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Pumpkin pie Sister Rebecca? - 05-03-2017, 12:02 AM

The Blood of the Lamb Estate on Apostle's Park Court has plenty of room if you're anxious to get to Freehold quickly! I do have house rules that you must be willing to obey:


1. My beaudoir is off limits! No exceptions.
2. You'll need to do your share of the cleaning if the help is off for some reason. This happens rarely. In fact, that happened last when I suspected LaShondelle of eating a slice of my Chocolate La Pierre pie, which is very expensive to make. It turned out that I had eaten it but I had to investigate before welcoming her back in my home - at a reduced rate, of course, for my inconvenience.
3. I trust all male visitors will be True Christians™ and validated as such by a senior pastor. Overnight male guests will not be tolerated, since:
4. I have a certain reputation in this town and in the church. I will not have it tainted.
5. You are welcome to use the limo with prior permission.
6. Loss of the gate key requires a $50 fee for replacement.
7. You must attend services whenever the door is open. I miss none unless I'm off traveling for business, which is frequently.


I would request that you sign a sort of lease, outlining your rights and mine. Won't you give it some thought? I could meet you for tea or for pie at one of my delightful pie shoppes (MUCH better than Sister Daisy's!) or perhaps Sister Etheldreda could use our help with something since she lost one of her help. I am just delighted at the prospect of us becoming life long friends! My personality is strong but I suspect we'll get along. Everyone here can vouch for how much purity, sweetness, and patience I have, dear! Until we meet,


Your new dearest friend and Sister in the Lord,
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-03-2017, 07:13 PM

Oh dear Sister Lamb! I thank you for the offer! Will you be available for tea tomorrow afternoon to discuss things in further detail? I have an appointment to go over my dear Tom's insurance policy in the morning, but I am free after that. If so, I look forward to meeting you and seeing if we are a fit to be roommates. *teehee it feels a little strange even saying that, does it not?*


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Default Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-04-2017, 12:25 AM

Absolutely, Dear!
Shall we meet at my pie shoppe? It's on Paul Crouch Drive across from the art museum. Would 1 PM work for you?


I'm just so sorry to hear about your late husband, darling. If there's anything I can do - ANYTHING - well, Naomi's here for you.


NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-04-2017, 12:50 PM

I shall be there at 1, and I am so looking forward to some sisterly communion! After so long in the jungles of New Guinea with nothing but heathens and one or two good pastors, I so miss Sister Glynndie and Sister SUV's weekly get-togethers.


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Pumpkin pie Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-06-2017, 10:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Rebecca View Post
I shall be there at 1, and I am so looking forward to some sisterly communion! After so long in the jungles of New Guinea with nothing but heathens and one or two good pastors, I so miss Sister Glynndie and Sister SUV's weekly get-togethers.

Darling Rebecca,
What a pleasure it was to share my pie with you! I hope you found it moist and tasty! I was just in LOVE with your attire. I forgot to ask if you made it yourself. If you did, I have a girl who can give you tips to prevent the mistakes you made.
Did you have a chance to decide which room you liked best in my home? And, if so, have you decided to accept my gracious offer of living space? I'll need to hire another maid, so do let me know soon. I trust my pool boys treated you well when I had to leave after our nap. My limo driver tells me you made it safely back home. God is so good!
Dear Sister, I would be more than happy to meet with you one day this week to finalize things. Of course, if you choose not to accept my hospitality, there will be no hard feelings.
We should really talk more about your "plans" for that young man - the horse guy. He and I had talked about a sharing arrangement at one time. We'll have to see how that fits in with our impeccable reputations. Please spend time on your knees with that whole thing in mind. I know I will.
Much love to you, my new and amazing friend!
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Reply With Quote
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Sister Rebecca's Avatar
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Default Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-12-2017, 08:12 PM

