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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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uncool dude uncool dude is offline
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Default Queries - 08-31-2015, 06:33 PM

I'm sorry but can an admin here tell me how long infarctions last and how many infarctions lead to a ban? And also will I always be unsaved trash if I accept Jesus as my saviour?


As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. Proverbs 26:11
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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 06:34 PM

The only query here is you.


But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 06:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
I'm sorry but can an admin here tell me how long infarctions last and how many infarctions lead to a ban? And also will I always be unsaved trash if I accept Jesus as my saviour?
Infarctions are heart attacks, dear, and are sent by God as punishment.

I hope that helps.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Love Jesus Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 06:40 PM

If you look at your profile, you can see that you have received many infractions for your repulsive behavior but PRAISE GOD all these have expired!



Romans 7:25
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.


Now it's time to accept Jesus, start memorizing the Bible, Repent, follow Jesus' commandments and - unless you've blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:29), hope remains.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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uncool dude uncool dude is offline
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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 09:20 PM

Thanks a lot but how long do infarctions last before they expire? And how many till a person is banned? And why is there a 5 minute wait between our posts?


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 09:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
Thanks a lot but how long do infarctions last before they expire? And how many till a person is banned? And why is there a 5 minute wait between our posts?
There is no one answer to your first two questions. It depends on the severity of the 'infarction'. One good infarction could well be all it takes to get banned. If you aren't banned after the infarction then you will be able to see when it expires in your user cp. And the answer to the last question is obvious, just think about it for a minute.
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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 09:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
There is no one answer to your first two questions. It depends on the severity of the 'infarction'. One good infarction could well be all it takes to get banned. If you aren't banned after the infarction then you will be able to see when it expires in your user cp. And the answer to the last question is obvious, just think about it for a minute.
Oh Ok I understand. But wouldn't a shorter time period be a little better? And I have heard some people here have PhDs I would like to see their theses. And can I graduate to forum member I have rejected all the false cults and accept Jesus as my saviour. And the very least change my username back.


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 09:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
...I have rejected all the false cults and accept Jesus as my saviour...
Really? They cashed your cheque already?


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 10:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Really? They cashed your cheque already?
Can someone please block this god mocking pervert? He's been pilfering these forums for ages.


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
Can someone please block this god mocking pervert?...
Your cheque wasn't big enough, I'd hazard.

Quote:
...He's been pilfering these forums for ages.
pil·fer
ˈpilfər
verb
steal (typically things of relatively little value).

Pestering, maybe, but no pilfering going on.


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
And I have heard some people here have PhDs I would like to see their feces.
This seems closer to what you were trying to say.

Now stop hitting on me.


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Default Re: Queries - 08-31-2015, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD View Post
This seems closer to what you were trying to say.

Now stop hitting on me.
I assumed that as you had a PhD you would have written a thesis. Can I have a copy?


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Default Re: Queries - 09-01-2015, 02:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
I assumed that as you had a PhD you would have written a thesis. Can I have a copy?
I did my PhD in CS (specialised in machine learning) and wrote my thesis on the algorithmic optimisation of decision boundaries for non-linear classifiers.

I destroyed it as soon as I found God. Artificial intelligence is an abomination. I still work as a CS academic but I no longer mock God by trying to replicate His creation.

I strongly recommend that you shut yourself off to harmful influences like free thinking and science if you ever wish to know God


But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Queries - 09-01-2015, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
I'm sorry but can an admin here tell me how long infarctions last and how many infarctions lead to a ban? And also will I always be unsaved trash if I accept Jesus as my saviour?
Dear Demon;

This is called the INTRODUCTION section for a reason. Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus. We are not interested in hearing you whine.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
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Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: Queries - 09-01-2015, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
Oh Ok I understand. But wouldn't a shorter time period be a little better? And I have heard some people here have PhDs I would like to see their theses. And can I graduate to forum member I have rejected all the false cults and accept Jesus as my saviour. And the very least change my username back.
Wow, so many demands! What else could we do for you today, your Royal Highness?

A helpful hint: that sense of entitlement will not help you in life, dear. You're welcome.
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eggcake eggcake is offline
Unsaved trash, suspected sheep lover
 
 
Posts: 53
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Queries - 09-02-2015, 02:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by uncool dude View Post
I'm sorry but can an admin here tell me how long infarctions last and how many infarctions lead to a ban? And also will I always be unsaved trash if I accept Jesus as my saviour?
Hello!
Please introduce yourself in a new thread!
I'm looking forward to meeting you!


Donald Trump, our hero!
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Brother Enoch's Avatar
Brother Enoch Brother Enoch is offline
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Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Enoch will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Queries - 09-02-2015, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eggcake View Post
Hello!
Please introduce yourself in a new thread!
I'm looking forward to meeting you!
You're from Christchurch? I thought Jesus smote your sinful little village off the face of the Earth 4 years ago. I had no idea some of you survived and rebuilt your hobbit holes. Still spitting in Baby Jesus' eye?
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eggcake's Avatar
eggcake eggcake is offline
Unsaved trash, suspected sheep lover
 
 
Posts: 53
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Queries - 09-02-2015, 04:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
You're from Christchurch? I thought Jesus smote your sinful little village off the face of the Earth 4 years ago. I had no idea some of you survived and rebuilt your hobbit holes. Still spitting in Baby Jesus' eye?
No Sir!
I've tried my hardest to repent after Jesus taught me my lesson all those years ago!
I would never do that to Jesus!


Donald Trump, our hero!
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Queries - 09-02-2015, 04:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eggcake View Post
No Sir!
I've tried my hardest to repent after Jesus taught me my lesson all those years ago!
I would never do that to Jesus!
How many sheep are you married to? Be honest now. Jesus knows everything.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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eggcake's Avatar
eggcake eggcake is offline
Unsaved trash, suspected sheep lover
 
 
Posts: 53
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.eggcake is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Queries - 09-02-2015, 05:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
How many sheep are you married to? Be honest now. Jesus knows everything.
I am currently not married to any sheep sir


Donald Trump, our hero!
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