General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 07:02 AM
It is my hope you will come out peaceably when the car arrives.
On another note, I do not appreciate being called "Miss Back Door" or any other slanderous epitaph. (Who have you been talking to?) You are in a good deal of trouble already and I urge you to consider your words carefully.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 08:01 AM
Ezekiel Bathfire, PLEASE ANSWER YOUR PHONE, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!
Mayor Joe Hold, your maid said you weren't home? It's desperately important that I talk to you ASAP!!!!!
Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God please help me, Jesus!
Posted from LBC for Android™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 08:14 AM
There's nothing to be afraid of, Brother Machine. Just get in the car when it arrives for you.
You know the Pastors and Male Elders give everyone a fair hearing. Though first you will be going before me, and the other "harpies" (as you call us on your computer) in the bookkeeping department.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 09:48 AM
You think you're so clever using your nanny state NSA back doors to triangulate my position!
To a certain pastor's wife who shall remain nameless:
There are no hard feelings about you not opening your front door. Thank you for dropping your jacket and your old cell phones and that bag of hard tack out your bedroom window. If I never see you again, please know your kindness has been the flicker of warmth that sustains me through this dark, cold night.
Posted from LBC for BlackBerry™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 10:37 AM
To all Church™ Members and True Brothers and Sisters in Christ™
Please be advised that Brother Faith Machine has "dropped off the grid" and is attempting to evade escort to a perfectly perfunctory tithing audit scheduled for this morning in the Church™ Offices.
The boys in the Department of Faith (DoF) has been alerted, but it is YOUR eyes and ears on the ground that can help bring this to a speedy closure. It is obvious that Brother Machine is in a confused state, and needs the Church™s assistance this cold and frosty morn.
Any sightings, or rumors of sightings, should be reported here. Security is patrolling the board (and Freehold Proper) as we speak.
Thank you.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 10:38 AM
I'm not going back to the Room With No Shadows! I won't do it!
Jorge Cabron survived for weeks without being detected, and so can I!
Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God help me Jesus please, please, please help me Jesus!!!!
Posted from LBC for BlackBerry™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 10:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Yes yes, Mother...although we at the Church Offices first thought it was a joke, we received your very thoughtful little $1,000 check, marked "Please do not cash until the 15th of the month." I set it aside with the rest of the junk mail the Pastors get, but will look for it later.
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Yes, I'm sorry, it's not much, and barely worth mentioning, but we're going through some tough times at the moment with my husband's dealing with that pedophile Austrian priest, Regens Kuechl.
And I'm sorry for that little note, but hopefully all this nasty matter will be sorted by then and I can be assured that it goes to assist Brother Hutchins.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 10:54 AM
Mother of Seven, I am going to dial your number exactly five minutes from now. Please, please, please pick up the phone.
Posted from LBC for BlackBerry™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 10:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
Yes, I'm sorry, it's not much, and barely worth mentioning, but we're going through some tough times at the moment...
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You know, Mother dear, you could be of great help by helping to look for Brother Faith Machine. Don't you have a bicycle? You could sweep the woods on the east part of town and try to flush him out (?) The dogs aren't ready yet.
He was last seen on Reservation Road...
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 11:23 AM
Well, he phoned me as promised, and I asked him where he was but he wouldn't give the slightest hint. I also tried to track his call, but he was too much on the ball, and kept the conversation brief.
My little dachshunds have good noses - I'll put them on the scent. If they find him, I'll try to keep him here until you come to collect him - no promises though.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 11:33 AM
Thank you, dear Sister.
Every effort is appreciated : )
I just may be on my way to "losing" that little check you sent in, wink wink
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 03:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
You know the Pastors and Male Elders give everyone a fair hearing.
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I am fairly certain we agreed to stop with these sleep-inducing hearings and implement a shoot-on-sight policy instead. But I am not 100% sure as I slept during most of our last meeting and I vote whatever Pastor Ezekiel tells me to vote anyway.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 03:34 PM
Does anyone know if Faith Machine has a passport? If so, I hope you have the airport covered. Because he hasn't been heard of for over 4 hours now and he could be half way to anywhere.
Brother Faith Machine, if you are on your way to Europe give me a call when you get here as I have a spare room.
Mistress Cookie - the room has a bolt on the outside and I'll call you if he turns up.
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 06:37 PM
I was so touched by all of you I could do little but stand by and watch. Thanks to Osama IRS false Christians, they revoked my 501C registration and put a lien on all my 'Hutchins Rest Stop Kneeling for the Love of Christ Misitries'. assets, taking the rig, Bibles I got from the Holiday Inn as well as all bank accounts associated with my minitry. I have not been able to offer little more than a out stretched hand to my fellow travelers for over a week.
That all said, I also have not seen a single penny from this fund raising drive. While I fully understand LBC, Ltd. must cover handing costs, from what I have been told by the Church accountants is that only $5.00 (five dollars) has been processed so far. We need your help. Look at this young man, in such dire need of Gods Love©. How can I ignore his needs?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 08:55 PM
I can see your problem Brother Hutchins. He's even lost the shirt off his back. Maybe I should cancel the check, and send it direct to you. But then if your bank accounts have been stopped, how can I get the money to you?
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 08:58 PM
Had to change phone again because of back door tracking...
So cold...
Thirsty... hungry... all garden hoses and Dumpsters locked behind gates in accordance with local anti-vagrancy ordinance...
Tired...
So, so tired...
Help me help me help me help me Jesus...
Just need to rest for a minute...
Posted from LBC for Symbian™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 09:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Had to change phone again because of back door tracking...
So cold...
Thirsty... hungry... all garden hoses and Dumpsters locked behind gates in accordance with local anti-vagrancy ordinance...
Tired...
So, so tired...
Help me help me help me help me Jesus...
Just need to rest for a minute...
Posted from LBC for Symbian™
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Dear Brother Faith,
It saddens me to see you in such a dire situation. A word of advice to you: seek Pastor Zeke immediately and beg him for forgiveness, and tell him that whatever happened, it was devil who did it, not you. This tactic has worked for Jim Bakker, so it should work for you, too.
In the meantime, my prayers are with you. I do hope that you will take at least some pleasure in whatever penitence Pastor Zeke will give you. Whatever it is, just close your eyes and think about .
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 09:25 PM
Pastor...
Zeke...
Zeke will...
...make me go in...
...the place where there are no...
...no shadows...
Must... hide...
so...
sleepy
Posted from LBC for Palm Pilot™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven
I can see your problem Brother Hutchins. He's even lost the shirt off his back. Maybe I should cancel the check, and send it direct to you. But then if your bank accounts have been stopped, how can I get the money to you?
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The funds shopuld of gone directly to the Church. Mriss Cookie, who is above reproach, will deposit it in the correct account and once the basic funding costs incurred by LBC and the POC (Pastorial Oversight Committee) the balance will be made available to me. As I understand it, the account must have a minimum of $5,000 before funds can be disbursed. I am not sure if that is a daily or weekly amount.
I am uncomfortable about dealing with donated funds and instead prefer to service Jesus orally.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: URGENT funding need: Save James Hutchins' Truck Stop Ministry! -
02-03-2014, 09:55 PM
Have...
all this cash...
All this cash...
...collected for Brother Hutchins...
...thousands of dollars cash in my pocket...
But nobody will sell me food...
Oh God oh God I...
...so thirsty...
Oh...
Posted from LBC for Palm Pilot™
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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