Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page Introducing post!
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-27-2013, 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sam Woo View Post

Maybe I make donation to church? You know, a little something to sweeten the wheels of progress!
I'm sure we could work something out. You people hate queers as much as we do, so there's that.



Have your interpreter call our team of joo lawyers in the morning and we'll work out the drop donation details.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-27-2013, 05:59 AM

Do you know how the Chinese decide what name to give their children?

They throw a cooking pot down some stairs.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-27-2013, 08:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'm sure we could work something out. You people hate queers as much as we do, so there's that.



Have your interpreter call our team of joo lawyers in the morning and we'll work out the drop donation details.
OK buddy, now you talk my language! You good guy Pastor Ezekiel! You tell me where to send donation!

Hey, you need household help? I can get you maid. You need nanny to watch your kid? I get!
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-28-2013, 12:30 AM

OK, I got a problem. Somebody come to my door today to talk about Jesus. Him say salvation is gift you can't earn. Him say Jesus pay for it already and give it to everybody free of charge!

This can't be good thing! I raised Buddhist and Confucian. You know what Confucious name mean? Confucious = Kung Fu Tzu. Kung Fu mean hard work!

Buddha say you have to earn merit! Work hard to improve yourself!

I worry this Christianity make everybody lazy. No good if you all just lay around and let Jesus do work for you! You get lazy and soft like my nephew Jimmy! Him no damn good!
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-28-2013, 10:16 AM

Being a Christian is very hard work, Mr. Woo. I don't know if you've ever been persecuted, but let me tell you, it's exhausting.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Alterboy's Avatar
Alterboy Alterboy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 206
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: In the fold of Saved Souls.
Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Alterboy has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-28-2013, 11:32 AM

Mister Woo, the path of a True Christian is narrow, long and rocky. It is riddled with temptation and obstacles.
We have to live a life in accordance to the Bible in a world that is ruled by Satan.
It isn't easy. Only some of us make it look easy like Pastor Zeke.


I Samuel 20:4
"Then said Jonathan unto David, Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee."
This is not a reference of a homosexual relationship but a friendship of depth and platonic commitment! Why must liiebrals always make everything sound so DIRTY!?
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
JustGotSaved's Avatar
JustGotSaved JustGotSaved is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Punched the most queers Tin Tither Pro-Life True Republican One Year/1000 posts Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
JustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJustGotSaved has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-28-2013, 01:26 PM

Mr Woo.

Maybe you help me.
Hoo is General Tso? Me arways wonder. Why he arways make chicken so spicy?

Him some commie like chairman Mao?

Raughing Out Roud.

---
Oh, i think i'll stop talking jap now. Just trying to make you feel welcome. Was kinda fun for a bit there--maybe i'll do it the rest of the day around the Mission i work in. It'll be funny. "Whos that Jap-speaking freak?" the homeless bums will all say. RoR!


Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-28-2013, 10:08 PM

That pretty funny, JustGotSaved! You funny guy! I not Japanese though. Japanese and Chinese very different. We HATE Japs. Hate them because they think they better than everybody.

Also we hate them because of Rape of Nanking.

You hear about that?

Bunch of Japanese soldiers come to China and all of a suddenly, all our women start acting like whores!

Very embarrassing, very shameful for China.
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican

 
Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-29-2013, 05:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sam Woo View Post
That pretty funny, JustGotSaved! You funny guy! I not Japanese though. Japanese and Chinese very different. We HATE Japs. Hate them because they think they better than everybody.

Also we hate them because of Rape of Nanking.

You hear about that?

Bunch of Japanese soldiers come to China and all of a suddenly, all our women start acting like whores!

Very embarrassing, very shameful for China.
Wow, so the Japanese come over and all of a sudden the women want to be whores, as opposed to staying with their men who need to eat rhino horn and tiger penis to get it up.

Huh, I wonder how that happened.

As for Jap or Chink, I can't tell them apart. Other than the chinks deep fry everything and the Japs don't cook things at all.


Drama queen
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-29-2013, 08:28 AM

Chink is very bad word! You call me Chinese, OK? You can tell Chinese from Japs because Chinese always working hard (except my nephew Jimmy), but Japs just like to watch porno cartoon all day and then go out and rape little girls.
Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-29-2013, 08:43 AM

Hey Woo, I have a question for you. I ordered Singapore Rice Noodles in one of your countrymen's restaurants while on a trip to Des Moines recently. I found out that the damn dish has curry in it. When did you chinks start borrowing cuisine from the dot heads?


