[Captain James T. Kirk]

I don't know if you've watched the pilot for this awesome new show starring the greatest actor of his or any generation, William Shatner, but $#*! My Dad Says the GREATEST SITCOM EVER!!!!!!11!!!!!oneoneeleventy!!!!!!11!! LOL!
Even at age 92, the Shat just oozes raw charisma and sex appeal! He may not be cruising for space babes amongst the stars, but I'm absolutely certain he's still picking up Earth chicks while trekking the malls. ROFL!
My only issue with this fantastic show is the name. $#*! My Dad Says? No! SHAT My Dad Says!!!!!one!!!11!!!

[Phebe Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

I don't know if you've watched the pilot for this awesome new show starring the greatest actor of his or any generation, William Shatner, but $#*! My Dad Says is the GREATEST SITCOM EVER!!!!!!11!!!!!oneoneeleventy!!!!!!11!! LOL!
Even at age 92, the Shat just oozes raw charisma and sex appeal! He may not be cruising for space babes amongst the stars, but I'm absolutely certain he's still picking up Earth chicks while trekking the malls. ROFL!
My only issue with this fantastic show is the name. $#*! My Dad Says? No! SHAT My Dad Says!!!!!one!!!11!!!

I see you are quite excited.

Also, shouldn't it be that this new show oozes shat?

From memory Capt, you also spread a lot of shat over this forum.

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

I don't know if you've watched the pilot for this awesome new show starring the greatest actor of his or any generation, William Shatner, but $#*! My Dad Says is the GREATEST SITCOM EVER!!!!!!11!!!!!oneoneeleventy!!!!!!11!! LOL!
Even at age 92, the Shat just oozes raw charisma and sex appeal! He may not be cruising for space babes amongst the stars, but I'm absolutely certain he's still picking up Earth chicks while trekking the malls. ROFL!
My only issue with this fantastic show is the name. $#*! My Dad Says? No! SHAT My Dad Says!!!!!one!!!11!!!

Speaking as a TRUE Christian hetro-sexual male I have my doubts about Shatner. Why kind of man spends most of his time chasing after women? Why would he do something like that? Combine that with Hollywood and I sense a homosexual.

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt

I see you are quite excited.

Why hello there! I don't think we've met! I'm James T. Kirk, captain of the USS Enterprise here to represent the United Federation of Gettin' Funky. Have I told you about... hold on a moment...

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Speaking as a TRUE Christian hetro-sexual male I have my doubts about Shatner. Why kind of man spends most of his time chasing after women? Why would he do something like that? Combine that with Hollywood and I sense a homosexual.

For some reason I have a feeling you have a hidden laptop full of Kirk/Spock fan fiction, if you know what I mean! LOL!

Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt

I see you are quite excited.

Hi again. I'd invite you to my ready room, but honestly I'm ready no matter what room I'm in! ROFLMAO! Don't worry. McCoy has shot me full of Klingon penicillin so what say we grab some Romulan ale and let me set my phased-her to STUNNED! LOL!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Sir! Mrs. Dewitt is a happily married woman, and even if she wasn't, a True Christian™ lady would NEVER soil herself with a basement-dwelling God-mocker like YOU!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

Hi again. I'd invite you to my ready room, but honestly I'm ready no matter what room I'm in! ROFLMAO! Don't worry. McCoy has shot me full of Klingon penicillin so what say we grab some Romulan ale and let me set my phased-her to STUNNED! LOL!

Let me guess at your favorite pick-up line:

"Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

For some reason I have a feeling you have a hidden laptop full of Kirk/Spock fan fiction, if you know what I mean! LOL!

You're the one with the ripped shirt and tight black pants you pervert!

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

Sir! Mrs. Dewitt is a happily married woman, and even if she wasn't, a True Christian™ lady would NEVER soil herself with a basement-dwelling God-mocker like YOU!

Excuse me, but it's a fine basement I live in! LOL! You're pretty fine too. Want to come orbit Uranus with me?

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

Let me guess at your favorite pick-up line:

"Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Thanks! I'll have to use that one! ROFL!

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

You're the one with the ripped shirt and tight black pants you pervert!

So you noticed, huh?

[Titus Templeton]

Can someone tell me what the "USS Enterprise" is?

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Titus Templeton

Can someone tell me what the "USS Enterprise" is?

As far as I know. And claiming to be Captain, isn't that a federal offense?

From wikipedia

USS Enterprise (CVN-65), formerly CVA(N)-65, is the world's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier and the eighth US naval vessel to bear the name. Like her predecessor of World War II fame, she is nicknamed the "Big E". At 1,123 ft (342 m)[3], she is the longest naval vessel in the world. Her 93,284 long tons (94,781 t)[2] displacement ranks her as the 11th-heaviest supercarrier, after the 10 carriers of the Nimitz class.
The only ship of her class, Enterprise is the second-oldest vessel in commission in the United States Navy, after the wooden-hulled, three-masted frigate USS Constitution. The ship was once scheduled for decommissioning in 2014 or 2015, depending on the life of her reactors and completion of her replacement, USS Gerald R. Ford.[7] But the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010 slated the ship's retirement for 2013, when she will have served for 51 consecutive years, the most of any U.S. aircraft carrier.[8]
As of September 2010, Enterprise is homeported at Naval Station Norfolk, Virginia and scheduled to complete one more deployment before her decommissioning.[9] The 21st and current commanding officer of Enterprise is Captain O.P. Honors, who assumed command on 6 May 2010.[10]

Oops, it seems that the Captain is O.P. Honors. Yeah, someone's going to be in big trouble.

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Let me guess... Star Wars geeks? LOL!

[Titus Templeton]

Uh thank you for that information, Sister!
It looks like we have unmasked another lier.

[Captain James T. Kirk]

Originally Posted by Titus Templeton

Uh thank you for that information, Sister!
It looks like we have unmasked another lier.

If by "liar" you mean "awesomest captain of the United Star Ship Enterprise EVER and definitely more awesomer than that dweeb Picard or that loser Pike", then yes! I will grant you that Archer comes close, but only because he'll quantum leap my ass to 1954 if I don't say so! LOL!

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

If by "liar" you mean "awesomest captain of the United Star Ship Enterprise EVER and definitely more awesomer than that dweeb Picard or that loser Pike", then yes! I will grant you that Archer comes close, but only because he'll quantum leap my ass to 1954 if I don't say so! LOL!

Willie is that you? Face it, living your life stuck in a 3-year B rated tv show is just sad. Go back to Canada boy, you can get the mental help you need there for free.

[Higgins]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

Even at age 92, the Shat just oozes raw charisma and sex appeal!

While I believe it is your prerogative if you find that William Shatner has "sex appeal", your homersexual agenda should not be tolerated here. Further I do not understand what you can find attractive about another man, much less one as old as Shatner. Oh and by the way a quick look at wikipedia tells us that Shatner is 79 not 92 as your post claims.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

If by "liar" you mean "awesomest captain of the United Star Ship Enterprise EVER and definitely more awesomer than that dweeb Picard or that loser Pike", then yes! I will grant you that Archer comes close, but only because he'll quantum leap my ass to 1954 if I don't say so! LOL!

I don't think you are measuring up to the fine name of the USS Enterprise "captain"

USS Enterprise (CV-6) MOMENT OF FAME: flag ship at the Battle of Midway i4-6-1942 were her aircraft sunk the Japanese aircraft carriers Kaga and Akagi. VERDICT: bad ass bottom kicker.

USS Enterprise (CVN-65) First nuklear power aircraft carrier. MOMENT OF FAME: Second longest serving warship in the USN after the sailing frigate USS Constitution. Vietnam War and Operation Iraqi Freedom. VERDICT: bad ass bottom kicker.

USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-A) real vessel that served a five year mission (compare that to the 50+ year mission of CVN-65 and the 13 year mission CV-6) MOMENT OF FAME: getting it ass kicked by the much smaller USS Reliant in the movie Wrath of Khan. VERDICT Wuss mobile

Face it Kirk, CV-6 single handily fought off the entire Japanese navy from October to December 1942. The Japanese outnumbered the CV-6 like six to one and they still didn't want to mess with it. In comparison Kirk you would turn tail when facing more than three Klingon Battle Cruisers and you were hard pressed when facing a smaller Romulian Bird-of-Prey in Balance of Terror or the USS Reliant in Wrath of Khan.

You need better fiction writers Kirk.

[Captain James T. Kirk]

But I think we can all agree that the Enterprise (even in Picard's hands) could kick the Death Star's rump!

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Captain James T. Kirk

But I think we can all agree that the Enterprise (even in Picard's hands) could kick the Death Star's rump!

Yes, Star Wars. Apparently Lucas' idea is you don't need to hire good writers when you can just plagiarize their work.

Maybe Lucas should have mined more British films of the 60s for the Star Wars prequels.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

The thing I like least about Captain Kirk is the long pauses he makes. The pauses in themselves don't bother me necessarily, but what they insinuate does. When a man takes long pauses at odd moments in speech it can only be because he has tucked a marital aid into his pants in order to pleasure himself throughout the day, and he is reaching a point of particular pleasure which has distracted him from his train of thought. I realize he is just acting, and there is probably no actual device being used, but it is still the wrong message to be sending to an audience of overweight, zit squeezing virgins. Two thumbs down for William Shatner and Star Trek.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Plus you're a damned race traitor!