The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED! |
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Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
11-26-2006, 10:47 AM
For pleasure posters and other future roasters
-Please compliment their works just
as Jesus moves you
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
11-26-2006, 10:54 AM
.
=The Wag's Prayer=
Jesus, ..forgive me
for showing off tongue.
It's the only part of me
very well hung.
.
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
11-27-2006, 11:38 PM
Place your little fellows here.
Godly Poetry is more favored than trash.
So keep it clean please.
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God Squad
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
11-30-2006, 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
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=The Wag's Prayer=
Jesus, ..forgive me
for showing off tongue.
It's the only part of me
very well hung.
.
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And just what are you trying here, besides our patience? What exactly are you trying to say? I see through your little game. Mr. POE taster.
Mr. Poe was the Devil's spawn. He was a "poet" too.
You disgust me! More warning points!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
11-30-2006, 03:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
And just what are you trying here, besides our patience? What exactly are you trying to say? I see through your little game. Mr. POE taster.
Mr. Poe was the Devil's spawn. He was a "poet" too.
You disgust me! More warning points!
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Hanging is a capital offence.
Thank you,
Pete
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-01-2006, 07:51 PM
Seems Peter the Poet (surely know-it!)
Found himself in a tight Baptwit jam
For offending short bussers
(pedantic old fussers)
He'll soon be removed just like spam
copyright 2006
Father Maurice Lester
A Cardinal in the making.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-02-2006, 10:07 AM
Poetic Peter
dragged to the cross and nailed up
just like his namesake
Jesus weeps.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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counterp'oink -
12-02-2006, 11:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester
Seems Peter the Poet (surely know-it!)
Found himself in a tight Baptwit jam
For offending short bussers
(pedantic old fussers)
He'll soon be removed just like spam
copyright 2006
Father Maurice Lester
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Peter turned to potted meat,
the kind that's tasty-spicy,
though when he's hot, he's really not
so much like Hormel's dreaded SPAM
as Underwood's Best Deviled Ham.
1909
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-02-2006, 11:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Poetic Peter
dragged to the cross and nailed up
just like his namesake
Jesus weeps.
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Another beautiful Biblical-quality haiku!
And so fatally true.
----
If only Father Mo could write
his name without a copyright
----
Peter packed himself in brine,
a green cucumber pickle.
Profit of the Lettered Life,
you may eat him for a nickel.
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-02-2006, 11:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Poetick Peter
.
=The Wag's Prayer=
Jesus, ..forgive me
for showing off tongue.
It's the only part of me
very well hung.
.
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lord God wrathful wiv you
He gonna get real mean
if you keep channellin
your inner lezbean
Mr.Poetick Pete, there no needs have them carpet-muncher envys, you just gotta finds yourselfs a true Christain™ wife an she will work wiv what lord God gived you liddle tiny choo-choo an all!
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-02-2006, 12:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
lord God wrathful wiv you
He gonna get real mean
if you keep channellin
your inner lezbean
Mr.Poetick Pete, there no needs have them carpet-muncher envys, you just gotta finds yourselfs a true Christain™ wife an she will work wiv what lord God gived you liddle tiny choo-choo an all!
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But (sputtering) sweet Petal, I have a wife.
Go meet her at the "Ask the Sheeny" thread?
She manages our laundry,
she wrings Joo shirts by hand.
She does all this because of God's
and Peter's countermand.
We have a great big mangle
to wrestle flat the sheets
for happy nights
of darkies' flights
from Mrs. Peters' whites.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mangle_(machine)
Mrs. Peter at a whimsical moment
http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/955/shumormo7.jpg
(exposed bosoms-- caution --)
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 03:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Poetick Peter
But (sputtering) sweet Petal, I have a wife.
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i thinks your wife need to be rebukeds , Mr.Peter, cuz you sufferin from low self-esteems, an it all her fawlt . if she say your tongue bigger an better than your nawty bits , then she riskin both your salvations cuz tongue-lurve not procreeative lurve, it not gonna knock her up wiv no liddle soliders for lord Christ
if she refuse to submits to your liddle tiny choo-choo, then she be a closet lezbean an you need to slaps that bean-flickin demon outta her lickety-split the sooner the betters
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 05:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
i thinks your wife need to be rebukeds , Mr.Peter, cuz you sufferin from low self-esteems, an it all her fawlt . if she say your tongue bigger an better than your nawty bits , then she riskin both your salvations cuz tongue-lurve not procreeative lurve, it not gonna knock her up wiv no liddle soliders for lord Christ
if she refuse to submits to your liddle tiny choo-choo, then she be a closet lezbean an you need to slaps that bean-flickin demon outta her lickety-split the sooner the betters
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Petal, you are righteous
right you are, and I will sure
beat the demon from my wife.
WHOP, I start,
and she protests,
"Peter, I ain't Eye-tal-
yan."
BAM BAM I say
and she protests
"I'm no more Betty
Rubble than
you are Fred
Flintstone."
I'd better try another blow...
OK, girlie, here you go:
clack and SNICK, my blade
in rush, keen to guillotine
Mrs. You Know What
"Peter,
do I need remind,
a single blade...well, I can't much mind;
I am no Marie
Antoinette."
And I say "Yes, I sadly see that you live yet,
you hydra, you Medusa!"
Next to get the demons out
comes a spray bomb full of RAID:
Phhhhtt "Oh Peter", how she taunts,
"you missed a spot" although I sprayed
the lot of bees
and fleas in mass that comprise
my biting buggy wife.
---
Would someone else please beat her life?
I need the peace of a pieced wife.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 05:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
i thinks your wife need to be rebukeds , Mr.Peter, cuz you sufferin from low self-esteems, an it all her fawlt . if she say your tongue bigger an better than your nawty bits , then she riskin both your salvations cuz tongue-lurve not procreeative lurve, it not gonna knock her up wiv no liddle soliders for lord Christ
if she refuse to submits to your liddle tiny choo-choo, then she be a closet lezbean an you need to slaps that bean-flickin demon outta her lickety-split the sooner the betters
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Petal, you are righteous
right you are, and I will sure
beat the demon from my wife.
"Whop!" I start,
and she protests,
"Peter, I ain't Eye-talian"
"BAM BAM" I say
and she protests
"I'm no more Betty
Rubble than
you are Fred
Flintstone"
I'd better try another blow.
OK, girlie, here you go:
"clack SNICK", my blade
drops in a groove
to guillotine Mrs.
You Know Who.
"Peter,
do I need remind
a single blade, I can't much mind?
I am no Marie
Antoinette."
And I say "Yes, I see you're set,
you hydra, you're Medusa!"
Next, to get the demons out
comes a spray bomb full of RAID:
Phhhhtt "Peter", she taunts,
"you missed a spot"
although I sprayed the lot of bees
and fleas in mass that make
my bugeating biting wife.
Would someone else please beat her life?
I need the peace of a pieced wife.
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LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 05:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
For pleasure posters and other future roasters
-Please compliment their works just
as Jesus moves you
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Did Jesus send this homer in True Christian™ clothing to test us?
Poetry is for queers and goths!!! QUEERS I SAY!!!
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 06:55 AM
Thank you Brother Remy.
Recalling the last period of my life when communal bathing was enforced:
USN. I hated that.
One night, after watch, 2AM or so, I took a shower in the communal shower/shaving/lavatory room. I was shaving-quite alone and nude.
No-one wrapped in a towel then, even when the room was full.
The towels were a) too small and b) in short supply. One per day alloted.
So my towel hung on the sink. The row of sinks was in the middle of the large compartment.
It was 2AM and I was alone in my thoughts--learning to shave peach fuzz from my then-young face.
"What the F are you doing! Get a F ing towel around you!!"
It was Chief "Turkey Neck", we called him. He'd slipped in and was behind me and to one side; I had not seen him. I put the towel around me, holding it in place and turned red. He glared, turned on his heel and left.
About five years later--long after I'd left the navy and returned to Florida,
one morning I read the paper. News of a bloody murder. A man knifed and sliced to death in his bed. A sex crime. Police already had the culprit in custody: a male hustler. The victim's name? I well remembered.
John Nunnally, USN, retired.
Non fiction, sir.
---
Your adamance reminds me of "Old Turkey Neck".
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 08:02 AM
It occurs to me that a LOT of murders and heinous crimes occur in Florida. Pastor Ezekiel blames the Clintons; a murderous pair who make Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow look like a coupla tinky-winkies.
But I think it is all of the catlicking Q-beans. Now that Fidel is in HELL, they have no reason to disport themselves on our shores any longer.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 10:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
It occurs to me that a LOT of murders and heinous crimes occur in Florida. Pastor Ezekiel blames the Clintons; a murderous pair who make Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow look like a coupla tinky-winkies.
But I think it is all of the catlicking Q-beans. Now that Fidel is in HELL, they have no reason to disport themselves on our shores any longer.
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Castro is as good as gone--missed his eightieth birthday party.
I recall the Plight of Pepito, the exodus from Cuba, in 1960 and onward,
of the children--sent from homes there to a better life here.
One day at little league baseball when I was six and the team's bat boy,
I stared at a strangely dark boy my age on the other side of the backstop fence.
I hooked my hands to the wire mesh and listened to his mother, who stood a few feet behind her boy.
as Pepito also hooked his hands to his side of the backstop, offset from myself by a few feet.
Pepito stared wide eyes at the childish Anglo baseball players.
He ignored his slender, dark and lovely mother's coos, "Pepito....Pepito...Pepito",
on and on, she, repeating the name. No reaction from her boy. The camera's soft chatter stopped.
They went away.
Why, I wondered, didn't the boy turn to answer his mother?
The news crew was filming the boy, but why?
A month or so later I learned that he was a Pedro Pan child.
The local TV station was making a documentary.
Twenty-five years later I got a copy of the video documentary from the local film archive.
I asked the director of the archive to help solve a nagging mystery:
Why did Pepito ignore his mother's pleas, to turn and look at her?
"Because that wasn't his mother.
She was an actress and he wasn't named Pepito in real life.
He was a Pedro Pan child, yes, but his name was Orlando."
I have no doubt that Orlando grew up, and still lives here in South Florida,
and still recalls that day of long ago when he wanted to play ball
but could not;
when he wanted a mother, he had not.
He only had a Catholic group home to return to, a crude place located off in piney woodlands;
dormitory life and indoctrinations.
Memoir
for the most innocent of diaspora
displaced from ruined Cuba.
______________
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 12-03-2006 at 10:49 AM.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 11:02 AM
The little wetback was unhappy because he was bleeding from his anus after spending the day being buggered by every mary-worshiping papist dog in Miami. Escaping to America was the worst decision that "Pedro" ever made.
Now that Castro is dead, I have two fervent prayers for Jesus: 1, that he send each and every one of those greasy bean chompers back to the cesspool they paddled in from so that decent people might reclaim the area and make a fortune in real estate, and 2, that he rename the homer Castro district of Sin Francisco, so that decent people might reclaim the area and make a fortune in real estate.Praise Jesus.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: Pleasure Poetry Posters no.1 -
12-03-2006, 11:36 AM
Is he dead? I can't find that yet. I wish.
Reminding that these people are here only because of that devil.
A few months ago I went to a local tag agency and obtained a new license plate.
This was at a local strip mall that I never frequent anymore.
Yet there it was: the barber shop my late dad used to take me to at that time of Pepito, to get an ivy league haircut. My dad would get a flat top.
Who remembers Butch Wax? The barber shop was there. I needed a haircut.
So I went in. It had become a Cuban barbershop.
The oldest barber ushered me to a chair and noticed my new license plate in hand; a USN motif Florida plate; I'm ex-navy.
So, it turned out, he was a navy veteran too! He'd been in Batista's navy,
and that's where he became a barber, cutting hair aboard the Jose' Marti, years before Castro's take-over.
I said I'd make a poem for him. He owns the barber shop. He is 73 years old and works for his wages on every day but Sunday.
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