Looking for a Christian endorsed work-out regiment

Zachary_Hunter · **Looking for a Christian endorsed work-out regiment -** 10-05-2012, 08:38 PM

I have been trying to work-out and get in shape lately, I was given a book by my neighbour but the problem is the author turned out to be an agnostic, after throwing the book into the garbage I have been trying to find a religiously sanctioned work-out routine.

I have found the title of one book online but cant find it in print anywhere.

He claims his tracksuit is in total accordance with the KJV, definitely a plus.

P.S. Does anyone know the exercise regiment Jesus is using to get ready for his second coming? I assume it would be a great work-out.

Mistress Cookie · **Re: Looking or a Christian endorsed work-out regiment -** 10-05-2012, 09:59 PM

This is an important topic, as we are made in God™s image, and God™ is far from a lazybones, rolypoly slacker.

When I need to reduce, I cook only from The Bible Cookbook...which relies on lots of nuts, berries, bark (just kidding!) and wild roasted meats. Serve in wooden bowls for the complete experience.

Try it!

Rev. M. Rodimer · **Re: Looking or a Christian endorsed work-out regiment -** 10-05-2012, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

This is an important topic, as we are made in God™s image, and God™ is far from a lazybones, rolypoly slacker.

When I need to reduce, I cook only from The Bible Cookbook...which relies on lots of nuts, berries, bark (just kidding!) and wild roasted meats. Serve in wooden bowls for the complete experience.

Try it!

It doesn't require us to cook food over human dung, does it?

I mean, my name's not Ezekiel.

Ezekiel 4:12
And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.

Sometimes, I'm glad not to be a prophet.

Professor Bessemer

This wonderful record has kept me in tip top condition for years.

WWJDnow

The only Biblically endorsed forms of exercise are boxing and running, but they're really not all that important from a Christian perspective:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:8

I used to go to the gym, but I always felt that the other guys in the locker room were staring at my naked buttocks, and that made me feel funny. It's not my fault that the Lord saw fit to give me an unusually attractive rear end, but I'm not going to use this blessing in a way that promotes the sinful gay lifestyle choice. So now I stay in shape simply by praying to Jesus to keep me fit.

Pastor Ezekiel

I believe that Rev. Pat Robertson has found a way to perform miracles on the leg press machine.

Yea-tho-we-walk

here's a fellow that has a good idea from craigslist. maybe you could contact him and see how it worked out for him.

Jogging Partner

Date: 2011-05-26, 9:09PM CDT

I am looking for a person of athletic build to help me get in shape.
I hate exercising with passion so the plan of action is this: I ingest Rohypnol [you supply the roofies as I don't know where to purchase them] and you strap my body to yours [limbs to limbs using velcro] and take me along on a jog. Three nights a week. If you're capable and interested, E-mail me so that we can discuss the fee.

Location: Des Moines, IA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2405055624