procreation is it still wrong if the woman orgasmed and got pleasure from the act?
From the OP:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
...If you ever feel pleasure while being intimate it is SATAN or his DEMONS causing the sensations!....

I'd guess it all depends on the meaning of the word "ever" on your planet.


/


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-10-2016, 07:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngirl97 View Post
As long as it is a married couple having sex for the purpose of procreation is it still wrong if the woman orgasmed and got pleasure from the act?
I don't know how any decent lady could get pleasure from Satan tickling her naughty box. It seems to me a most violating act. I feel triggered just thinking about it. I feel deep in my soul that the Lord of Darkness is trying to spiritually rape me right now just for having thought of such a thing, and I rebuke him in the name of !


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-10-2016, 07:58 PM

I have little knowledge on such things so its good to hear the opinions of others
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-10-2016, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngirl97 View Post
I have little knowledge on such things so its good to hear the opinions of others
I've read your posts and wonder if you're a little preoccupied with certain topics? If you've associated with Bible deniers in the past, Methodists for example or Zoroastrians or others of that type, perhaps their obsessions have rubbed off on you a little. An introductory post would be the ideal place to tell us about your history and how much you love Jesus.
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Cool Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-11-2016, 11:36 PM

G_d wanted us to be fruitful and multiply. He also loved us so much that He made the act of sexual intercourse not only practical, but quite pleasurable. I know in my college days many a fine young thing thanked me for the multiple waves of orgasmic pleasure I caused.


You are denying the gift of our Creator if you refuse to accept His creation - and the act of sex is one thing He created, not the serpent.


Come to the current century any day now, Landover.


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-12-2016, 06:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
G_d wanted us to be fruitful and multiply. He also loved us so much that He made the act of sexual intercourse not only practical, but quite pleasurable. I know in my college days many a fine young thing thanked me for the multiple waves of orgasmic pleasure I caused.


You are denying the gift of our Creator if you refuse to accept His creation - and the act of sex is one thing He created, not the serpent.


Come to the current century any day now, Landover.
Are you familiar with God's commandments? Have you read Genesis recently? Or ever? I have. I'll make this in the form of a scroll for you and keep the numbers low:



1 God saw that Adam should not be alone & brought along numerous animals which Adam rejected Genesis 2:18-20
· · or are you suggesting that Adam was copulating with aardvarks or something?


2 God anæsthetised Adam, removed a rib, made a woman, no mention of connubial activity so far Genesis 2:21-23
· · and I wouldn't bother with any trick questions involving verse 24


3 Satan turns up Genesis 3:2-4
· · perhaps you were recalling this episode when you made your prurient remarks?


4 Adam and an as yet unnamed woman get the pervs Genesis 3:7
· · at which point you're probably thinking how ineffective aprons would be for the purpose


5 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived Genesis 4:1
· · there would seem to be less evidence supporting your position than the contrary




.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-13-2016, 10:16 AM

Well duh, of course Satan gives women orgasm. He's clearly a better ***revolting associations between Jesus Christ and fornicatory acts removed by moderator*** than God and Jesus since he must clearly take into consideration the feelings of his partner, whoever they may be.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-13-2016, 05:00 PM

i believe that the reason that only colored people can please a woman is that they are sent from the devil himself. Thats why us whiteys got small penuses am i Right. AMEN.
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 12-13-2016, 05:01 PM

Apple juice.

My babysitter gives me apple juice -.-
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 03-16-2017, 03:16 AM

Multiple women who have had orgasms can confirm!
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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 03-16-2017, 12:27 PM

Thanks to Landover Baptist, I now know that it was Satan providing all the powerful, pulsing orgasms of the past.

Before, I thought that it was my. . . umm. . . shower nozzle.


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Default Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!! - 03-16-2017, 04:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Thanks to Landover Baptist, I now know that it was Satan providing all the powerful, pulsing orgasms of the past.

Before, I thought that it was my. . . umm. . . shower nozzle.


Hygienically Yours,
Handmaiden

Sweet Handmaiden,


May the protection of our Lord Jesus cover your womanly parts, preventing you from unseemly pleasures that do nothing to exalt and glorify God. The unnecessary and violent physical experience of female orgasm is to be shunned and we should teach young women of it as a part of their normal upbringing. All Christian ladies must know of the dangers this sensation can cause - including separation from the saving grace of our Lord.


Like you, I fell victim to the Moen shower head, which is extremely tempting when you place it on "Pulse" and turn it to level 9. Never do this while sitting in the tub with candles lit and the lights out! Never slowly let the water cascade in circles or you will soon find yourself losing the thoughts that our God prefers (as enumerated in Philippians 4:8). And NEVER alternate the temperature of the water slightly every few minutes. If you aren't certain of what to avoid, I can send you a video outlining these warnings if you'd like.


I hope my suggestions have saved you from hellfire. God is so good to us. I look forward to praising Him with you in Glory after the second coming.


Your loving friend,
NRL


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