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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Hello - 12-15-2013, 03:59 AM

Hello


My favourite verse is John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.


My church is The Church of Eternal Damnation.
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD's Avatar
Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:08 AM

Hello Irene, and welcome to God's friendly forum!

It is always nice to see someone following the directives and posting their first post here in the Introductions subforum.

A few pertinent questions if you please:

  • Do you have your father's or husband's (whichever applies) permission to be online and posting here?
  • Are you legal? (By that I mean old enough to be here, 18 or older?)
  • If married, how many sons have you brought forth for Jesus?
  • What denomination is the church you attend?
  • Have you received the hematological gift of Christ?
I hope you find your time here enjoyable and informative.




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Pim Pendergast Pim Pendergast is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:17 AM

Welcome, Irene. Share with us your testimony of how you came to find Jesus.


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:21 AM

My dear beloved husband passed away recently. He was a member of the Bendover Baptist Church. Are they connected with the Landover Church in any way?
I am well and truly over 18.
Alas, I bore no sons to my husband as he never visited my bed, preferring to spend his time with his fellows from the Bendover Church.
The Church of Eternal Damnation is independent of the obscenities that are the Catholic or Anglican churches.
As for haematological gifts - my palms bleed every March/April. Is that what you're talking about?
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast View Post
Welcome, Irene. Share with us your testimony of how you came to find Jesus.
I was an evil heathen until 5 years ago. The came the wildfire. Out of the flames, Jesus walked towards me and told me that I either accepted him into my life, or I would burn like the other 180 people who refused him. I chose Jesus.
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:33 AM

You're mighty close-mouthed, Irene. Tell us about yourself. Do you have your husband's permission to be posting here? How many sons have you given him? I'm sure the ladies would love to hear about your best pie recipe...

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:41 AM

My favourite pie recipe:


Ingredients
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large brown onion, finely chopped
500g lean beef mince
1 tablespoon cornflour
3/4 cup beef stock
3/4 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon barbecue sauce
1 teaspoon Vegemite
2 sheets frozen, ready-rolled shortcrust pastry, thawed
2 sheets frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 egg, beaten


As I said above, I was recently widowed.
I do like the wink in your eye, Pastor Ezekial.



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Method
Heat oil in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion. Cook for 3 minutes or until soft. Add mince. Cook for 4 minutes, stirring with a wooden spoon, or until browned.
Mix cornflour and 1 tablespoon of stock to form a paste. Add remaining stock. Add stock, sauces and Vegemite to mince. Bring to the boil. Reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer for 8 minutes or until thick. Cool. Preheat oven to 220°C. Place a baking tray into oven. Grease 4 x 8cm base measurement pie pans.
Cut 4 x 15cm circles from shortcrust pastry. Use to line bases and sides of pans. Fill with mince. Brush rims with water. Cut 4 x 15cm circles from puff pastry. Place over meat. Press to seal. Trim. Brush with egg. Season.
Place pies onto hot tray. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden.
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:49 AM

What monstrosity is this? Are you some kind of New Zealand abo squaw? No Christian woman would try and pass vegemite off as food.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What monstrosity is this? Are you some kind of New Zealand abo squaw? No Christian woman would try and pass vegemite off as food.
I come from no such heathen hellhole as NZ! I'm Australian.
Praise be to God. I prostate myself at his feet.
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD's Avatar
Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Sons of Liberty Kirk Cameron Fan Club Persecuted Paula Deen Negro Support Group Truck Stop Ministry Member Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hands Off

 
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
My dear beloved husband passed away recently.
I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. You have my condolences.

Quote:
Matthew 5:4 (1611 King James Bible)

Blessed are they that mourne: for they shall be comforted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
He was a member of the Bendover Baptist Church. Are they connected with the Landover Church in any way?
Not that I know of, but then one of our fine Pastors would be better able to answer this. I am glad to hear it was a Baptist church though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I am well and truly over 18.
Good. We get many adolescents up to no good here, we just like to be sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
Alas, I bore no sons to my husband as he never visited my bed, preferring to spend his time with his fellows from the Bendover Church.
Are you homely, otherwise repugnant, or lacking in hygiene, dear? Can you think of any reason you husband chose to ignore God's commandment:

Quote:
Deuteronomy 30:16 (1611 King James Bible)

In that I command thee this day to loue the Lord thy God, to walke in his wayes, and to keepe his Commandements, and his Statutes, and his Iudgements, that thou maiest liue and multiply: and the Lord thy God shall blesse thee in the land, whither thou goest to possesse it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
The Church of Eternal Damnation is independent of the obscenities that are the Catholic or Anglican churches.
Well, this tells us what denominations it is not, but not what denomination it is. It is my fault though for overwhelming your delicate female mind with too many questions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
As for haematological gifts - my palms bleed every March/April. Is that what you're talking about?
I am speaking of the blood of Christ, which washes away our sins.

Quote:
1 John 1:7 (1611 King James Bible)

But if wee walke in the light, as he is in the light, wee haue fellowship one with another, and the blood of Iesus Christ his Sonne clenseth vs from all sinne.
You are referring to stigmata.




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 04:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I come from no such heathen hellhole as NZ! I'm Australian.
Praise be to God. I prostate myself at his feet.
So you must use maggots in your pie. That what you abos eat up there, I know. Did you get to hear any of my sermons during the Landover Baptist Mission to Austria we held a few years back?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So you must use maggots in your pie. That what you abos eat up there, I know. Did you get to hear any of my sermons during the Landover Baptist Mission to Austria we held a few years back?
Unfortunately, that was before I came to the lord. Are you planning another trip?
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
Unfortunately, that was before I came to the lord. Are you planning another trip?
Not on your life. That place smelled to high Heaven. I spend about half of my time over in the Ornamental "countries," trying to get the slants to accept Christ Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post

Are you homely, otherwise repugnant, or lacking in hygiene, dear? Can you think of any reason you husband chose to ignore God's commandment:
I keep a good house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor daily. Other than my daily ablutions, and my sleep, I spent all my days in the kitchen cooking for him and praying to the lord. He never wanted to pray with me; he preferred to pray with the menfolk (or at least that's what he told me).


Quote:
Well, this tells us what denominations it is not, but not what denomination it is. It is my fault though for overwhelming your delicate female mind with too many questions.
I am making an extra special effort, despite my weak constitution, to answer. I don't know what denomination it is. They don't tell we weak females finer details like that.

Quote:
I am speaking of the blood of Christ, which washes away our sins.
Where can I bathe in his blood? That sounds like something I might want to do.
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Not on your life. That place smelled to high Heaven. I spend about half of my time over in the Ornamental "countries," trying to get the slants to accept Christ Jesus.
I fear that may been a wasted effort on your part - they are demons in those ornamental places. Descendants of Shem, the lot of them.

I read your bio. A collection of paddles! Could I see them some time?
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
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Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I keep a good house. I scrubbed the kitchen floor daily. Other than my daily ablutions, and my sleep, I spent all my days in the kitchen cooking for him and praying to the lord. He never wanted to pray with me; he preferred to pray with the menfolk (or at least that's what he told me).
Somehow you displeased him, otherwise he would have sought to bring forth sons for Christ. But what's done is done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
I am making an extra special effort, despite my weak constitution, to answer. I don't know what denomination it is. They don't tell we weak females finer details like that.
Does your church follow the Word of God to the letter?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post
Where can I bathe in his blood? That sounds like something I might want to do.
You can do this anytime, anywhere. Have you not already bathed in His blood?




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS View Post

I read your bio. A collection of paddles! Could I see them some time?
Well, I don't like to brag, but I have one of the finest collections in America.










Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD View Post
You can do this anytime, anywhere. Have you not already bathed in His blood?
Would that be akin to bathing in wine? Matthew 26: 26-28.
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IreneS IreneS is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 05:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well, I don't like to brag, but I have one of the finest collections in America.
Alas, my husband never had a collection like that! I wish he had, and had beaten me as I'd deserved.
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: Hello - 12-15-2013, 01:28 PM

Irene, I must confess I'm surprised that the pastors here have already promoted you to the rank of Forum Member. They must see some potential in you which I fail to perceive. Perhaps if you uploaded a nice picture of yourself...


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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