Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 03:46 AM
Thank you Pastor Zeke. On behalf of my dear, dear brother Jim, I would like to sincerely apologize for his inappropriate posts.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 03:46 AM
Thank you Pastor Zeke! My air-headed lady brain was getting overloaded by this very graphic conversation about certain male issues!
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 03:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Thank you Pastor Zeke! My air-headed lady brain was getting overloaded by this very graphic conversation about certain male issues!
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
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Unfortunately Brother Machine can't confine his lewdness to himself and his poor lady in his dungeon. Is it any wonder that his signature contains warnings!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 03:55 AM
Oh my goodness!
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 03:56 AM
Mr. Farmer, maybe could you move this forum to the men's section, thus, as you pointed out, Mr. Faith Machine's "lewdness" is out of the delicate ladies' sight? My husband said that he really doesn't want to have to give me a slap over the head if I faint or vomit all over the table because of this forum...
Meekly and feeling rather ill,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Mr. Farmer, maybe could you move this forum to the men's section, thus, as you pointed out, Mr. Faith Machine's "lewdness" is out of the delicate ladies' sight? My husband said that he really doesn't want to have to give me a slap over the head if I faint or vomit all over the table because of this forum...
Meekly and feeling rather ill,
Elizabeth
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I have now done so, Mrs Elizabeth. I will pray your husband sees fit not to slap you over the head, regardless.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 04:13 AM
Bless your heart, Mr. Farmer! Praise the Lord for His goodness and Him placing you here as a gentleman of the Lord to spare the womenfolk from lewd thoughts. My husband is a good man, and will slap me, or not, depending on what he thinks is best. Aren't I blessed to have married such a godly leader?
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 04:33 AM
With luck, Mrs Johnson, it will have provided your husband with ideas, so that you will no longer have to endure impregnations - it will make the lives of both of you so much easier. I have sent you a PM which should illustrate to your husband how it must feel for you. I would have posted it here, but the language is a little too strong for ladies.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 708
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Pajala, Sweden
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-28-2014, 07:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
Biblical reference?
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Doing it with your own hand is HOMER SEX!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 04:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho
Doing it with your own hand is HOMER SEX!!!
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Yes, but let me pose this rhetorical question:
Would it be any less gay if an electronic milking machine was employed...
...provided the controls were manipulated by one's own wife?
Please don't answer...satan doesn't need any more grist thrown into his mill.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Yes, but let me pose this rhetorical question:
Would it be any less gay if an electronic milking machine was employed...
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Then there's a machine designed in slant land just for the purpose:
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
Forum Member
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 09:14 PM
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Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
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Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 09:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
Then there's a machine designed in slant land just for the purpose:
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It looked like there was teeth in that hole!!!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 10:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon
It looked like there was teeth in that hole!!!
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Now that you mention vagina dentata, I'm surprised there's nothing in the KJV about it. Seems it would fit perfectly.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 267
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: True Southern Belle in Richmond, VA
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 10:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
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Why would you post such a homosexual thing on this Godly Forum? Are you gay?
Baptist Bethany (Not a Cherry Picker)
Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.
***There are 613 commandments given in the Old Testament***
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
Forum Member
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-29-2014, 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaptistBethany
Are you gay?
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Oh Frigga no!
Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-30-2014, 03:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Oh Frigga no!
Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
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So you admit to being a degenerate. Nice. Do you know that Jesus is watching you much rugs and commit perversions?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-30-2014, 04:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
Oh Frigga no!
Why limit myself to just women when I can choose between women and men?
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It's very rare that I make this offer, young lady. I am inviting you to stay with me, my wife and (girl) child for 6 months. We will show you what it means to be a True Christian™ and the rewards that come with accepting Jesus Christ deep inside you. We will charge you nothing for this once in a lifetime opportunity, and ask only only that you help my wife with household chores as she approaches the birth of our son. What say you? Will you accept?
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WARNING: Canuckistani feminazi! Approach with caution!
Forum Member
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-30-2014, 03:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
So you admit to being a degenerate. Nice. Do you know that Jesus is watching you much rugs and commit perversions?
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I always figured he's a voyeur.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
It's very rare that I make this offer, young lady. I am inviting you to stay with me, my wife and (girl) child for 6 months. We will show you what it means to be a True Christian™ and the rewards that come with accepting Jesus Christ deep inside you. We will charge you nothing for this once in a lifetime opportunity, and ask only only that you help my wife with household chores as she approaches the birth of our son. What say you? Will you accept?
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves! -
12-30-2014, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callisto
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You are a very rude young lady. If I had my way, you would receive a mouthwash of bleach and then a spanking done my husband. You were extremely rude to Brother Farmer...how could you? "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men." Titus 3:2 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and [be] ready always to [give] an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1 Peter 3:15
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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