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Default How hard can I beat my daughter if she's pregnant? - 04-24-2014, 09:56 AM

Friends,

I have a few discipline questions regarding my teenage daughter, who has just found out she is with child.

Obviously I don't want to punch her too hard in the stomach, and have her lose my grandchild before it's even born, but she is really grating on my nerves here.

So I guess what I want to know is how hard I can beat her, and what body parts are safe to hit her without harming the baby too much? I'm guessing I should concentrate on the limbs? Maybe slam her arm in a door or stamp on her leg hard?

At the moment I'm just aiming for the head, though I know I probably have to be careful in case I hit her too hard and she falls over, as the fall could harm the baby too? Right? I wonder if there are any books available on the subject?

Yours in Christ,

Pastor John Dean Percy
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Default Re: How hard can I beat my daughter if she's pregnant? - 04-24-2014, 10:25 AM

Fortunately for you I wrote an insightful article on the matter: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth! It must be your lucky day!
So, instead of avoiding the belly, you should actually aim for it! This way Proverbs is satisfied and the unborn child is protected from Hell.

Saving two souls with one hit. I am certain this will make Jesus smile in Heaven. If it's twins you can even save three souls with one hit!

Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: How hard can I beat my daughter if she's pregnant? - 04-24-2014, 11:03 AM

True Christian scientists have proven that beating the belly does not cause a miscarriage, so beat as hard as you like! The miscarriages are usually due to the sins the woman has committed resulting in the beating, which may seem like the beating is the cause but it is always the sin.

Do not forget to make her suffer emotionally too. Call her fat and fat-related names and make sure she feels miserable the entire time. This constant suffering is what God intended for us ladies. This shall save her soul and most likely end up in a healthy (albeit sinful) baby.

I'll pray that your daughter is in constant agony during her pregnancy and she has a long labor which will result in a Soldier for Christ!


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: How hard can I beat my daughter if she's pregnant? - 04-25-2014, 04:51 AM

An unmarried teenager who found herself in the family way last week told her parents that she had never known a boy sexually. Instead, she blamed the pregnancy on a ghost. She was immediately slapped senseless by her annoyed parents and sent to me, her Pastor, who threw her out of the church. "The whole idea of a spirit diddling with a young girl is such a preposterous, lewd proposition," said I. "Frankly, I don't know where this little scallywag got the idea for such an outrageous, bald-faced lie."


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: How hard can I beat my daughter if she's pregnant? - 04-25-2014, 06:42 AM

What sort of human being could possibly believe that an imaginary, supernatural entity impregnated a virgin. , anyone who believes that is obviously crazy and is going to Hell


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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