Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 01-11-2015, 10:07 PM







Keep up the good work, ladies!
Keep your sons' anuses free from Sodomites!
Don't spare the discipline your boy needs to be loved by God!



He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 13:24

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 19:18

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him
Proverbs 22:15

Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 23:13-14

The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil:
so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
Proverbs 20:30

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul:
but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
Matthew 10:28


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 01-12-2015, 03:51 PM

Hallelujah!

Last week I caught my son, Mr. Whitford Jr., playing with his sister. Knowing how that sort of thing can gender confuse a young boy, I immediately sprang into action and tanned that boy's bottom!

Oh! And thanks for the reminder! I think the girl can come out of her prayer closet now.


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 01-13-2015, 03:13 AM

Thanks, mom!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 01-13-2015, 05:55 AM

Personally, I think we should thank Jesus for not making us queer. Because He could, you know.
Quote:

Ezekiel 14:13 Son of man, when the land sinneth against me by trespassing grievously, then will I stretch out mine hand upon it, and will break the staff of the bread thereof, and will send famine upon it, and will cut off man and beast from it:

14:15 If I cause noisome beasts to pass through the land, and they spoil it, so that it be desolate, that no man may pass through because of the beasts:

14:17 Or if I bring a sword upon that land, and say, Sword, go through the land; so that I cut off man and beast from it:

14:19 Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast:

14:21 For thus saith the Lord GOD; How much more when I send my four sore judgments upon Jerusalem, the sword, and the famine, and the noisome beast, and the pestilence, to cut off from it man and beast?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 01-13-2015, 07:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Personally, I think we should thank Jesus for not making us queer. Because He could, you know.
I think Jesus reasons this way. Some of us live such sin-free lives we really are not aware of the sin around us.

Jesus planted homers around so we could see genuine God-angering sin. To further teach us, He handed these sinners over to Satan for ultimate disposal.

I appreciate all that Jesus does for us.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
SoldierofChrist's Avatar
SoldierofChrist SoldierofChrist is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS

 
Posts: 86
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: On my knees in prayer
SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.SoldierofChrist has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Love Jesus Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-15-2015, 08:46 PM

I thank my beloved mother every day for raising me under the brilliant light of our saviors glory. Thank the Lord for Godly mothers!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Ocarina Ocarina is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 9
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: godless Sweden
Ocarina is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 01:10 AM

I thank my mother every day for not raising me as a potential homosexual. The country I live in has so many perversions. Jesus save me! Amen!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
FreeFromBrains's Avatar
FreeFromBrains FreeFromBrains is offline
Unsaved trash, teenaged fool
 

How dumb can you get? Retard Posting Rides the Short Bus Democrat

 
Posts: 389
Join Date: May 2012
Location: In bed with my fag boyfriend
FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.FreeFromBrains is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 07:11 AM

I shall have to take some time to ring my mum and thank her for not making me gay.

The funny thing is that she is herself gay.

Stupid real world ignoring Christians.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
A Follower's Avatar
A Follower A Follower is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ True Christian™ Heaven Bound Real American™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Friend of Jesus Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Saved 1 Year Pro-Life Christian Love 3rd Year Bible College Touched by Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 871
Join Date: Jan 2010
A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!A Follower will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 09:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I shall have to take some time to ring my mum and thank her for not making me gay.

The funny thing is that she is herself gay.

Stupid real world ignoring Christians.
Who is ignoring reality here? If your mum (SIC) was gay, she would not have been able to have children, because she would not have had relations with your father. Why don't you do a reality-check on your beliefs?

My reality and biblical reality always match 100%, no need for the sort of cognitive dissonance you display.


Leviticus 26:15-16
And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Graeme43's Avatar
Graeme43 Graeme43 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless scotland
Graeme43 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Graeme43 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
African Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I shall have to take some time to ring my mum and thank her for not making me gay.

The funny thing is that she is herself gay.

Stupid real world ignoring Christians.
If that is you in your avatar... then you need to take a good look in the mirror and sort yourself out asap!!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Midge Murphy's Avatar
Midge Murphy Midge Murphy is offline
Forum Member, Repenting an inch at a time
Forum Member

Persecuted Beautiful on the Inside Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Homemaker Cleanest Kitchen

 
Posts: 131
Join Date: May 2011
Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.Midge Murphy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford View Post
Hallelujah!

