Evil Beaver

[Mistress Cookie]

I want everyone to PLEASE join in prayer for the extinction of the evil beaver.

I saw a TV special about this most curious and snappish of creatures, and was horrified.

1.) No other animal on Earth effects the environment as much as the beaver does. This is like the beaver is rising up on its hind legs and trying to be on a par with Man! They clear whole forrest of trees and build thick, secret dens under piles of sticks so you can't observe them. What are they doing in there??

2.) Their (unsightly) dams REDIRECT WATER! The rivers are changed because of the beavers...and God™ did not plan the landscape that way!

3.) They can swim in the freezing water without getting sick. There is something almost witch-like about this. And, they can stay under water a long time.

Suspicious.

4.) They have beady little pig eyes, horrid claw-paws, and that dirty, thumping tail they drag behind them like an oversized goiter. It is horrible.

5.) They attack!! See the 1:57 mark of this long-supressed film:

Evil Beaver
I do not like these evil creatures I frankly want them to die.

[MilitantImbecile]

Re: Evil Beaver

1.) No other animal on Earth effects the environment as much as the beaver does. This is like the beaver is rising up on its hind legs and trying to be on a par with Man! They clear whole forrest of trees and build thick, secret dens under piles of sticks so you can't observe them. What are they doing in there??

Really? I thought elephants did a lot of damage. Then there's the insects. The Pine Beetle has destroyed the BC forest industry, carpenter ants and termites can destroy your home.

2.) Their (unsightly) dams REDIRECT WATER! The rivers are changed because of the beavers...and God™ did not plan it that way!

Well then, why don't you petition your government to allow Canadian trapped furs back into your country? We almost wiped out the beaver at one point.

3.) They can swim in the freezing water without getting sick. There is something almost witch-like about this. And, they can stay under water a long time.

Yeah, its called fur and blubber.

4.) They have beady little pig eyes, horrid claw-paws, and that foul thumping tail they drag behind them like an oversized goiter. It is horrible.

Actually they're very large flat tailed rats.

5.) They attack!! See the 1:57 mark of this long-supressed film:

Yeah, of course they attack. All animals can attack.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Evil Beaver

I've heard the canukistans eat beaver tails. I'll eat pretty much any wildlife, but I'd have to be pretty desperate to eat something the animal drags through his own feces.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Evil Beaver

I thought elephants did a lot of damage. Then there's the insects. The Pine Beetle has destroyed the BC forest industry, carpenter ants and termites can destroy your home.

No, the TV narrator said the BEAVER does the most damage. If other animals did more damage he would have said so, but he did not.

why don't you petition your government to allow Canadian fur trappers back into your country? We almost wiped out the beaver at one point.

And let in even more Canadians than fled here during the Viet Nam war? I think not.

But I wish that animal WERE extinct! The government wouldn't listen now, of course, because Obamacare is all about protecting animals over humans.

Actually they're very large flat tailed rats.

Thank you for making my case for me.

They are evil.

Down with Beaver.
.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Evil Beaver

They're also the national animal of Canada.

So does that mean their commies?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Evil Beaver

They're also the national animal of Canada.

Uggh. I didn't know that.

I wish we could heard all the beavers to the Canadian border, like lemmings. Let them destroy THEIR woods, if they like them so much!

I would also not be surprised to hear that the beavers first infiltrated our country FROM Canada.

Are they here legally?

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Evil Beaver

Uggh. I didn't know that.

I wish we could heard all the beavers to the Canadian border, like lemmings. Let them destroy THEIR woods, if they like them so much!

I would also not be surprised to hear that the beavers first infiltrated our country FROM Canada.

Are they here legally?

I wouldn't be surprised, although I think animals are allowed to cross the border without documentation. Or at least that's what friends of mine who hunt close to the border have told me.

Did you know that if you shoot an animal and it runs into Canada, you can't claim it, but it's still considered part of your limit?

Fascists!

Edit: On the other hand, beaver felt make very nice hats. They were all the rage back in Victorian times.

I wonder what part is the "felt" though

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Evil Beaver

I wouldn't be surprised, although I think animals are allowed to cross the border without documentation.

This is outrageous. I bet they have bigamist families on both sides, so they can tap into two sets of government resources.

On the other hand, beaver felt make very nice hats. They were all the rage back in Victorian times.

Oh, the beaver pelts are warm, I'll give them that.

I have a beaver coat that's warm as toast.

In fact, I think I will order beaver coats for all my friends. That might cut down on the population. They've all got a target on their backs, now!

(pm me your size)

[Paragon of virtue]

Re: Evil Beaver

I don't see myself eating beaver anytime soon. It just doesn't look very appetizing. Part of the problem is all the fur. I imagine it would take a long time to remove it all. I guess those Canadians will drink MolSIN ice they'll eat anything also, so whatever.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Evil Beaver

This is outrageous. I bet they have bigamist families on both sides, so they can tap into two sets of government resources.



Oh, the beaver pelts are warm, I'll give them that.

I have a beaver coat that's warm as toast.

In fact, I think I will order beaver coats for all my friends. That might cut down on the population. They've all got a target on their backs, now!

(pm me your size)

Very nice.


Dear Brothers, I would like to point out that beaver trapping season runs from November to mid April.

In fact, this is from the Iowa hunting and trapping synopsis.

Beaver3 Nov. 3 - April 15, 2013 8 a.m. on First Day No Limit No Limit
3 Can shoot them, but not with a shotgun or speared.

What could be better than giving the woman in your life a fur coat that you trapped yourself.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: Evil Beaver

Dear Brothers, I would like to point out that beaver trapping season runs from November to mid April....What could be better than giving the woman in your life a fur coat that you trapped yourself.

They should be careful though, and "play safe" while beaver hunting. It looks like beavers are almost more dangerous than bears! I would hate for one of our menfolk to catch some horrid disease from being attacked by a wild beaver.
.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Evil Beaver

Beavers are demonic, especially talking ones. And, they are from Canadia. Thats' demonic in itself.

Beavers look funny and smell weird. I will pray that the evil beaver is wiped clean of this Earth.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Evil Beaver

And need I remind you which state refers to itself as "The Beaver State?"