Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 12:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson
As if it hasn't been clearly spelled out for them: No women or homosexuals are allwed in the Promise Enforcers forum.
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Brother Elmer, the homers and unsaved women never listen. They'll always barge in here where they are not welcome while us men folk are trying to have a conversation.
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Another rule for women: Never run the dishwasher, clothes washer, clothes dryer, or garbage disposal while a man is watching sports on TV. You women should be capable of planning around our sports events and still stay caught up with your chores. It is OK to iron quietly during the sporting events, but keep a cold beer and some chips and dip read for action!
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In my opinion the washer and dryer are fine if, and only if, they are on the other side of the house and there is no way at all for the husband to possibly hear them. That said though the wife better be quick if doing laundry during the game in case her husband needs another beer, some more chips, or the like. It doesn't do to leave him waiting as he works hard everyday to provide for his family and deserves to be able to relax at home.
The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 12:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
SCAT! SHOO! Stop trying to infect our women with your feminazi lies. Bugger off now.
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It's a valid question, Zeke. If you don't want the women to look in this forum, just how are they meant to read these rules?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 12:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
It's a valid question, Zeke. If you don't want the women to look in this forum, just how are they meant to read these rules?
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Their husbands will tell them these rules once we men have finalized them. The womenfolk shouldn't read these rules right now as we are still discussing them and any changes we make to the rules will only confuse them.
The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 01:06 AM
Bah. You can't expect to title a thread 'rules for women' and not have them read it.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Bah. You can't expect to title a thread 'rules for women' and not have them read it.
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We can if we ban them!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 01:23 AM
And if you did that, who'd fetch your beer?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Bah. You can't expect to title a thread 'rules for women' and not have them read it.
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It is quite true that we cannot expect much from females, and especially unsaved trash like you. That is why God commands them to shut up and let their Men do their thinking. Glory!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Scientific Advisor
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 01:39 AM
Praise Jesus, Pastor Zeke has hit the nail on the head again: Women should be seen and not heard! Sure you can read these posts, but who invited your opinion?! If we wanted to convolve the topic, we'd ask unsaved men to comment here. Only through our immense compassion for you be-wombed creatures do we keep from setting your account to "Read-Only".
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Night Hag
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 02:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
It is quite true that we cannot expect much from females, and especially unsaved trash like you. That is why God commands them to shut up and let their Men do their thinking. Glory!
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If they ever evolve enough to be capable of coherent thought,perhaps we might...though you'd best not hold your breath.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 05:02 PM
Women should fix themselves a separate bed in the garden shed for when they have their ladies' time, preferably with dollar-store sheets that they won't miss afterward. Also, don't expect any help from men in changing the sheets.
Leviticus 15:19-23: And if a woman have an issue, [and] her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it [be] on [her] bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
And don't even think of tempting your Godly husband into performing the marital act with you:
Leviticus 15:24: And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.
Leviticus 20:18: And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 09:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
Women should fix themselves a separate bed in the garden shed for when they have their ladies' time, preferably with dollar-store sheets that they won't miss afterward. Also, don't expect any help from men in changing the sheets.
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You know, most women know how to take care of themselves during that time so they don't bleed everywhere. And if they don't, they should learn. What did you think, that we just let the blood pour everywhere?
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And don't even think of tempting your Godly husband into performing the marital act with you:
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Why? There are ways to get around the messiness there. Sheesh, I can't believe you'd let some book decide your every move. It was written by savages many years ago, if it told you to dress in animal skins and live in caves would you do that too?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 01-29-2007 at 09:51 PM.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-29-2007, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You know, most women know how to take care of themselves during that time so they don't bleed everywhere. And if they don't, they should learn. What did you think, that we just let the blood pour everywhere?
Rule: Women are not allowed to speak about their naughty sinful parts in the presence of men.
Why? There are ways to get around the messiness there. Sheesh, I can't believe you'd let some book decide your every move. It was written by savages many years ago, if it told you to dress in animal skins and live in caves would you do that too?
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"Get around the messiness"? You mean poop packing? You have reached a new low in depravity, Van Hellbound.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-30-2007, 01:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
You know, most women know how to take care of themselves during that time so they don't bleed everywhere. And if they don't, they should learn. What did you think, that we just let the blood pour everywhere?
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I think God knew what His plan was when He gave us that passage from Scripture, and it had nothing to do with the devil's little cotton fingers. Since you seem to be a little cranky, Mrs. Van Heinous, maybe your time for the garden shed is coming up soon.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Seeking the Truth©
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-30-2007, 01:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord
Forced? True Christian™ women are not forced to submit, they understand why it is important to submit to their husband.
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Exactly. The Bible clearly distinguishes between the roles of women and men. Men are to have headship and women are to be helpers. Anyone who can read and actually opens the Bible can see this pretty clearly. Why can't the average person understand that women are not forced into submission, but see that it truly is what God desires? I am a woman, and I can say that I am not forced into being submissive to men, I choose to be out of respect for God's will.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-30-2007, 03:42 AM
if you are an obediant woman, why are reading the Men's ONLY forum AND have the GALL to post to it?
if you knew your place you would wait patiently to speak until YOU were spoken to.
OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!
Disgruntled, Sister Thumper
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-30-2007, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girls Do Not Wear Pants
Exactly. The Bible clearly distinguishes between the roles of women and men. Men are to have headship and women are to be helpers. Anyone who can read and actually opens the Bible can see this pretty clearly. Why can't the average person understand that women are not forced into submission, but see that it truly is what God desires? I am a woman, and I can say that I am not forced into being submissive to men, I choose to be out of respect for God's will.
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I'm sorry but your actions have forced me to give you a negative reputation. You claim to be a proper lady but by reading, let alone posting in, the Men's Forum you show you are not the lady you claim to be.
This is the Men's Forum, keep out. The Pastors will tell you about these rules once we men have finalized them.
The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-30-2007, 03:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
So, uh....why would a useless yappity woman be in the men's forum?
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You're not even supposed to be here Ms. Van Hellbound. Go away!
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Suspected Belgian - treat with caution
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-31-2007, 08:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
My Polack servant is white too, I suppose that means she can't be an immigrant either? Typical foreign nonsense.
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Well, I'm still no immigrant.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
01-31-2007, 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith
If they ever evolve enough to be capable of coherent thought,perhaps we might...though you'd best not hold your breath.
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You admit that evolution will never happen and never has?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Night Hag
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
02-01-2007, 01:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
You admit that evolution will never happen and never has?
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It fairly obviously hasn't progressed much with regard to the male of the species - at least not the bible banger variety.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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