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Reload this Page My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of trouble)
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 03:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
(Sigh) always the permisive liberal, aren't we? Well onanism leads to homerism since it is a same sex act. That's why we TRUE Christians keep our hands off our junk.

So even you can't stand to be alone with you, eh? Pity.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 07:30 PM

I thought you fags gentlmen could do "M"ing if you were doing it looking at Jesus... now if you ask me that leads to homosexuality.


Now that, that don't kill me can only make me stronger.

Last edited by Talitha; 06-11-2007 at 08:00 PM. Reason: Improper use of a badword.
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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 07:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard View Post
I thought you fags gentlmen could "M" if you were doing it looking at Jesus... now if you ask me that leads to homosexuality.
If I recall correctly, it's not as bad only if they THINK about Jesus while they do it. Shouting "OH GOD!" at climax apparently doesn't count.

Last edited by Talitha; 06-11-2007 at 08:00 PM. Reason: Using the "M" word in a quote
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 08:01 PM

I would ask you Heathens not to use the "M" word in our Godly Forum.

Jesus weeps.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 08:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I would ask you Heathens not to use the "M" word in our Godly Forum.

Jesus weeps.
There are lots of M words. Which ones make Jesus weep?

Mustard? Mainsail? Mortuary? Mahi-mahi? Mental? Merrily? Manipulate?Majorette? Mewling? Masticate? Massachusetts? Mandible? Mandatory? Maxilla? Magnesium? Motility? Montreal? Mamma mia? Miasma? Malachite? Manatee?Motorcycle? Mah-jong? Musical? Murderous? Maine? Mutiny?Mangled? Magma? Montessori? Meridian? Median? Merciful? Modular? Menarche? Metric? Monkeyshines? Mozzarella? Mutilate? Muttonchops?Municipality? Mincemeat? Malicious? Mutual? Milliner? Muzzle?Meditation? Mutation? Muenster? Millipede? Mitochondria? Muumuu?Medallion? Magnanimous? Multiple? Montana? Memory? Menagerie? Melodrama? Midol? Mammogram? Mongoose? Mulberry Mongolian? Madrigal? Monogamous? Menstruation? Magnificent? Medicine? Mahogany? Maniacal? Mesmerize? Morphology? Marrow? Madagascar? Melodious? Monopoly? Mosquito? Muffin? Moisture? Mucous membrane? Magnetic? Malnutrition? Misanthrope? Monozygotic? Mnemonic? Malaria? Microscopic? Monolithic? Mannikin? Mellifluous? Mackerel? Macrame? Maelstrom? Maidenhead? Muscadine? Mandrake? Melanoma? Multiplication?
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 08:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
If I recall correctly, it's not as bad only if they THINK about Jesus while they do it. Shouting "OH GOD!" at climax apparently doesn't count.
And I'll thank you not to use the word "climax" on GOD'S Favorite Forum.



Stern, Sister Thumper




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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
And I'll thank you not to use the word "climax" on GOD'S Favorite Forum.



Stern, Sister Thumper

Would you prefer "denouement?"
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 09:10 PM

Just so you know, Bobby-Joe... I won't be fapping, or "M-ing" as you TC call it, to that picture anytime soon.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 10:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Would you prefer "denouement?"
Since when do good Americans use French words???



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-11-2007, 10:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Just so you know, Bobby-Joe... I won't be fapping, or "M-ing" as you TC call it, to that picture anytime soon.
Well there maybe hope for you yet then.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 12:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
And I'll thank you not to use the word "climax" on GOD'S Favorite Forum.



Stern, Sister Thumper
I'd never expect someone as comely as you to let mere words effect you.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 12:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goatboy View Post
I'd never expect someone as comely as you to let mere words effect you.
Watch your mouth around my girl, goatboy.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 01:09 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Watch your mouth around my girl, goatboy.

So why haven't you married her and started makng little soldiers for Jesus? Neither of you is getting any younger.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 02:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
So why haven't you married her and started makng little soldiers for Jesus? Neither of you is getting any younger.
I suspect he is an infrasexual who no doubt appears as a vampire in the astral plane.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 02:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Watch your mouth around my girl, goatboy.
Under her name it says, "Caring, affectionate, and comely Sister"

I bet she is comely indeed. She sure looks it.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 02:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Goetien View Post
I suspect he is an infrasexual who no doubt appears as a vampire in the astral plane.
Forgive my ignorance, but what the heck are you talking about?
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 02:49 AM

As usual, the heathens are trying their best to take over GOD's forum. These selfish and Godless folks are preventing my son from performing his Godly duty of raising young warriors for HIS army.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Forgive my ignorance, but what the heck are you talking about?
Infrasexuals are...

People who hate sex (nuns, priests, monk, etc.)
Homosexuals, dominatrices, those who engage in bestiality
The promiscuous, the pedophiles, to name a few.

Anyone whose sexual energies are corrupted and twisted

I suspect "pastor" Zeke is a homosexual. Who else would refuse to marry such a comely woman but a homosexual sodomite butt pillaging fudge farmer without any gag reflex? Homosexuals appear as vampires in the astral plane, where consciously asleep people dream at night. Because their energies are imbalanced and corrupted they seek energy from normal people because they hate the cross which is the union of the phallus and the vagina. They do not transmute. That requires a man and a woman.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 03:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
As usual, the heathens are trying their best to take over GOD's forum. These selfish and Godless folks are preventing my son from performing his Godly duty of raising young warriors for HIS army.
A female SENIOR PASTOR? A female pastor at LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?! Oh, my... you outrank many of the men.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-12-2007, 08:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Goetien View Post
A female SENIOR PASTOR? A female pastor at LANDOVER BAPTIST?!?!?! Oh, my... you outrank many of the men.
It is an honary title for all the work she has done for the church.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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