Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Easter is About Jesus - Period!
Reload this Page Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
Easter is About Jesus - Period! A seasonal forum where we celebrate the true meaning of Easter. No bunnies allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-06-2015, 06:32 AM

Seriously!

What better way to thumb our noses at the Christ-killing joos? He is Risen®, so IN YOUR FACE!!...amen?

This Easter, my family and I will be glutting on bacon-wrapped ham that has been deep fried in hog lard, and slathered in pork sausage gravy.
I am all atwitter with anticipation!

So eat til it hurts, brethren...don't stop until the pork pack starts backing up into your nasal cavity. If the spirit moves you, set up camp in front of a jooish temple and make a scene.

Let's show Jesus how much we care!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Best stoning bucket A for Effort One Year/1000 posts Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico 2015 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-07-2015, 12:32 AM

My husband just killed a small hog (200 lbs) and I've cooked it for dinner. For Easter, there's going to be pork everywhere. And once my husband has eaten all he can, and he's ordered me to as I can, he's leading all of my entire church out to vomit all over the local mosque. Then we will do round two all over the temple. And then, since we will all have room in our stomachs', we'll end of the night with large pork, ham, bacon, and lard pies. I'm using dried pork as a crust and will be happy to share over private message or the ladies' forums my recipe, if anyone is interested.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-08-2015, 02:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
My husband just killed a small hog (200 lbs) and I've cooked it for dinner. For Easter, there's going to be pork everywhere. And once my husband has eaten all he can, and he's ordered me to as I can, he's leading all of my entire church out to vomit all over the local mosque. Then we will do round two all over the temple. And then, since we will all have room in our stomachs', we'll end of the night with large pork, ham, bacon, and lard pies. I'm using dried pork as a crust and will be happy to share over private message or the ladies' forums my recipe, if anyone is interested.
Your grace is amazing, Sister Johnson. May I suggest, though, that you walk that extra mile for Christ and have your entire congregation defecate on the front steps of those vile institutions the day after Easter?
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Best stoning bucket A for Effort One Year/1000 posts Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico 2015 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-08-2015, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Your grace is amazing, Sister Johnson. May I suggest, though, that you walk that extra mile for Christ and have your entire congregation defecate on the front steps of those vile institutions the day after Easter?
Of course, I'll mention it to my husband. Jesus walked thousands of steps for me, I'll happily take another one for Him.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-08-2015, 02:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson View Post
Of course, I'll mention it to my husband. Jesus walked thousands of steps for me, I'll happily take another one for Him.
Amen. He carries our burden for us...why shouldn't we drop our load for Him?
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Bjorn Jensen's Avatar
Bjorn Jensen Bjorn Jensen is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Honorary Ex-Eskimo True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus Saved 1 Year Public Awareness Medal TC Bravery Pro-Life Christian Love 2014 Witch Hunt Award Anti-sodomy 2015 Witch Hunt Award Jailed for JESUS Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Ex-Scandinavian Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bjorn Jensen will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-08-2015, 04:58 AM

Me too, I'm going to eat pork the whole week and I'm especially going to enjoy it on Good Friday, just to have a dig at the paptists at the same time! Could it get any better than angering PETA, the joos, the mooselimbs and the paptists at the same time by just eating delicious meat?

And don't forget to put these in everything you drink

Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Alex_Reynolds's Avatar
Alex_Reynolds Alex_Reynolds is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2015
Alex_Reynolds is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Question Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-10-2015, 09:36 AM

I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Jim Farmer's Avatar
Jim Farmer Jim Farmer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Tell her once True Christian Caucasian True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Kangi 2014 Witch Hunt Award 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Mower Persecuted Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Hands Off Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jim Farmer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-10-2015, 10:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_Reynolds View Post
I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it.
A good question, Alexis, if you have never read the Bible, which I assume you haven't. Quite simply, God doesn't love everyone he creates. God hates liars. He hates adulterers. He hates fornicators. He hates sodomisers. He hates lots of people. It doesn't say in the Bible that he loves everyone. That's what the fluffy bunny churches would have you believe. They want you to think that God loves everyone so that you'll give them money believing that you'll go to Heaven. Those churches are frauds - they are false churches. Making promises that they know are false and that they can never be brought to account upon in a court of law.

Now, go on over to the Introduction section and tell us all about your journey with God, and which false church you attend.


Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Des's Avatar
Des Des is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound True Christian™ Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Guns, Guts and GLORY! Tell her once Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Sons of Liberty Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A True Christian Nerd Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars

 
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Des will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! - 03-10-2015, 10:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_Reynolds View Post
I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it.
It disgusts me how a homer reads the word 'pork' and his mind automatically goes to sodomy.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved