Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper
Reload this Page Does FM Have a New Van?
The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-01-2015, 04:06 AM

I hate to have to bring this up in public, but here goes. Ever since buying a summer home in Freehold, I've been complaining to Mayor Hold about the eyesore that is Brother Machine's van. I've even offered to lend Brother M one of my Hummers until he can afford a decent ride. Yet every Sunday morning, I was struck with the sight of his van parked near the Sunday School plaza.

[IMG][/IMG]

However, last Sunday the van wasn't anywhere to be seen. Finally, I thought, Brother Mayor Hold had finally had a talk with Brother M.

And yet yesterday morning, while taking my morning stroll, what did I see parked across the street from the Low Income Sunday School/Laundry Service Center?

[IMG][/IMG]

Coincidence? I think not!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Youth Minister Harry's Avatar
Youth Minister Harry Youth Minister Harry is offline
Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Babysitter Touched by Jesus Bear Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Proud Niglet Sponsorer Outreach preacher Teabag Patriot Super Soaker Baptism Award Jailed for JESUS Home Schooled Punched the most queers True Heterosexual™ Prayer Warrior Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tagging for Jesus Roper Crossburn Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-01-2015, 08:54 AM

I offered to buy Brother Faith Machine's van two weeks ago, but he wouldn't dream of it. Then he asked me to sell him my ice cream truck. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was starting another youth outreach ministry! I told him I would bend over backwards to help him with that. He looked at me funny and said, "I know". What in the world has gotten into him lately?


Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
-Youth Minister Harry Lester
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-01-2015, 09:00 AM

Thank God that disgusting truck with the "Free Candy" is gone. With that socialist Bernie Sanders rising in the polls we can hardly set a bad example to our children with messages of socialism. We can't afford to produce another generation like the present entitled, inept, and insufferable Millennials - to say nothing about another Obama style communist in office.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-01-2015, 09:18 AM

That reminds me, has anyone heard from Cookie?


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-01-2015, 11:31 PM

I think it is high time someone table a motion at the next city council meeting and propose that all vehicles within the city limit be no more than 3 years old, with the exception of fully restored classic vehicles of course.

Furthermore, this whole harebrained notion of 'self expression' by painting nonsensical messages on the sides of vehicles needs to stop. Stencil your company logo on the vehicle, for goodness sake, or get a professional detailer to do it for you. This town deserves aesthetics and good taste. Does anyone want God to drop in on us only to have to have Him look at crudely painted signs and rusty rattletraps?


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-02-2015, 01:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
I think it is high time someone table a motion at the next city council meeting and propose that all vehicles within the city limit be no more than 3 years old, with the exception of fully restored classic vehicles of course.

Furthermore, this whole harebrained notion of 'self expression' by painting nonsensical messages on the sides of vehicles needs to stop. Stencil your company logo on the vehicle, for goodness sake, or get a professional detailer to do it for you. This town deserves aesthetics and good taste. Does anyone want God to drop in on us only to have to have Him look at crudely painted signs and rusty rattletraps?
I agree with you on the nonsensical messages. However, having Jesus stickers and logos and whatnot is in good taste, obviously:









Doesn't that last car belong to one of our Godly Pastors?
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-02-2015, 02:27 AM

But Sister, that is Divine expression, not self expression. Two entirely different things.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Mooselimb Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-02-2015, 05:36 AM

This is where you get the real candy!


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Sons of Liberty Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-03-2015, 02:11 AM

Whenever I spoke to Brother Machine about his van he would tearfully tell me how much he loves little children and how much they love his candy.

As a compromise, he has updated both the van and the quality of his candy.




Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Harsha Shah's Avatar
Harsha Shah Harsha Shah is offline
Curry slurping demon
 

Hellbound Heathen Cherry-picker Bleeding heart liebral Rigged election Uppity Woman/Enabler

 
Posts: 323
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless Scotland
Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.Harsha Shah has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Smile Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-08-2015, 09:28 AM

Yes, it is Harsha Shah here. I hope I am not offending anyone but I am just thinking that Mr. Machine is a very kind man and he would be deserving of a nice car, as well! Yes. I am thinking that you christians mostly use your motorcars to go to Church and to have sermons, apparently Mr. Machine is also doing some delivery of free samples of sweets. Yes, I think that he is very sweet, too (I hope this is not offending). This is showing everyone that regardless of the religion, people can embrace non-violence and goodwill towards all creatures. Yes.


"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Jim Farmer's Avatar
Jim Farmer Jim Farmer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Tell her once True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Kangi 2014 Witch Hunt Award 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Mower Persecuted Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Hands Off Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-09-2015, 09:53 AM

Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!


Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-10-2015, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!
Possibly, but I doubt it. I glanced in a few times, just to see what kinds of duffel bags he might have in there. All I ever saw was duct tape, rope, and pillowcase-sized burlap sacks. Come to think of it though, I never saw any actual candy.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Youth Minister Harry's Avatar
Youth Minister Harry Youth Minister Harry is offline
Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Babysitter Touched by Jesus Bear Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Proud Niglet Sponsorer Outreach preacher Teabag Patriot Super Soaker Baptism Award Jailed for JESUS Home Schooled Punched the most queers True Heterosexual™ Prayer Warrior Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tagging for Jesus Roper Crossburn Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Youth Minister Harry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-10-2015, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Possibly, but I doubt it. I glanced in a few times, just to see what kinds of duffel bags he might have in there. All I ever saw was duct tape, rope, and pillowcase-sized burlap sacks. Come to think of it though, I never saw any actual candy.
It's perfectly normal for a candy-based ministry to carry tools of the trade. I teach all my boys to always carry rope with them, just in case the Lord calls upon you to bind anything for Him. The duct tape can be used to fix just about any situation you might find yourself mixed up in. And the burlap bag was empty because he gave away all the bulk candy that came in it. Brother Faith Machine's been very busy with his outreach! Praise Jesus!


Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
-Youth Minister Harry Lester
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-10-2015, 05:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry View Post
It's perfectly normal for a candy-based ministry to carry tools of the trade. I teach all my boys to always carry rope with them, just in case the Lord calls upon you to bind anything for Him. The duct tape can be used to fix just about any situation you might find yourself mixed up in. And the burlap bag was empty because he gave away all the bulk candy that came in it. Brother Faith Machine's been very busy with his outreach! Praise Jesus!
Amazing how we professionals pack accordingly, isn't it? As a Christian Psychotherapist, I keep in my trunk a mixture of ketamine and xylazine for use on women who are prone to hysteria, various chains & restraints for self-abusive patients, lockable panel gags with 6 inch rubber buffers to prevent then from chewing off their tongues, and of course a 60" waterproof duffel bag that can carry up to 110 lbs, because frankly, who needs to carry a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ anything over five feet t̶a̶l̶l̶ long and weighing more than 110 pounds anyway?


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Esther B. Esther B. is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Quiverful

 
Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.Esther B. has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-11-2015, 02:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!
Samuel and I were wondering the exact same thing, Brother. Samuel thinks that someone should take a look at Brother Machine's old van.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Does FM Have a New Van? - 09-14-2015, 09:13 AM

click image for typical interior
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harsha Shah View Post
Yes, it is Harsha Shah here. I hope I am not offending anyone but I am just thinking that Mr. Machine is a very kind man and he would be deserving of a nice car, as well!
And here's some literature to go with it
Name:  OM2.jpg
Views: 83
Size:  392.9 KB
& click header icon for xlnt bleating lamb with rotating head



Quote:
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/kangaroo.html
As you can see, the logic is inescapable -- Kangaroos must have once lived in the Middle East. Any claim that they didn't must then be treated as refuted. But still there are questions that are left to be investigated. For instance: why are there no kangaroos left in the Middle East? how come we do not hear of kangaroos in the histories of the region? and how did the kangaroos get to Australia?

First, let me point out that the word "kangaroo" was coined by the Australian Aborigines after both they and the kangaroos had migrated to the Australian continent (which, at the time, was still indirectly connected to the Middle East, see inset). The word kangaroo means "I don't know" in Aboriginese. The story goes that when the first modern Europeans arrived in Australia, they saw a large hopping animal and asked one of the natives what it was called. "Kangaroo [I don't know]," he responded. It is understandable that he couldn't name the animal since his people had lost all knowledge of their Biblical heritage and thus would not have known the name given to the animal by Adam (Gen 2:19). Obviously, the peoples of the Middle East would not have called these animals by the name "kangaroo", and so the naive assertion of Biblical skeptics that since the word "kangaroo" is absent from the ancient Middle East so too must the kangaroo be, is patently absurd.

That kangaroos are not mentioned in the Genesis account of the Flood, either by name or description, is unsurprising due to the great number of kinds of animals that were in the Ararat area at the time. What's a kangaroo or two among a great throng of pandas, mastodons, velociraptors, and giraffes? It is also likely that the kangaroos only spent a relatively short time living in the Middle East, needing to leave with greater haste than other animals in order to reach their appointed destination before the breakup of Pangaea (see next section).
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved