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Reload this Page Staying in shape
Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 03:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I think THIS LINK will explain it all better. Its written in comic book form, so even a retard like you can understand. Praise Jesus, and thank you Brother Jack Chick.
Informative and entertaining. Not as much as reading the actual KJV1611, but children have to start somewhere.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 04:09 AM
The Heathen shoe licker still doesn't get it! Brother T said, 'GO TO CHURCH." Obviously, the shoe licking SINNER is fixated on his physical body of SIN! He is blinded by the DEVIL and can't get past the physical body of SEXUAL SIN!! The shoe licker heathen truly is retarded!!

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"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15

"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 06:16 AM
Whilst I realize that I am coming aboard this thread late, I just want to throw some more input into this (my apologies if another Brother or Sister has already posted this):

As the Bible states, Jesus is a potter and we are the clay. We are to take whatever shape He gives us!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isaiah 64:8
"But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and
thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."
Whatever shape Jesus decides to make me, I am happy with, as are all True Christians. The Lord decides what shape we are in: who are we to try to change that?

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Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 04:56 PM
Yeah, I'm going to stick with working out...thanks for all of the advice though.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
No.


That's no proof, that's funny video made by amateurs.
And I can't hear him saying that he is gay.
I know what you're up to: you're trying to trick us into posting a "professional" video of sodomite soccer players, aren't you? Disgusting! Friend, this website exists for the glorification of Jesus, not to provide deviants like you with twisted material to "appelfap" over!

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-29-2007, 09:28 PM
I already said you may change the 'f' in 's'.
It means somethin completetly else in Dutch.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-30-2007, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I already said you may change the 'f' in 's'.
It means somethin completetly else in Dutch.

Do you really want to be called "Appelsap" friend? You do know what the word "sap" means in Jesus' American-English?


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-30-2007, 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I already said you may change the 'f' in 's'.
It means somethin completetly else in Dutch.
And are you certain that you want people to know that you are a narcotic-tolerating, porn-loving albino-looking Dutchman? I'd hide that if I were you.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-30-2007, 01:20 AM
For Breakfast:
Bacon
Eggs
Toast with lots of butter
Glass of orange juice
Leftover bacon Grease

For Lunch:
Pork Sandwich

For Dinner:
Prime Rib, 2Lbs.
Bread with lots of butter
For Desert: Chocolate Sundae

I compliment this healthy Christian diet with an hour of running each day, and my blood pressure is 110/60 - so much for the liberal scientists and their "red meat is unhealthy" propaganda.

Bush/Halliburton '08-Rapture!
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-30-2007, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I play soccer.
Soccer? Soccer is a gay Euro sport. See here.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-31-2007, 08:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
And are you certain that you want people to know that you are a narcotic-tolerating, porn-loving albino-looking Dutchman? I'd hide that if I were you.
I'm not Dutch, I'm Belgian.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-31-2007, 08:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I'm not Dutch, I'm Belgian.
I notice you didn't deny being an albino-looking narcotic-tolerating porn-lover.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-31-2007, 10:29 PM
Quote:
I'm not Dutch, I'm Belgian.
Anyone that speaks French will surely have a rendezvous with Satan in hell.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-31-2007, 11:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I'm not Dutch, I'm Belgian.
Whatever. Over here you're both known as mooches so it doesn't make a lot of difference anyway.

Dean
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-31-2007, 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I'm not Dutch, I'm Belgian.
We know all about Belgium here, buddy.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 02-01-2007, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
Anyone that speaks French will surely have a rendezvous with Satan in hell.
I don't speak French.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 02-01-2007, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I don't speak French.

So what? You country is responsible for the vegetable of the Devil the Brussels Sprout! That alone show you and your fellow countrymen are capable of unspeakable evil!!!


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Default Re: Staying in shape - 02-01-2007, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Appelfap. View Post
I don't speak French.
Then you aren't Belgian.

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 02-01-2007, 09:32 PM
You're either Belgian or you're not! Quit waffling!

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 02-02-2007, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
So what? You country is responsible for the vegetable of the Devil the Brussels Sprout! That alone show you and your fellow countrymen are capable of unspeakable evil!!!
What's wrong with them?
I didn't invented the Brussels sprout

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Then you aren't Belgian.
Yes, yes I am.
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