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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-17-2007, 01:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
What's wrong with sex? Most people have it. It feels good, makes babies, and God made us to have it.
Have you introduced yourself in the introductions thread yet, nancy? Are you even a Christian? What kind of a stupid question are you asking here?

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-17-2007, 09:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Have you introduced yourself in the introductions thread yet, nancy? Are you even a Christian? What kind of a stupid question are you asking here?
Yea, I am a christian, and it's not a stupid question. A guy has a penis, a woman has a vagiana. When a guy loves a woman, and a woman loves a guy, and they would like to make love...you get the picture.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-17-2007, 09:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
Yea, I am a christian, and it's not a stupid question. A guy has a penis, a woman has a vagiana. When a guy loves a woman, and a woman loves a guy, and they would like to make love...you get the picture.
If I love my mother and my mother loves me, would you consider it ok for us to make love?

You are SICK!!!

As a True Christian ™ I'm not even allowed to see my mother naked, why, that's just as bad as having sex with my father!!!

Leviticus 18:7 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

How can you consider yourself a christian (I note you didn't even capitalize it... shame) when you think anytime a man and woman love each other they MUST have sex.

You are a sick sick sick person.

YIC
V
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-17-2007, 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
If I love my mother and my mother loves me, would you consider it ok for us to make love?

You are SICK!!!

As a True Christian ™ I'm not even allowed to see my mother naked, why, that's just as bad as having sex with my father!!!

Leviticus 18:7 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

How can you consider yourself a christian (I note you didn't even capitalize it... shame) when you think anytime a man and woman love each other they MUST have sex.

You are a sick sick sick person.

YIC
V
I didn't say you had to have sex, and loveing your mother is diffrent. She's your mother!
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-17-2007, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
When a guy loves a woman, and a woman loves a guy, and they would like to make love.

You have to love them? ooopps

You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-18-2007, 02:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
Yea, I am a christian, and it's not a stupid question. A guy has a penis, a woman has a vagiana. When a guy loves a woman, and a woman loves a guy, and they would like to make love...you get the picture.
Hey! Watch your language! When a guy loves a woman, he puts part A into the Devil's Valley and prays to Jesus for a heterosexual blue eyed baby boy, then he grabs ahold of the Dirty Pillows and goes for the full 8 seconds!

Investment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible!
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-18-2007, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Most Certainly, Brothers!

And who but "doctors" teach "women" to "do" (as in "do" Drugs) those......KEGEL EXERCISES!!!
Hmmmm... its funny you brought that up. I have no idea what that is but Jean had mentioned something about these "Kegel" exercises a few months ago.

I still don't understand what it's about. It must be some sort of hide-and-go-seek type game because in the last month I started losing things around the house. First I lost a golf ball, then my baseball, now I can't find my bowling ball.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-18-2007, 05:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
What's wrong with sex? Most people have it. It feels good, makes babies, and God made us to have it.
No, you imbecile, God made us to praise and worship Him for eternity!

1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunar_seed View Post
I didn't say you had to have sex, and loveing your mother is diffrent. She's your mother!
Where did you make a distinction for relatives? What about unmarried people?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-18-2007, 09:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
No, you imbecile, God made us to praise and worship Him for eternity!

1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Where did you make a distinction for relatives? What about unmarried people?

Married people can have it as much as they want. I'm not here to say how much sex you can have. You can have as much, or as little as you want. As long as you're happy with it. My feeling on un-married is this; they can have it, too. God knows that they love each. You don't need an other person to tell you to have sex. And I think it's wrong to have sex with relatives. It's gross to me.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-18-2007, 10:17 PM
Quote:
I'm sorry, this forum is for "MEN ONLY." Not girly False Christians that hug trees.
In addition, maybe it should be WHITE MEN ONLY and COLORED MEN ONLY. That would allow us men to REALLY "relate" with the young people, eh?

RELEASE THE DOGS AND TURN ON THE FIREHOSES!!

GLORY!!
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-22-2007, 03:13 AM
Umm.....Can someone tell me where this docotor is? It might help keep me out of trouble.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-22-2007, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by kikirnw View Post
Umm.....Can someone tell me where this docotor is? It might help keep me out of trouble.
The only "doctor" you need is Jesus. If you followed His Holy Commandments and learned to keep your legs closed like a proper Christian girl, then all of your troubles would be over.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-22-2007, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The only "doctor" you need is Jesus. If you followed His Holy Commandments and learned to keep your legs closed like a proper Christian girl, then all of your troubles would be over.
Once again if I beleived Jesus was anything but just a man than maybe I would agree with you. Seeing how I don't than I guess I won't be a proper christian girl, however I have been keeping my legs closed.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 04-24-2007, 10:42 PM
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I have been keeping my legs closed.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 05-08-2007, 11:18 PM
Ohh, i think i need one of these!
hehe =]
Oh btw Moonflower, theres another Wiccan here!

Open your mind and heart
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 05-08-2007, 11:30 PM
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Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Ohh, i think i need one of these!
hehe =]
Oh btw Moonflower, theres another Wiccan here!
Great, just when the forum was suffering from a serious deficit of empty-headedness and blasphemy as well.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 05-08-2007, 11:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Ohh, i think i need one of these!
hehe =]
Oh btw Moonflower, theres another Wiccan here!
Yes, Moonflower, and this one had a tallywhacker, but chopped it off so he could serve "the Goddess" as a female!

Don't you wish YOU could have shown your commitment like s/he did?
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 05-09-2007, 04:41 PM
So what is wrong with a little physical pleasure while relieving back pain? I get the impression you TC's don't get very much and thats why you have a stick up your butt about everything. Maybe you guys are the reason for her pain in the ass.
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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 05-09-2007, 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Bozo James View Post
Maybe you guys are the reason for her pain in the behind.
You're certainly a factor in ours, you witless gorm.

Why do you hate Jesus? He just wants to love you.
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Default Re: Men, do not let your wife go to the doctors with "back" pain! - 07-01-2007, 05:50 AM
YEAH!! Let the bitches suffer! I WILL RAPE THEM ALL AND THEY SHALL FEEL MY WARM HEAVENLY SPUNK IN THEIR EARS!!!
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