Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page Women's Brains? - POLL
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

View Poll Results: What can a woman do besides you know what?
She can check the oil in her car? 4 1.44%
She can balance the checkbook? 1 0.36%
She can be rational during an emergency? 13 4.69%
She can find her #@$&! car keys. 2 0.72%
All she's good for is you know what! 199 71.84%
She knows how to follow rules! 18 6.50%
She stays out of Promise Enforcers, where she isn't allowed to post!!! 9 3.25%
She can pee sitting down and scarcely ever misses the bowl. 14 5.05%
Spend three-quarters of her waking life in the bathroom doing her hair. 17 6.14%
Voters: 277. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Elmer Christianson's Avatar
Elmer Christianson Elmer Christianson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Oct 2006
Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:19 AM

I still can't understand what's wrong with a woman's brain. But I thought we men might be able to compare notes and figure out if women are good for anything besides you know what.
Attached Images
 
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
I still can't understand what's wrong with a woman's brain. But I thought we men might be able to compare notes and figure out if women are good for anything besides you know what.
You mean cooking?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Elmer Christianson's Avatar
Elmer Christianson Elmer Christianson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Oct 2006
Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You mean cooking?
OK, so I left that off, but you don't want to give them too much ammo. So be careful about moaning and groaning over her pot roast.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 02:20 AM

I chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.
I'd like to know how many times a day your husband gives you a beating, because you certainly deserve them.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Mrs. Rogers's Avatar
Mrs. Rogers Mrs. Rogers is offline
compassion personified
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Silver Tither Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 5 Years True Christian Homemaker Mission to Australia Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS TC Bravery The Lord’s Witness Wound Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Heterosexual™ One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Born again virgin Pro-Life True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Rogers will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 04:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You mean cooking?
Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.

I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.


True Christians are Perfect!

Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 04:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'd like to know how many times a day your husband gives you a beating, because you certainly deserve them.
Well, if you're talking about a certain type of beating
Men who beat their wives are barbaric is what I mean!

Quote:
Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.

I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.
Umm..they mean the act that leads to baby making Mrs Rogers.
Which might explain Pastor Al's answer.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 06:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Umm..they mean the act that leads to baby making Mrs Rogers.
Do you mean getting married in church to the man your father sold selected for you and then PRAYING for GOD to send you children?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 06:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Do you mean getting married in church to the man your father sold selected for you and then PRAYING for GOD to send you children?
No, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 07:18 AM

I thought it meant cleaning.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 07:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
No, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
robert12345's Avatar
robert12345 robert12345 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 69
Join Date: Oct 2006
robert12345 is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:30 PM

Women are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.

But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
robert12345's Avatar
robert12345 robert12345 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 69
Join Date: Oct 2006
robert12345 is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:30 PM

... And it's not cooking...
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 01:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by robert12345 View Post
Women are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.

But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
Are you a fag or something? You couldn't be more wrong. There is not one important invention or accomplishment that women can claim in the entire history of mankind. The Holy Bible is quite clear on the status of females and what they are good for.

Quote:
Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
The only major event they can lay claim to is ruining it for all mankind by doing the one thing that God told them NOT to do. Typical female.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 02:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
I always thought you were something of a godly stud on the side Pastor.

My own (Now dear departed) Husband certainly had nowhere near the stamina that God has given you. In fact, it would take practically all night to get even a few seconds of performance.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 10:13 PM

So women actually have brains..?

I guess you learn something new everyday.
I've always thought a womans head was mostly ornamental.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 10:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
Hadn't she been given a healthy dose of valium at the time?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-05-2006, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!
3 whole minutes?

What a man!




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Petal's Avatar
Petal Petal is offline
LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Lady Saved 5 Years Home Schooled Virgin Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Petal is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-06-2006, 03:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Rachael Van Gossips View Post
Hadn't she been given a healthy dose of valium at the time?
Mrs.Hellsinger, that were nothin but a viscous rumor, it not true that Mrs.Pistle tooked that vali-yum an dieds an Mr.Pistle not able to tell the differince between live Mrs.Pistle an dead Mrs.Pistle for 2 whole weeks even when he dids the lurvin nasty wiv her

so now you no the truths

Last edited by Petal; 10-06-2006 at 03:41 AM. Reason: liddle tiny typo
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Women's Brains? - POLL - 10-06-2006, 04:25 AM

Actually, I just heard he gave her enough to keep her still and co-operative.

Didn't the good Pastor say that the unfortunate Mrs Pistle met her end in an unfortunately (and oddly) placed woodchipper?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved