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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
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Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 12:00 AM
Who here wants to play Sleasepits And Sinners™, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons?
Instead of goblins and orcs we face sinners. Instead of magic spells we use prayer.
Don't worry, you won't need to roll dice or do any elitist math. As the SpM (Sleasepit Master) I'll take care of all that for you. You just tell me what your character wants to do and I'll tell you what happens.
Here are some modules we can play:
- Escape from the Synogogue of Satan
- Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan
- The Campus of Doom
- Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors
We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
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Sounds fun!
My race: White
My class: Upper
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 02:02 AM
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-04-2014 at 11:44 AM.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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Is he shiny?
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Is he shiny?
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Due to his ever-diligent application of top-quality antiperspirant, no, but around his neck is a cross so impressive it makes Flava-Flav's neckware look downright dainty. It's made from a metal so valuable, the place that mines it uses platinum as packing peanuts.
With a voice like thunder, he says:
"Patriots, in the far away land of the People's Republic of DesMoinstan, in that sweltering urban jungle, deep in that moist and humid nether-region, lurks a secret that must be uncovered. Hidden in ACORN HQ is a stolen Ballot Box that proves Sarah Palin, and therefore Jesus, won the 2008 election. Also Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. And his Iraqi birth certificate also. These artifacts must be recovered, if you fail the world will be destroyed. By which I mean America will be destroyed, and probably also some parts of Canada, since they're mostly downhill from us. Win and the universe is saved. Also, you'll get 200 Experience points, so you'll probably level up."
Edit: A note about races: Dwarves are not allowed, because God hates them. (Leviticus 21:17-23) Oompa-Loompas are okay, I guess. Monsterous races are okay, but until I get used to this game let's stick to monsters that are Biblically proven to exist in real life.
A note about classes: You don't have to be wealthy to be an adventurer. A level 1 "Blue Collar" gets $50 an hour or whatever minimum wage is, plus you get extra thief skills (because you've gotten practise stealing from your employer).
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-04-2014 at 11:44 AM.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-07-2014, 04:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
Due to his ever-diligent application of top-quality antiperspirant, no, but around his neck is a cross so impressive it makes Flava-Flav's neckware look downright dainty. It's made from a metal so valuable, the place that mines it uses platinum as packing peanuts.
With a voice like thunder, he says:
"Patriots, in the far away land of the People's Republic of DesMoinstan, in that sweltering urban jungle, deep in that moist and humid nether-region, lurks a secret that must be uncovered. Hidden in ACORN HQ is a stolen Ballot Box that proves Sarah Palin, and therefore Jesus, won the 2008 election. Also Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. And his Iraqi birth certificate also. These artifacts must be recovered, if you fail the world will be destroyed. By which I mean America will be destroyed, and probably also some parts of Canada, since they're mostly downhill from us. Win and the universe is saved. Also, you'll get 200 Experience points, so you'll probably level up."
Edit: A note about races: Dwarves are not allowed, because God hates them. (Leviticus 21:17-23) Oompa-Loompas are okay, I guess. Monsterous races are okay, but until I get used to this game let's stick to monsters that are Biblically proven to exist in real life.
A note about classes: You don't have to be wealthy to be an adventurer. A level 1 "Blue Collar" gets $50 an hour or whatever minimum wage is, plus you get extra thief skills (because you've gotten practise stealing from your employer).
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Can i be a post apolypitic mutant? I always wanted to play a mutant! Or some other kind of cross-breed. Maybe a nephalim? They're biblically true!
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,336
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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I am overwhwhelmed by this glorious apparition. I dare not say no, I dare not say anything but I fall on my knees and my white and financially relatively well-kept lips utter a silent verse in prayer.
Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word:
For mine eyes have seen thy salvation,
Which thou hast prepared before the face of all people;
A light to lighten the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.
I nod frantically. YES, YES. But I dare not make eye contact lest I be refused to join the quest.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 03:56 AM
I'm in.
Race: White
Class: Upper-Middle
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 04:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
You walk into Moe's Tavern (unrelated to the one on the simspons. This one doesn't serve alcohol either, or at least not the kind that causes drunken revelry. Maybe there's depressed drunks, but no revelery.)
As you are served some non-alcoholic mead by a rosy-cheecked, buxon, modestly and morally dressed wench, you think about your wanderlust, no, your wanderduty.
And then, he enters.
He is unmistacable, his rippling manliness emanates across the room, testoserone strong enough to strip paint with, his hair so silky it creates it's own wind to caress it. Yes, this man is so manly you fear you will become impregnated by mere eye contact. Such raw, relentless masculinity that raging bulls feel emasculated and even the firmest parts of the Washington Monument wither in comparism. Here before you stands patriotism incarnate, then paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you.
Dare you answer The Call?
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I would follow Jesus anywhere. I would do whatever He commands of me. I will never, ever turn my back on Him. I will never, ever resist obedience, nor would I hesitate a moment to think it over. My life for my Savior. My body for my Savior. My mind for my Savior. He can have my happiness, my memories, my will, and my all, for He is my All and I love Him! I love Him so much I would kill or die for Him. Kill or die. As He commands.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 04:45 AM
Race: Anything but NASCAR
Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )
Quote:
...paragon of the Red, White and Blue, Pastor Ezekiel Flint.