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 03-29-2013, 08:52 AM

Curry? That no good! Specially at my age! You know what happen if I eat curry? Bad thing happen!
Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
Mr. Sam Woo's Avatar
Mr. Sam Woo Mr. Sam Woo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
Died in a car accident, forgot to change his car tyres
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 51
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Mr. Sam Woo is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-01-2013, 07:05 AM

Pastor Zeke, I have question. I want to get all benefit of Platinum Tither, but it cost too much. What if I set up automatic debit at Gold Tithe price? Authomatic, you get your money every month, guarantee. I do that, you give me Platinum membership, OK?
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-01-2013, 03:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sam Woo View Post
Pastor Zeke, I have question. I want to get all benefit of Platinum Tither, but it cost too much. What if I set up automatic debit at Gold Tithe price? Authomatic, you get your money every month, guarantee. I do that, you give me Platinum membership, OK?
You cannot fool God! (Proverbs 15:3, Acts 1:24)


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-02-2013, 04:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sam Woo View Post
Pastor Zeke, I have question. I want to get all benefit of Platinum Tither, but it cost too much. What if I set up automatic debit at Gold Tithe price? Authomatic, you get your money every month, guarantee. I do that, you give me Platinum membership, OK?
Brother Cranky is right. Trying to jew God out of His just Tithing is a serious sin.

Quote:
Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
MilitantImbecile's Avatar
MilitantImbecile MilitantImbecile is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Cherry-picker Furry

 
Posts: 95
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: bowing down to a statue of a fat jap
MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-02-2013, 04:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sam Woo View Post
OK, I got a problem. Somebody come to my door today to talk about Jesus. Him say salvation is gift you can't earn. Him say Jesus pay for it already and give it to everybody free of charge!

This can't be good thing! I raised Buddhist and Confucian. You know what Confucious name mean? Confucious = Kung Fu Tzu. Kung Fu mean hard work!

Buddha say you have to earn merit! Work hard to improve yourself!

I worry this Christianity make everybody lazy. No good if you all just lay around and let Jesus do work for you! You get lazy and soft like my nephew Jimmy! Him no damn good!
Let me guess, you're originally from Hong Kong, right?

Have you looked at the Diamond Sutra lately? Earning merit is no merit because there is no merit to be earned.
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Nurse Clampett's Avatar
Nurse Clampett Nurse Clampett is offline
Jesus's Favorite Nurse
Forum Member

True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Bronze Tither Best Pie Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian True Scientist™ Jailed for JESUS

 
Posts: 974
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Landover Basement
Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.Nurse Clampett has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-02-2013, 04:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MilitantModerate View Post

Have you looked at the Diamond Sutra lately? Earning merit is no merit because there is no merit to be earned.
Must you always sound like a depressing fortune cookie?
Try quoting the Godly KJV for a change.


Luke 5:31
And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick
Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
MilitantImbecile's Avatar
MilitantImbecile MilitantImbecile is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

Cherry-picker Furry

 
Posts: 95
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: bowing down to a statue of a fat jap
MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.MilitantImbecile is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-02-2013, 04:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
Must you always sound like a depressing fortune cookie?
Try quoting the Godly KJV for a change.
Ecclesiastes 1:2
Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
Fourm Member
Forum Member

True Christian™ Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian True Christian Homemaker True Christian Lady Christian Love 1st Year Bible College Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Bronze Tither Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Persecuted The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Pro-Life Punched the most queers True Republican

 
Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.BelieverInGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-02-2013, 06:58 PM

Great,

So last week was retard week and this week is turning into chink week.

Are we ever going to have a True Christian™ week around here?


Drama queen
Reply With Quote
(#40)
Old
Crisis's Avatar
Crisis Crisis is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 13
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godless Europistan
Crisis is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Introducing post! - 04-03-2013, 04:10 AM

BelieverInGod is extremely right, we must focus in the True Christians and in our beloved Jesus and not in some people trying to mislead us from him.
Psalms 119:2


Proverbs 3:6 - "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (KJV)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
chinks japs and gooks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved