The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
11-25-2008, 06:33 PM
As the Birthday of our Precious Savior JESUS CHRIST rolls around this year, we cannot forget that there are secular liberals out there who are threatening our right to celebrate CHRISTMAS, and our very RIGHT TO BE CHRISTIAN!
The family unit is the backbone of America and it's freedoms! This year, fortify YOUR family with a new gun from FREEHOLD FIREARMS on the corner of Exodus and Seventh!
We carry everything from the perfect hunting rifle for bringing down the Christmas turkey to easy-to-conceal handguns for when you're in the non-Christian parts of town!
We also carry body armor, camo products, night vision goggles, binoculars, grappling hooks, scopes, tripods and much, much more!
THIS JUST IN:
The Oakley Roddler Stroller
The Oakley Roddler Stroller is perfect gift for the proud father of any real American baby boy! With solid construction and patriotic design like this, the Oakley Roddler Stroller is an absolute STEAL from FREEHOLD FIREARMS at ONLY $499
Talonite Combat Knife with Titanium Handle
This little baby means business! The Talonite Combat Knife with Titanium Handlegoes where you go, whether it's into the woods for big game Wicca hunting or into a suburban jungle to minister to blacks. Never be without back up again! ONLY $199
DEMRON™RADIATION SUIT
Do you know when and where terrorists are going to detonate a dirty bomb? Of course not! That's why you should prepare now! The DEMRON™RADIATION SUIT has been tested by the Department of Energy and proven to be an effective barrier between your True Christian body and various forms of harmful radiation that the LORD did not mean to let loose! Perfect for ministering in gay communities!
Get yours today for
ONLY $1,399!
Ladies of Landover Godly Chastity Belt
Though secular historians have laughed in our face by parading our methods of purity around in museums the world over, we True Christians still know the value of saving ourselves for JESUS. Down at
FREEHOLD FIREARMS, we are not just a gun store, we are a family store. That's why we're offering for a limited time only a line of Godly bullet-proof chastity belts designed by the Ladies of Landover in accordance with models from as far back as the 1700s! Perfect for the weaker sex who are more prone to immoral behavior!
ONLY $99
These are only a few of our select items from our Christmas Catalog! Come on over to FREEHOLD FIREARMS on the corner of Exodus and Seventh to see our entire store full of great Christmas Gift ideas!
GOD Bless, and have a very merry Christmas!
Last edited by Bob4God; 10-20-2009 at 06:49 PM.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
11-30-2008, 07:15 PM
Five Piece Lock Pick Set with Instructions
For participants of Brother Hatchet's Neighborhood Sin Inspection™ who need a little assitance getting into homes of the unsaved to save them from depravity! Find out what's going on behind closed doors! ONLY $19.99!
ASP Tactical Hinged Handcuffs
Wiccans trespassing on your property? Homosexual recruiters knocking on your door? Keep them safe and secure until the authorities arrive with ASP Tactical Hinged Handcuffs ONLY $49.99!
(For an additional $9.99 FREEHOLD FIREARMS will glady engrave your favorite Bible verse into this product.)
FOX Labs Pepper Spray
With the same name as America's only trusted news source, FOX Labs Pepper Spray stops liberals and terrorists dead in their tracks! ONLY $24.99!
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Tin Tither
True Christian™
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Posts: 234
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: pastors garage
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-02-2008, 09:08 PM
Brother you have some fine stuff there i hate to ask but i remember once you mentioned opening a pre owned section is that open yet?
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-05-2008, 03:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy-Roy Stewart
Brother you have some fine stuff there i hate to ask but i remember once you mentioned opening a pre owned section is that open yet?
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Yes, we do indeed have a pre-owned and refurbished firearms section in the store. All pre-owned and refurbished items should be safe to use and hardly ever misfire!
Start the kids today!
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-06-2008, 06:12 PM
Are you or someone you know the type who loves sports and guns?
Why not have a look at our fantastic supply of paintball guns and gear! You're sure to find something that will provide hours of fun and military experience for the whole family!
RAP4 SUN CUSTOM
This bad boy is built for war, and can be customized to your liking! RIS handguard, RIS muzzle Maru, RIS mount grenade launcher, Laser sight, 4x32 M4 Scope, RAP4 tactical handgrip, and Optional Air System!
The perfect gift for any young man in your church's militia or apocalyptic survival training program! ONLY $1200!
BT-4 Banshee
Don't let the name fool you. This little pop gun is the perfect tool for driving away banshees and other types of satan worshippers. The camo design is useful for those long nights of patroling your land for wiccans in the woods! ONLY $299!
Airowgun Edge Bow-Powered Gun
A breakthrough in stealth, this deadly accurate paintball bow outranges most other guns by about 30 feet! Never worry about running out of compressed air or CO2 again! A fine weapon to keep as a backup!
ONLY $599!
JT Full Head Shield
This deluxe shield will keep your head utterly safe from projectiles while providing ample comfort for breathing and shouting Bible verses at unsaved opponents as you riddle them with pretend bullets!
ONLY $29.99!
Manly Shield
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. - Deuteronomy 23:1
GOD intelligently designed our naughty bits to be on the outside where they are extra vulnerable to damage, and He doesn't allow victims of sporting accidents and assault and battery into His congregation! Invest in eternity with a fine protection unit for ONLY $29.99!
Last edited by Bob4God; 05-04-2009 at 08:07 PM.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-06-2008, 07:26 PM
Every man needs one of these under the Xmas tree:
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Biblical Poet, Warrior and Scholar Biblical Black Belt Jr. Pastor
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,232
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-11-2008, 12:07 AM
God bless us, every one!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-15-2008, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Ninja blowgun and Pocket knife combo. 5" closed and has a 3 1/2" 440 stainless steel blade. Includes 2 pieces of black tubing to make your pocket knife blowgun. Also includes 3 darts and a nylon pouch
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Bobby Joe should be expecting one of these in his stocking.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-15-2008, 04:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Bobby Joe should be expecting one of these in his stocking.
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Brother Nobar,
What a wonderful idea. I will order a shipment immediately!
I hope Bobby-Joe doesn't see this thread!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-15-2008, 04:39 PM
Order extra darts. That's where they get you, with the dart-accessory costs. Three would barely be enough to stop even a zombie.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS WAR ON CHRISTMAS CATALOG! -
12-15-2008, 05:57 PM
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
01-02-2009, 11:13 PM
ATTENTION PATRIOTS! HAVE YOU RENEWED YOUR LICENSES?
FREEHOLD FIREARMS would like to issue a friendly reminder to all of you who have hunting and concealed carry licenses to remind you to make sure they are up to date. The new far-left 'president' Obama will use every loophole he can to take away our rights, so be sure that you're legal!
If you need to obtain or renew any licenses, come on down to FREEHOLD FIREARMS on the corner of Exodus and 7th and we'll get you fixed up!
Available licenses are:
Duck Hunting $14.99
Deer Hunting $14.99
Lion, Tiger, Spotted Owl and Elephant Hunting *$299
Wicca Hunting $7.99
Homo Hunting $7.99
Harlot Hunting $7.99
Demon Hunting $7.99
Concealed Carry $3.99
SPECIAL NOTICE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO PURCHASED WICCA, HOMO, OR HARLOT HUNTING LICENSES FROM US:
Apparently there was some confusion over the powers granted by these licenses. The Wicca, Homo, and Harlot Hunting Licenses do not grant permission for you to kill the subjects of your hunt. You are permitted only to capture the offenders for safe keeping until the Landover Security boys arrive to take over the situation. Please stop shooting to kill!
Also, the godless liberals in our left-wing government have been harassing us recently for printing and issuing these licenses out of the backroom of FREEHOLD FIREARMS, (whatever happened to free enterprise?) and there are some new strings attached to obtaining a license or weapon unfortunately. You must now present proof of age and details regarding criminal history to obtain any licenses or guns from us.**
We are sorry for any inconvenience and are working swiftly with the Landover Baptist Church Legal Team to re-establish our Constitutional right to bear arms and practice our religion at the same time.
As always, GOD bless!
*Does not include FREEHOLD, IOWA EXOTIC HUNTING CLUB membership fees or legal coverage.
** HOWEVER, we will waive the background check procedure if you can produce proof of being a True Christian or if the Landover Head of Security knows you personally.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
02-06-2009, 10:35 PM
ATTENTION!
Next Saturday (February 14) FREEHOLD FIREARMS will be offering a lecture on firearm safety and how liberals are using it to take away our rights. The lecture will be followed by a presentation showing the dangers that violent video games pose to our youth, and then we will have a workshop on animal skinning techniques and gutting.
Be at the GOD, Guns 'n Guts hunting club east of Freehold on Moses Road at 2:00 PM!
Hope to see you there!
-B4G
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-14-2009, 03:19 AM
Hey Bob4, can you get a case of this for me from the supplier?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-14-2009, 05:59 AM
I'm willing to pay a few thou for some tiger skins.
Mamma needs a new fur coat.
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-14-2009, 05:51 PM
Brother Nobar, I think I might have a case of that stuff buried in the backroom somewhere. I think it was opened but the cans should still be good.
BTB, I am not directly in charge of processing items obtained from exotic hunting trips, but I can pass the word along to some of the folks who obtain their licenses from me.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-15-2009, 01:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
I'm willing to pay a few thou for some tiger skins.
Mamma needs a new fur coat.
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Didn't I just give your mother a fur coat last Christmas?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Moderator Arms Dealer for CHRIST Hands folded for Jesus
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Posts: 5,251
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-28-2009, 12:18 AM
COMING SOON: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A TRUE AMERICAN?
Sgt. G. Wagoner, USMC (retired), will give a lecture on what it takes to be a True Patriot in an America facing moral crisis like never before.
Sgt. Wagoner will share the amazing true story of his experience of defending America from Vietnam, and the soft boys he turned to hard men as a True Christian Drill Sergeant.
We heartily encourage you to bring your sons to this Patriotic event, at the GODS, guns 'n Guts Hunting Club east of Freehold on Moses Road.
Event begins at 1:00 PM on May 2nd.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-28-2009, 01:57 AM
Wow..killing people huh? Have fun in jail&hell. =] Your all going to be turned in soon. This site is going down.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Re: FREEHOLD FIREARMS CATALOG! -
04-28-2009, 02:19 AM
from my point of view killing should be a last resort T_T like if nothing else can be done and you must do it.. even though id only do it to protect a loved one. so umm.. yeah killing bad letting them live and putting them in jail to make their lives hell and knowing you were responsible? priceless
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