Last week I caught my son, Mr. Whitford Jr., playing with his sister. Knowing how that sort of thing can gender confuse a young boy, I immediately sprang into action and tanned that boy's bottom!
If only Josh Duggar's mom had been so vigilant.


Paying for the sins of my hateful parents since pre-birth. Jeremiah 32:18. Now cooking for Jesus as inspired by Deuteronomy 8:3.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 03:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
I shall have to take some time to ring my mum and thank her for not making me gay.

The funny thing is that she is herself gay.

Stupid real world ignoring Christians.
The real world does ignore True Christians™. This is a lamentable truth. However, I don't think it's because the world is stupid, I think it's because the world is under the curse of Sin (Genesis 3:15-19). The real world ignores Christ because it focuses on self-love, on pleasures of the flesh, and because they have been duped by Big Science into believing they can behave as they wish and there will be no consequences because such things cannot be quantitatively measured.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 04:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme43 View Post
If that is you in your avatar... then you need to take a good look in the mirror and sort yourself out asap!!

I perceive that you have only just arrived and already have an infraction. This kind of behavior is no surprise coming from a Scot. We have seen many of your kind here before. You should know that it is illegal in the US to attempt to import a haggis. That is what we think of your national food stuff. Scotland is a place where the men dress in the garments of women, in direct violation of Gods word, and go about unwashed and smelling of strong whiskey. See Deuteronomy 22:5. Every Godly Scot, and a few of the more wretched kind, sadly, came to America a long time ago. Those that are left are so lacking in intellect and imagination that they named their whole country after an island in godless Canada.


We know there are a few isolated Christians in Scotland. They are menaced by the wretches who inhabit the place and our need to reach out to them, and others who may be saved, is the only reason we have not banned your whole country from this Godly American site.


Praise God!


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Graeme43's Avatar
Graeme43 Graeme43 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless scotland
Graeme43 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Graeme43 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 05:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
I perceive that you have only just arrived and already have an infraction. This kind of behavior is no surprise coming from a Scot. We have seen many of your kind here before. You should know that it is illegal in the US to attempt to import a haggis. That is what we think of your national food stuff. Scotland is a place where the men dress in the garments of women, in direct violation of Gods word, and go about unwashed and smelling of strong whiskey. See Deuteronomy 22:5. Every Godly Scot, and a few of the more wretched kind, sadly, came to America a long time ago. Those that are left are so lacking in intellect and imagination that they named their whole country after an island in godless Canada.


We know there are a few isolated Christians in Scotland. They are menaced by the wretches who inhabit the place and our need to reach out to them, and others who may be saved, is the only reason we have not banned your whole country from this Godly American site.


Praise God!
Yeah I made a mistake there and got an infraction. I try my best despite having the disability of being Scottish rearing its ugly head on the rare occasion. I have never eaten haggis nor intend to eat weird foods like that. I also don't wear garments of women nor drink any fermented beverages such as whiskey
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
InsanityOfAnArtist's Avatar
InsanityOfAnArtist InsanityOfAnArtist is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 8
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Somewhere
InsanityOfAnArtist is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.InsanityOfAnArtist is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.InsanityOfAnArtist is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-25-2015, 05:28 PM

Weed makes you gay


This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: If You'r'e Not Gay, Go Thank Your Mom! - 06-26-2015, 01:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme43 View Post
Yeah I made a mistake there and got an infraction. I try my best despite having the disability of being Scottish rearing its ugly head on the rare occasion. I have never eaten haggis nor intend to eat weird foods like that. I also don't wear garments of women nor drink any fermented beverages such as whiskey

You Scotch are a nation of barbarians and notorious liars. Cattle theft, whiskey making and piracy are the only trades ever ascribed to Scotchmen. Even now, you lie about wearing a kilt skirt and eating your oatmeal with offal. I can also tell you suffer from terminal alcoholism. Come to Jesus, you filthy wretch. It's that or Hell. Don't go there; it's too hot.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
duggar family

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved