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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 56
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: godless cannukistan
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-09-2014, 11:17 PM
Someone here thinks that I ride the shortbus. I've never actually ridden one in my life.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 12:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XkazzoX
Someone here thinks that I ride the shortbus. I've never actually ridden one in my life.
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Why so glum, scum? Remember, Jesus can cure you of being a retard. Heck, He can even get you a new ride. How's that sound, champ?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 56
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: godless cannukistan
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 12:45 AM
I'm not a retard.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 12:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XkazzoX
I'm not a retard.
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Of course, sweetie. You are just, um, different. What would be a nice way to say it...? Oh, I know. IQ challenged.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 56
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: godless cannukistan
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 01:13 AM
My IQ is 120. I don't think that's "IQ challenged."
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XkazzoX
My IQ is 120. I don't think that's "IQ challenged."
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Oh, of course, sweetie. I believe you are intelligent about as much as I believe that you "discovered" a plant-animal made of plastic.
Does your caretaker know that you are using his/her computer?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 01:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XkazzoX
I'm not a retard.
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Don't take a tone with me, Corky!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 56
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: godless cannukistan
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 01:31 AM
I'm using an iphone.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XkazzoX
I'm using an iphone.
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Its your lucky day, sport!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 56
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: godless cannukistan
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 06:22 PM
I'm offended by my new username.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 06:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XspazzoX
My IQ is 120.
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In base 8, maybe.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-10-2014, 10:25 PM
The 80's
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-11-2014, 12:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XspazzoX
I'm offended by my new username.
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Stop your hand-flapping and get right with Christ already!
We can do this the easy way (James 1:5)... or the hard way (Proverbs 26:3). Your choice, buddy!
And just to keep this thread on track, I am offended on Jesus' behalf by your recalcitrance.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Boone Hill but I need to get out real soon.
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-11-2014, 02:43 AM
Howdy I am watching the television set jeopardy program and they gotta black woman on it and they gotta quare fella thats touched in the head and I can't tell if the quare fella is a guy or a gal but he really makes me mad whatever he is. Have a nice day.
Increase Boone
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-11-2014, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XspazzboX
I'm offended by my new username.
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Your unsaved opinions don't add up to a bucket of warm spit in Christ's loving eyes. Go pester the Methodists.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Boone Hill but I need to get out real soon.
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-11-2014, 03:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
The 80's
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Those guys make me wanna laugh and they make me wanna punch them and having two different feelings like that makes me really mad. Have a nice day but make them quit doing that.
Increase Boone
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
09-11-2014, 04:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Increase Boone
Those guys make me wanna laugh and they make me wanna punch them and having two different feelings like that makes me really mad. Have a nice day but make them quit doing that.
Increase Boone
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There is a third feeling you should try to cultivate. Not sexual arousal, but murderous rage. Leviticus 20:13
God isn't talking about a humaine execution here, He's looking to see some bloodsport with fatal finishing moves.
Nothing pisses Jesus off more than well-toned, taut buttoxed girly-men with prominent mooseknuckles prancing around in tights to a funky beat!...except maybe people who eat shellfish...Leviticus 11:12
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
10-04-2014, 11:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XspazzboX
My IQ is 120. I don't think that's "IQ challenged."
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That must be some kind of world record for a downie!
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
10-05-2014, 12:02 AM
This uppity homofag has really got me going.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: What are you offended by right now? -
10-19-2014, 03:51 AM
I stopped at Subway this evening to get a hot, cheesy foot-long. To my astonishment, I noticed a gimp behind the counter, hobbling around like he owned the place! Must be the janitor, I consoled myself...but, no!
Alas, the wretch shambled up to the meat tray and asked what kind of sandwich I wanted, having the unmitigated cheek to make eye contact with me when he spoke...talk about adding insult to injury!
Anyhow, I was so stricken with horror that I couldn't even find the words to shout out a proper rebuke, much less articulate what I wanted on my sandwich, so I just stifled a groan and pointed to my toppings of choice through the sneeze-guard.
I stared, transfixed, as the pig-eyed circus freak scampered about, rat-like, with an efficiency obviously fueled by supernatural evil. His hands were a flury of motion that seemed to mesmerize, and it wasn't long before I found myself in thrall to his wicked enchantments.
With a supreme effort of will and a hasty prayer to Christ, I managed to break the spell and sidestepped my way over to the cash register. I forked over the money, grabbed my foot-long, and beat a hasty retreat, still wracking my numbed mind for the proper verse to hurl at the gimp on my way out the door.
Needless to say, I had lost my appetite. I climbed into the rig and fed the sandwich to my service pit bull, Judas.
I plan on writing a strongly worded letter of complaint to the manager tomorrow, complete with supporting scripture!
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