And he has a Crusade for you...
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Cool, never tried that before.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 09:09 AM
I'm in too!
Race - Anglo-Celt (just to mix it up a bit - this is only a role-playing game, right?)
Class - Intellectual Elite
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
07-04-2014, 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Race: Anything but NASCAR
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Just for that, you'll be an Oomba-Loompa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Class: None, but can fake it if needed (do I have to wear pants? )
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A double-amputee, legless Oompa-Loompa. Sister Mary will carry you in her handbag.
On with the role-playing:
A phone suddenly rings, startling Sister Mary, who fails a dexterity check and drops her handbag on the floor. Hard. Also, there's broken glass on the floor, causing 1d6 damage to Didymus. He loses 4 hit points. Ouch.
Zeke picks up the phone, and says "Yes....Yes....Yes....I understand....Amen". He puts down the phone and says "I've just gotten word that Obama's Birth Certificates have been moved to new locations. One is in the Campus of Doom, and the other is in the Synagogue of Satan, where the terrifying Level 5 Rabbi George Soros sits upon a vast treasure hoard. Also, if you're feeling sleepy, you can always get some coffee at Starbuckstan, but you don't have to, I mean, I'm not complaining that you're going to ignore something that took hours of work to create, it's totally your adventure."
"Where will you go first?"
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Currently going fast
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
08-21-2015, 02:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
Who here wants to play Sleasepits And Sinners™, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons?
Instead of goblins and orcs we face sinners. Instead of magic spells we use prayer.
Don't worry, you won't need to roll dice or do any elitist math. As the SpM (Sleasepit Master) I'll take care of all that for you. You just tell me what your character wants to do and I'll tell you what happens.
Here are some modules we can play:
- Escape from the Synogogue of Satan
- Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan
- The Campus of Doom
- Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors
We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
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Race: Human
Class: Artificer
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Currently going fast
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
08-21-2015, 04:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy
Race: Human
Class: Artificer
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I leave my house, see you guys and run to you, asking what you're doing.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,336
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
08-21-2015, 04:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy
I leave my house, see you guys and run to you, asking what you're doing.
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Mr. Guy,
Thank you for asking. This game was discontinued a year ago and we've been concentrating on more urgent issues, especially praying and Worship. Had you read a few previous posts in this thread you'd probably have noticed that. We recommend that you join us in praising God and Jesus!
1 Thessalonians 3:10
Night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith?
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
09-06-2019, 02:15 AM
Is the game still on? Having trouble deciding on a new game-master?
Remember that game-masters have to be good at resisting the temptation to let the power go to their heads and become petty tyrants. You have to watch out for the wrong personality types.
It's like if you're building a utopia, you should never allow in any perfectionists, harem-seekers, or architects. Those are what kill 99% of utopian projects.
But I was talking about game-masters. Petty dictatorial despots who get drunk on power because they've never had any, because even the lowest of the low look down on you, even the retard gets chosen before you in gym class, and you vowed to get payback someday, and you do not betray vows, vengence, vengence,
Not that I know anything about that, it's not like I was a guard at Abu Graib. Only the cool kids got to go there, those stuck up snobs think their dung don't smell, they didn't even run their dungeon very well. I would have tormented the inmates twice as viciously, I would have
Anyway, can I be game-master?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
09-07-2019, 05:54 PM
While I'll not risk eternity on the roll of the dice like many people, a game that can show what happens when you do not follow Gods Demands® and instead live life all willy-nilly like the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper. For the game to have real impact, especially on small children, it must be played with a level of realism and consequences. Spankings, beatings, with-holding of food and sleep deprivation are all very valid consequences to real life missteps and they rarely have long term ill effects.
I am a firm believer that all games have lessons they can teach. I remind little Timmy every day he owes me $750,000 for landing on my Railroad. I pay all the children for the work they do above their chores but Timmy sees his weekly $1.25 on the table and get scooped right back into my pocket. Six months have passed and every week, that lesson is reinforced to the little four year old along with the rest of the Hutchins Klan. Jesus Saves®
Game on!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons -
09-07-2019, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
Is the game still on? Having trouble deciding on a new game-master? Remember that game-masters have to be good at resisting the temptation to let the power go to their heads and become petty tyrants. You have to watch out for the wrong personality types. It's like if you're building a utopia, you should never allow in any perfectionists, harem-seekers, or architects. Those are what kill 99% of utopian projects. But I was talking about game-masters. Petty dictatorial despots who get drunk on power because they've never had any, because even the lowest of the low look down on you, even the retard gets chosen before you in gym class, and you vowed to get payback someday, and you do not betray vows, vengence, vengence, Not that I know anything about that, it's not like I was a guard at Abu Graib. Only the cool kids got to go there, those stuck up snobs think their dung don't smell, they didn't even run their dungeon very well. I would have tormented the inmates twice as viciously, I would have
Anyway, can I be game-master?
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Isn't there already a pitMaster? POST #1
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