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MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 02-04-2009, 02:13 PM



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 10:51 AM

So let's see now.....Blaspheming deleted just about any other area or part of the body are all approved, just as long as the censored does not approach or penetrate the deleted.

Last edited by Talitha; 03-19-2009 at 11:04 AM. Reason: Rude words deleted
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 01:08 PM

My apologies. What I had meant to say was:

So let's see....as long as the male and the gal's genetalia do not come close to each other and intercourse does not take place, it is perfectly appropriate for the hands,the mouth, or the genetalia of the male to be placed on any part of the female's person.
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 01:38 PM

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Originally Posted by PizzaPizza View Post
My apologies. What I had meant to say was:

So let's see....as long as the male and the gal's genetalia do not come close to each other and intercourse does not take place, it is perfectly appropriate for the hands, the mouth, or the genetalia of the male to be placed on any part of the female's person.
Hardly.

A girl's and Christian guy's vow of purity is easily maintained by the twelve inches of separation between them, which our youth pastors and chaperones enforce during Church-sanctioned youth group meetings, outings and affairs.

In fact, the young people's vows of purity are so strong and binding that, even when they are alone together and stopping on a remote county road to admire the deep cover of one of our Iowa corn fields, they know they must preserve their purity until the marriage bed. And so they do.

We countenance no prurience at Landover -- And those are the standards our young people uphold, even while saddlebacking.

Does that help?


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 02:17 PM

Oh dear. I fear that my previous post will be misunderstood by the Unsaved Trash, who so frequently attack our Holy Board with their ignorant and mean-spirited mocking of True Christianity....

When I mentioned "saddlebacking" in my previous post, what I was referring to is the saddleback caterpillar, which is a serious pest of corn.

Quite often, our Red State farm kids will help out their fathers by stopping by the fields to inspect the corn for the presence of this much-feared pest. Oddly -- but you know how young people are! -- they often perform this service for their fathers (and the neighbors and even complete strangers) at dusk and on the weekends.

I hope this clears up my meaning.


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 03:50 PM

I would also like to add a side point on to Brother Larry's Godly explanation. It has been asked "Well why don't we just marry the little horn dogs off the minute their hormones pop and be done with it?" The answer is quite simply the young are prone to over indulgence. For the same reason we prohibit teenagers from drinking alcohol less they drink so much they become alcoholics we must prohibit them from marrying and having sexual intercourse until they are mature enough not to have so much sex they become gay.

The age of maturity should be around thirty so until then young people should abstain and remain virgins.



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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-19-2009, 09:27 PM

The chart seems pretty clear to me.
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-20-2009, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
Hardly.

A girl's and Christian guy's vow of purity is easily maintained by the twelve inches of separation between them, which our youth pastors and chaperones enforce during Church-sanctioned youth group meetings, outings and affairs.
I believe the distance is somewhat greater for our ex-Negro teens, Brother Larry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
When I mentioned "saddlebacking" in my previous post, what I was referring to is the saddleback caterpillar, which is a serious pest of corn.

Quite often, our Red State farm kids will help out their fathers by stopping by the fields to insect the corn for the presence of this much-feared pest. Oddly -- but you know how young people are! -- they often perform this service for their fathers (and the neighbors and even complete strangers) at dusk and on the weekends.

I hope this clears up my meaning.
Yes, Brother Larry, it's quite clear that our loving teenage boys and girls often spend their summer evenings saddlebacking for their fathers.

How thoughtful of them!


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-20-2009, 03:21 AM

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Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
I believe the distance is somewhat greater for our ex-Negro teens, Brother Larry.

Yes, Brother Larry, it's quite clear that our loving teenage boys and girls often spend their summer evenings saddlebacking for their fathers.

How thoughtful of them!
Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.
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Question Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-20-2009, 04:03 AM

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Originally Posted by PizzaPizza View Post
Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.
Are you dense, boy? (That's a rhetorical question).


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-20-2009, 06:48 AM

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Originally Posted by PizzaPizza View Post
Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.
In your case, I'm sure 12" would be more than enough.
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-22-2009, 09:33 AM

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So...er.....you're saying you have sex with feet? And with knees? And with the belly button? Oh...my....



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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-22-2009, 10:48 AM

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So...er.....you're saying you have sex with feet? And with knees? And with the belly button? Oh...my....
Your incantations have no power here, Witch! Be Gone, in Jesus precious name.


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-29-2009, 07:20 AM

So you do have sex with feet, then?



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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-29-2009, 01:59 PM

The chart just shows areas where virginity is not at risk. That doesn't mean that you have to put your pecker there, or that anyone had ever even done it.


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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-29-2009, 02:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
The chart just shows areas where virginity is not at risk. That doesn't mean that you have to put your pecker there, or that anyone had ever even done it.
Witches like VanSaddlebags are so perverted that they don't even know what normal Christian sexural relations look like. She's used to participating in dark, strange and revolting practices.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Nobar King Nobar King is offline
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Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-29-2009, 02:43 PM

Well, at least her virginity stays intact when she engages in sexual foot-play.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-30-2009, 03:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
The chart just shows areas where virginity is not at risk. That doesn't mean that you have to put your pecker there, or that anyone had ever even done it.
Quote:
Witches like VanSaddlebags are so perverted that they don't even know what normal Christian sexural relations look like. She's used to participating in dark, strange and revolting practices.
I notice through all these accusations of yours, you've not once denied having sex with feet.

I rest my case.

And FYI, no, I can't say I'd like that done to my feet. I mean, I'm all for foot massages and lotion, but I can't say I'd enjoy...er....that...as foot lotion.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-30-2009, 03:52 AM

Look, young lady, I'm an adult. I play the way I want. Feet aren't really my thing. I prefer a good spanking.


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Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart - 03-30-2009, 04:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Look, young lady, I'm an adult. I play the way I want. Feet aren't really my thing. I prefer a good spanking.

Hey, whatever works for you.

I notice dear Zeke, however, has no such denial..



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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