Sweet Sister Lamb, I DO apologize for the delayed response. I have been dealing with Tom's life insurance policy, and you know how we women have such little faculty when dealing with those newfangled online financial gizmos and whatnots. I declare, if I never have to deal with another insurance company I will be thankful.Anyhoooo... I did so love the second floor right-hand side, third door bedroom. The sparse furnishings and hollow feel of the rafters made me feel as if I were back with dear Tom in his punishment shed, where I would spend so many hours on my knees repenting before him and the Lord! Plus, the balcony there has such fantastic view of the town. I declare, I could spend hours with my binoculars scouring for miles around. That will come in handy for our annual witch hunt and potluck dinner. I can search from the comfort of the balcony without having to stress too much about actually encountering one of the nasty creatures.
Now that the finances are in order I shall be able to afford whatever arrangements are necessary for our comfort whilst I am rooming at The Blood of the Lamb Estate.
I can have my things delivered this evening, if that works with your schedule.
YIC


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Nunquam concumbo dutch puellus intra clunis.

numquam futuis, puer Batavica ad te asinus praesepe
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Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
True Christian™
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Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Pro-Life Best Pie True Christian™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady Prayer Warrior True Christian Homemaker Most Obedient Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer In Love With Zeke Persecuted Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion True Republican Christian Love Kirk Cameron Fan Club Stamp of Approval BFF of Jesus Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Pie Saved 1 Year

 
Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Pumpkin pie Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-12-2017, 11:01 PM

Darling Sister,
Your choice of rooms surprises me, but if that's the one you wish, that's the one you shall inhabit! We'll just have to invite people over to welcome you and I can't wait to sit and chat with you each evening about the day's events and attend services with you. Guess what, dear? I was able to purchase you a seat in the main sanctuary - right next to mine! I just knew you'd be thrilled since you've been sitting on those awful folding chairs. Your new seat is Row 1, Seat 15. You'll be able to see the sweat on Ezekiel's face and feel the presence of the Lord throughout the services.


You simply MUST let me pay for your moving expenses. I just couldn't take no for an answer, Darling. By all means move in when you can. I sent you the entry code for the gate and the alarm code for all the doors. Flint Cable has been in already to set up your TV, phone, and JesOS internet service (you'll have to set your account up with the new address). I left a guide to all the electronic gadgetry and a house map on the little bedside table. Help yourself to food and beverages if I'm not home when you arrive. Brother Billy Bob Jenkins might stop by to trim the trees - please don't let him take too much off. I am just thrilled that we're going to be best friends and I know the others will be pea green with envy.


I have three nigras lined up to interview for your personal maid on Saturday starting at 1 PM. You make the choice - just be sure they don't have any theft or prostitution in their pasts, sweetie. Usually the Freehold Agency for Colored Help is very good about background checks, but you know how coloreds can be.


By the way, I am NOT charging you any rent, but please do plan to obtain your own personal items. I hope you will be happy in your luxuriously appointed home!


Sisters Forever,
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Reply With Quote
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Sister Rebecca's Avatar
Sister Rebecca Sister Rebecca is offline
True Christian™
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True Christian™ Saved 1 Year True Christian Lady Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Trump of GOD Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A

 
Posts: 390
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Default Re: Sister Rebecca? - 05-13-2017, 12:41 AM

Well, most everything has been moved in, with the exception of the antique mirror Pastor Fred gave Tom and I when he married us so very many years ago. It will arrive via white-glove delivery service in the morning. I did tell them to be there well before noon, as the interviews of the negroes is at one. I do want it delivered and set up in my bedroom before they come, lest one of them sets their oily hands on it by mistake. Sakes alive, can you imagine having to clean negra skin oil off polished brass? I've only had to have it done once, but it took that maid HOURS. It just kept streaking and running. It was terrible.I did see Brother Billy Bob this evening. My but he's grown from such an awkward geeky school boy into a fine young True Christian™, hasn't he? But why is he doing the tree trimming himself instead of all those strapping young negroes? I even heard he had some Messicans working for him now. For pay no less! It must just be a favor to you. I think Brother Jenkins just might be sweet on you dear Sister Lamb!
Anyways, I am about to retire for the night, as it is almost 9:00 p.m. Gracious its so late! Sweet dreams my new Sister!
YIC


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