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On Jesus' Return -
09-02-2010, 05:45 AM
Ladies and gentlemen who bear the knowledge, I beg you to answer these questions, please, as my intellect is too limited to fully understand God's Book, namely, the parts regarding Jesus' return to Earth. Who better than the members of God's Only Forum to reply something like that?
Question 1: I managed to understand Jesus will return at the head of an army. How many are those?
Question 2: Where will he land? Popular opinion holds that place to be the plains of Megiddo, but I believe the joos made that up to feel important.
And an unrelated question:
Pastor Ezekiel's signature offers a very complete list that says who will be damned. How much of the human population does it include? Half? 75%?
Thank you for your attention.
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Outdoorsman, Hunter, Fisherman, Husband, True Christian™
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Posts: 1,565
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-02-2010, 06:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Tom Heist
Ladies and gentlemen who bear the knowledge, I beg you to answer these questions, please, as my intellect is too limited to fully understand God's Book, namely, the parts regarding Jesus' return to Earth. Who better than the members of God's Only Forum to reply something like that?
Question 1: I managed to understand Jesus will return at the head of an army. How many are those?
Question 2: Where will he land? Popular opinion holds that place to be the plains of Megiddo, but I believe the joos made that up to feel important.
And an unrelated question:
Pastor Ezekiel's signature offers a very complete list that says who will be damned. How much of the human population does it include? Half? 75%?
Thank you for your attention.
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Try reading the Book of Revelation. You'll find most of your answers in there.
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GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
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Posts: 2,619
Join Date: May 2010
Location: At all times between Genesis and Revelation
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-02-2010, 06:21 AM
Hello Mr Heist,
Just letting you know your feeble attempt at "clever" word-smithery and blatant skullduggerous buggery of His Word, has not gone unnoticed by us.. A.T.Heist.
Obviously you are here merely to mock us and also our Savior, Jesus Christ.
The ruse is up, darwin-lover!
The questions you ask don't take a genius to answer, and if you were capable of actually reading a book with words, rather than just atheist smut and secular science drivel, a quick reading of The Book of Revelation would quell your curiosity on most, if not all points.
We are here to aid those with genuine curiosity and a loving interest in ALL THINGS JESUS. We however are not here for the likes of you to cast aspersions on our faith.
YIC
Mrs. Phebe Dewitt.
There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 08:45 PM
But I AM genuinely curious about Jesus and the army he'll invade Earth with. 'Know your enemy' and all that.
Now, to find out if the IDF will be forced to use nuclear weapons to destroy them. A 100,000,000 member army requires nothing less, I think.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Tom Heist
But I AM genuinely curious about Jesus and the army he'll invade Earth with. 'Know your enemy' and all that.
Now, to find out if the IDF will be forced to use nuclear weapons to destroy them. A 100,000,000 member army requires nothing less, I think.
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What's this? He'll invade? Like He's some cosmic flesh eating zombie general?
How DARE you, and you come here with your name in code too. I have no time for you ATHEIST!!!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 583
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Location: Melbourne Australia
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 09:23 PM
Mr A.T.Heist ( How original )
When Jesus arrives YOU will come to know first hand my friend.
Hordes of disgusting filthy mockers like you will be personally and mercilessly slaughtered by Jesus himself.
You don't think that Jesus would actually miss the opportunity to show his love for True Christians™ other than to personally terminate the very worst of mankind such as YOU
Hell-fire and a vengeful Jesus awaits you
2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the LORD is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
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Honorary True Christian™
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Posts: 13,993
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Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 09:25 PM
I bet the atheist thinks that Jesus is a space alien coming with an intergalactic army in UFOs!
These atheists will believe anything you tell them, as long as it makes God look bad. That's all they really care about, hating God.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Posts: 8,323
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Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 09:58 PM
Haven't you atheists wreaked enough havoc in the world? First it was the Buddha, who got fat eating innocent babies all day. Then it was the Jews, who killed Jesus because they hated God. Then it was Charles Darwin, who had sex with monkeys. Now you come to LBC forums to persecute helpless Christians for being moral. When will atheists quit their campaign against all that is good and decent?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-07-2010, 10:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I bet the atheist thinks that Jesus is a space alien coming with an intergalactic army in UFOs!
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Oh, not one of those Raelians, is he? Vorhillon himself admitted that it's just about the free sex.
Quote:
These atheists will believe anything you tell them, as long as it makes God look bad. That's all they really care about, hating God.
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Not quite true. Looking good doing it is high on my list. I mean, there's nothing worse than a nihilist with no fashion sense.
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Posts: 47
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Location: In a basement sheltered from sin
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-08-2010, 02:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Tom Heist
Question 1: I managed to understand Jesus will return at the head of an army. How many are those?
Question 2: Where will he land? Popular opinion holds that place to be the plains of Megiddo, but I believe the joos made that up to feel important.
And an unrelated question:
Pastor Ezekiel's signature offers a very complete list that says who will be damned. How much of the human population does it include? Half? 75%?
Thank you for your attention.
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In other words, you expect us to give away military intelligence about the holocaust, in a futile attempt to oppose it with your own army of the damned. Not falling for it. I'm loyal to The Lord.
Know the Bible:
Leviticus 19:28-29 forbids piercings and tattoos, and warns against raising ones daughters into harlots.
Romans 1:21-1:32 identifies homers as people so ungodly that The Lord has given them up.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 47
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In a basement sheltered from sin
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-10-2010, 11:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas W
In other words, you expect us to give away military intelligence about the holocaust, in a futile attempt to oppose it with your own army of the damned. Not falling for it. I'm loyal to The Lord.
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(After checking dictionaries on the matter, it occurs to me that I might be using the word "holocaust" very incorrectly here. (American isn't my native language.) Ah, well.)
Know the Bible:
Leviticus 19:28-29 forbids piercings and tattoos, and warns against raising ones daughters into harlots.
Romans 1:21-1:32 identifies homers as people so ungodly that The Lord has given them up.
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
09-18-2010, 08:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas W
In other words, you expect us to give away military intelligence about the holocaust, in a futile attempt to oppose it with your own army of the damned. Not falling for it. I'm loyal to The Lord.
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Remember, aiding the enemy makes you one. Also remember the sentence for high treason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warner S. Davidson
Hordes of disgusting filthy mockers like you will be personally and mercilessly slaughtered by Jesus himself.
You don't think that Jesus would actually miss the opportunity to show his love for True Christians™ other than to personally terminate the very worst of mankind such as YOU
Hell-fire and a vengeful Jesus awaits you
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Only if we lose.
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
10-09-2010, 06:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
What's this? He'll invade?
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in·va·sion/ɪnˈveɪ ʒən/Spelled[in-vey-zhuh n]
–noun
1. an act or instance of invading or entering as an enemy, esp. by an army.
Yes, he'll invade. And Israel (the landing site) and the rest of the world, for defeat wouldn't just mean the destruction of Israel, but of all of Mankind, would have every right, nay, the obligation to fight back. We certainly have the means to do that.
Who knows?
Perhaps we can bring the fight to them and destroy the one that ordered the attack. We already killed him once, we'll do it again.
Perhaps we can even conquer Heaven.
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Location: Anywhere some unlucky bloodsucker is located. I know who you are, vermin.
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Re: On Jesus' Return -
10-09-2010, 06:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Tom Heist
Perhaps we can even conquer Heaven.
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Impossible. The defences of Heaven are extremely well built and nigh unbreachable. For another thing, they're built on the highest ground imaginable. I also heard they have turrets that shoot high-explosive halos. There will be no conquering Heaven. Ever.
I also suspect Jesus is a skilled gunman. He could probably shoot an entire army to bits. Based on the fact he's immortal and invincible and can return from the dead at will, and all that.
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