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Question 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 11-28-2006, 09:26 AM

And the young men that were grown up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us; thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins.

nows, does that mean they gots them big fat pinkies or does it mean thier daddy gots a liddle tiny choo-choo? please forgives me for askin such a nawty kwestion but i needs to no.
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Default Re: 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 11-28-2006, 10:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
And the young men that were grown up with him spake unto him, saying, Thus shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us; thus shalt thou say unto them, My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins.

nows, does that mean they gots them big fat pinkies or does it mean thier daddy gots a liddle tiny choo-choo? please forgives me for askin such a nawty kwestion but i needs to no.
OK. Here is the story.

King David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat. Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat.-1 Kings 1:1-2

But King David died anyway. And his son Solomon had some people killed and became king in his own right, but he overtaxed the JOOS. You remember him. He settled the quarrel when two women both claimed to be the mother of the same boy, talked to God personally (twice), played with the Queen of Sheba and had the kingship of Israel sewn up forever. He was GOD's pal.

Until he desported himself in the company of 700 concubines and started forgetting the LORD's rules. Eventually he died of overindulgence. At this time, you must get your Bible and read 1 Kings 11.

All done? Ok. Now the JOOS are looking for a new king and we go to 1 Kings 12. Reboham, Solomon's son was made King of Israel (meaning the tribes of Israel) and the people said to him that the burden placed on them by Solomon had been excessive, and that if he would cut them some slack, they would follow him. Reboham's advisers told him to tell the people that " My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins." ,meaning that he wouldn't tax them excessively to pay for all those concubines and they would be his subjects.

But Reboham didn't listen to his advisers. He told the elders that instead of whipping them if the didnt pay, he would torture them with scorpions. Then he sent the tax man on a booty call. So the tribes of Israel, except the tribe of Judah, killed the tax man and rebelled against the house of David. They called upon
Jeroboam the son of Nebat to be their king.

Well, eventually, GOD stepped in and smited Jeroboam and his house and gave the JOOs back to Reboham as slaves.

Golly, it's just a WONDERFUL story! Doesn't have anything to do with Solomons loins, though. It was just a metaphor or a simile or a synechdochic or an allegory. Or maybe it was pataphor or tertium comparationis or a conceptual blending. Who knows? JOOS talked funny in those days.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 11-29-2006, 01:49 AM

Dang, only another darn metaphor.
And here I was thinking that there might have been an interesting story behind that one...



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Default Re: 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 11-29-2006, 08:24 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Dang, only another darn metaphor.
And here I was thinking that there might have been an interesting story behind that one...
Wait a minute. I just gave you the CORRECT explanation of a commonly misunderstood quotation from the Bible. Oh sure, it's simple enough if one has studied the Bible every day for 49 years, but I guess you and that Phil character don't appreciate the amount of time and energy we GODLY pastors invest into knowing things like this so we can save your souls!

You argue against the Bible without ever understanding the beauty and majesty of GOD's wonderful creations, and you fail to have the proper respect for those of us who live in a State of Grace and deny our baser instincts and SATAN'S TEMPTATIONS for one reason: To help YOU!

Now it seems only reasonable that after neglecting your spiritual life all this time and trying to believe instead that some pagan ritual involving astroplaning, Scientology and Dianetics are going to make you happy, you should stop and realize that only GOD can make a rose and only YOU can save yourself. By clicking on that PayPal button, RIGHT NOW! Do what the smart people are already doing! Send that money as fast as you can make it, as fast as your family can make it, as fast as you can borrow it, as fast as you can sell all of your worldly possessions.

This may be your last chance! It is even money that a bus will go out of control and smush you tomorrow, and you are not yet saved™. PLEASE THINK OF YOUR POOR DAUGHTER! We will have to explain to her that mommy is burning in HELL for eternity. We'll have to show her movies and slosh buckets of blood around to demonstrate your failing as a Christian.

I don't want to pressure you or anything though. Sleep on it.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 11-29-2006, 09:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Wait a minute. I just gave you the CORRECT explanation of a commonly misunderstood quotation from the Bible. Oh sure, it's simple enough if one has studied the Bible every day for 49 years, but I guess you and that Phil character don't appreciate the amount of time and energy we GODLY pastors invest into knowing things like this so we can save your souls!

You argue against the Bible without ever understanding the beauty and majesty of GOD's wonderful creations, and you fail to have the proper respect for those of us who live in a State of Grace and deny our baser instincts and SATAN'S TEMPTATIONS for one reason: To help YOU!

Now it seems only reasonable that after neglecting your spiritual life all this time and trying to believe instead that some pagan ritual involving astroplaning, Scientology and Dianetics are going to make you happy, you should stop and realize that only GOD can make a rose and only YOU can save yourself. By clicking on that PayPal button, RIGHT NOW! Do what the smart people are already doing! Send that money as fast as you can make it, as fast as your family can make it, as fast as you can borrow it, as fast as you can sell all of your worldly possessions.

This may be your last chance! It is even money that a bus will go out of control and smush you tomorrow, and you are not yet saved™. PLEASE THINK OF YOUR POOR DAUGHTER! We will have to explain to her that mommy is burning in HELL for eternity. We'll have to show her movies and slosh buckets of blood around to demonstrate your failing as a Christian.

I don't want to pressure you or anything though. Sleep on it.
Wonderfully put, Pastor, Brilliant! The Lord is speaking through you tonight most eloquantly Pastor.

Only the most hardened sinner or witch would fail to be moved by your words.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: 1 kings 12:10, what be the litteral inturpretashun? - 12-04-2006, 03:33 AM

AMEN Pastor Al !!

Praise God!!

The Spirit is truly with YOU!

Glory Halalulu!!
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