Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I was idly considering which of the Minor Prophets spoke best American, when a thought hit me. Given their stupid and superstitious belief in transubstantiation, which might have fooled the ignorant in the Dark Ages, but which today marks the Whore of Babylon as a liar, “How could a vegan or vegetarian be a Catholic?” Drinking blood and eating meat is a non-starter. The fact that neither the wine nor the death cookie are animal to start with, and yet, once in your body turn to those things is rather like God playing a dirty trick on you.

Now, I am not saying that God can’t do whatever he likes,after all, He gave Moses a stick that turned into a snake, and that must have come as a surprise, first to Moses and then to “The Children of Israel”. But God, in that case, did not actually cause a person to commit a personally abhorrent action.

We have Jesus raising people from the dead – now, if you stood to inherit a fortune, then that was the sort of “rain on your parade”moment, but then worrying about money when someone’s just bought the farm is not a Godly thing to be doing anyway.

“Yes, yes,” I hear you say, “But did not God and various prophets strike people dead from time to time?”

Well, of course He did! You either haven’t read the Bible or are suggesting that I have not – a mistake in both cases!

God strikes people dead for the most just of reasons – remember that guy in 2Sa:6:6 –7?

And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.

Uzzah touched the Ark of the Covenant and was smitten with a great smitance. He got what was coming – case closed.

But vegans and vegetarians… where are we with this one? Abel was a vegetarian and insulted God with an offering of roots, twigs and leaves –any Deity is bound to be upset by the implied “You’re a vegetarian like me aren’t you?” attitude. Abel’s action can only be seen as blasphemy: Able assumed God was like him. So when Cain had Abel buy a pine condo, it was a sort of “Divine Justice” (although from God’s leniency to Cain, you can see that the traffic wasn’t all one way.)

Nevertheless, if vegetarians and vegans want to keep the demand for, and thus the price of, prime beef down then I’m not going to stop them – God’ll see to them if they get too uppity. So what is the Roman Catholic Church doing here? Is it hanging on to a lie just because it always has done? Is the so-called Church refusing to admit the truth as usual? Is this another cover-up?

Your ideas are welcome.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

Once again your arguments are thorough and unassailable Brother Bathfire.

I will point out that any vegan cathylick will commit further blasphemy by suggesting that Jesus was a vegetable. There are some examples of human vegetables, like Nancy Pelosi, but it is only because Jesus has smitten them for sins.

Needless to say, we here at Landover Baptist have always maintained the cathylicks are not Christian.

[Romper]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

I would say vegans and veggies can be catholic, denial of Gods gift of lovely scrumptious healthy meat is just another way of announcing their homosexuality and the cathliks are all about that these days.




They cannot however be a Christian as that would be spitting in the face of our Lords instructions.


And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

I would say vegans and veggies can be catholic, denial of Gods gift of lovely scrumptious healthy meat is just another way of announcing their homosexuality and the cathliks are all about that these days.




They cannot however be a Christian as that would be spitting in the face of our Lords instructions.


And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so

I'm not sure about your post: I have given every green herb for meat seems to suggest that herbs, I suppose that means leaves and stuff, are appropriate foods. For beasts of the earth. Are you suggesting that we are or are not beasts of the earth?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

I would say vegans and veggies can be catholic, denial of Gods gift of lovely scrumptious healthy meat is just another way of announcing their homosexuality and the cathliks are all about that these days.

They cannot however be a Christian as that would be spitting in the face of our Lords instructions.

Well, Catholics aren't Christian and we must accept that there are heathens in the world and that the gullible are mislead by Satan, otherwise there would be no souls to be saved.

I am questioning the validity of a vegetarian or vegan joining an outfit that feeds its follower meat - albeit imaginary meat.

[Romper]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

I am questioning the validity of a vegetarian or vegan joining an outfit that feeds its follower meat - albeit imaginary meat.

Ah, my apologies Pastor,I misunderstood.
In my defence I guess such doublethink is bread and meat to such foul pagans.

[Romper]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

I'm not sure about your post: I have given every green herb for meat seems to suggest that herbs, I suppose that means leaves and stuff, are appropriate foods. For beasts of the earth. Are you suggesting that we are or are not beasts of the earth?

Hmmm, a quick scan of my bible tells me that apparently we are.


For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.


I am but a simple man who enjoys his steak and whisky, I am not sure if the beasts are still equal when slaughtered and cooked.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

This thread seems to be derailing.

The answer to the question of whether humans are beasts is clear. Beasts are separated from man by their not having a soul. The absence of a soul means that there is no afterlife for them. To this extent, beasts are plants.

Life must be distinguished from “soul” because “life” is possessed by all plants, animals, and humans. In humans, “life” is “the breath of life,” which God breathed into Adam and which we all inherit at some stage before birth. This “breath of life,” comes equipped with a soul – in fact the two are inseparable, save by death.

God has an infinite store of new souls in a part of Heaven. He hands these out at conception – there will doubtless be guided tours of the “soul warehouse” when we arrive there – fascinating!

As an aside, fish, of course, do not have “breath” but nevertheless, have life. This shows the link between vegetables (no breath) and animals and humans (breath) – and probably explains why scientists believe that underwater plants turned into fish, and fish turned into monkeys and monkeys turned into humans.

We must therefore see the rationale of God. Plant life, that is only life. Animal life that is animated life, and human life which is “life with a soul.”

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

The Bible is explicit regarding "beasts" and describes their anatomy. Here they're advised to watch what they're doing with their hands:

Exodus 19:12-13 [God speaking to Moses] Thou shalt set bounds unto the people round about, saying, Take heed to yourselves, that ye go not up into the mount, or touch the border of it: whosoever toucheth the mount shall be surely put to death: There shall not an .hand. touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be .beast. or man, it shall not live: When the trumpet soundeth long, they shall come up to the mount.

Little nous is required to appreciate that plants being meat equates certain plantæ with animalistic eukaryotes as well suited to eating but not, obviously, ourselves to eating one another.

Romish heretics, self declared even by their own standards of schism, whether the flora they eat has hands or whether they wolf down hyæna steaks persist with abject heresy in the face of Scripture. GOD decides what flesh is consecrated and makes clear that abstinence revolts Him. Jesus said:

John 6:55a [Jesus speaking] My flesh is meat indeed..

[handmaiden]

Re: Can Vegans and Vegetarians Be Catholic?

Vegans are the most annoying people on the planet. Being Catholic would actually expose them to more realistic thinking.

Vegans will cheerfully die rather than kill a harmful bacteria invading their bodies. However, they will not cheerfully allow the rest of humanity to eat meat and use dairy products as per God's commands.


Don't worry if you can't remember a specific verse where God says to drink milk. When He commands His people not to boil a kid in its mother's milk He is basically working from the idea that people would be using milk as food.


There are other verses where the Lord makes promises of "Milk and Honey". Honey is another thing vegans think is wrong because it is stealing from bees. I bet they think rugby is colonialism because the striped shirts are "appropriating" the bees' culture.


To answer the question, I don't think that vegans and vegetarians can be practicing Catholics. The "enslavement" of microrganisms to make wine and bread would upset them even more than supposedly consuming the body and blood of Christ.