[eliot mayfield]

It struck me as I was watching the secular news that it’s not just who you are, but those around you. Suppose I were on an airplane with a couple of homers, some mislamatoids, maybe a cathyliker or three and even a Methodist. You get the picture; sometimes you associate with Hellbound scum when you just can’t help it. So God wants to teach some oxygen thieves a lesson. God in his never-ending wisdom and love decides it’s time for a planeload of heathens to crash into a mountain. What if a True Christian ™ is on that plane?
Well, I’m sure God looks forward to welcoming them to Paradise. That’s the price one has to pay for associating with such rubbish. This is why our Godly President has his own plane, not like the British leader. Baptists know better.

A tornado comes to town to clean out another trailer park. Tornadoes are pretty good about not getting Baptists, but if you get in the way, well God can only be so careful. I could list example after example, that’s why you should surround yourself with other True Christians ™. You should found a True Christian ™ community. This is vital. Now, don’t start packing your bags and heading to Landover. We don’t just let anybody move into our town. No, don’t even think about it unless invited. Large tithers can get “line jump” privileges. But, this is good for you. It means you have to get off your knees and praying, and out on the streets braying! Like Samson who took a jawbone of an ass and slew a thousand, you get out there and convert your community into a safe place for your children and yourself. Do you want your kid on a school bus full of liberals, and two daddy families, or on a nice safe True Christian ™ school bus? Easy choice. I mean, you don’t want to associate with people with lice, so why associate with people who are going to burn in Hell?

But you can’t do that if your town board and school board is full of liberal atheist gay agenda freaks, can you? No you can’t. A good Christian soldier draws up a battle plan at this point. A battle against Satan himself. But fear no evil, because the Lord is thy rod and thy staff and he protects you!

Now, there just are some towns that are doomed to Hell. There’s nothing you can do about it except leave. If you’ve done your duty and witnessed until you lost your voice, petitioned, marched, protested, and even ran for office and nothing has changed, it’s time to pack up and start your own town. Land is really cheap in many rural areas thanks to past Godly President Number One, Ronald Reagan. Now you can get together with like-minded people and build your own True Christian ™ community from the ground up. Have your own schools and there won’t be a heretic in the building. Then you’ll know your kids are safe and sound in the hands of Baptists like yourself.

Beyond that we need to come together and get some Christian only airline. I do not like being on a plane with the hell-bound, it makes me nervous. No Christian has ever flown a plane into a building. No, we have to assert ourselves. We are fighting for our life and that of our children. We owe it to the children to make the world safer. Write to and protest in front of airlines. Someone will listen!

When I flew over here to Czechoslovakia, I did the best I could do. I even knew there were commies on board. Once we got airborne I whipped out my KJV1611 and went to work on my seatmate. I witnessed and even got others nearby listening. I tried my best to make them see the fires in Hell. I handed them some Chick Tracts. I even managed to talk with a witness and beg him to take Jesus into his heart. God must have seen me, because our plane didn’t crash. No, you can bet that not in one fatal airplane crash was there a True Christian ™ ministering to the passengers. Think about it!

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

When I flew over here to Czechoslovakia, I did the best I could do. I even knew there were commies on board. Once we got airborne I whipped out my KJV1611 and went to work on my seatmate. I witnessed and even got others nearby listening. I tried my best to make them see the fires in Hell. I handed them some Chick Tracts. I even managed to talk with a witness and beg him to take Jesus into his heart. God must have seen me, because our plane didn’t crash. No, you can bet that not in one fatal airplane crash was there a True Christian ™ ministering to the passengers. Think about it!

Hmmm, let's look at what God has to say about the issue:
Genesis 18:22 And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.
23 And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
24 Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
25 That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
26 And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
27 And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD, which am but dust and ashes:
28 Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.
29 And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.
30 And he said unto him, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.
31 And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.
32 And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

So, if there's some wicked folk God wants to smite, but doing so would mean killing ten Christians, He, in His infinite mercy, will hold back. Less than ten is acceptable collateral damage. Of course, an aeroplane is smaller than a city, so if the ratio is ten Christians to a city, you might be able to get away with less than ten Christians on a plane. Still, I'd recommend travelling with at least five Brothers in Christ at all times, just to be on the safe side.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Hmmm, let's look at what God has to say about the issue:
Genesis 18:22 And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.
23 And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
24 Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
25 That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
26 And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
27 And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD, which am but dust and ashes:
28 Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.
29 And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.
30 And he said unto him, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.
31 And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.
32 And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

So, if there's some wicked folk God wants to smite, but doing so would mean killing ten Christians, He, in His infinite mercy, will hold back. Less than ten is acceptable collateral damage. Of course, an aeroplane is smaller than a city, so if the ratio is ten Christians to a city, you might be able to get away with less than ten Christians on a plane. Still, I'd recommend travelling with at least five Brothers in Christ at all times, just to be on the safe side.

An airline like this could make some serious money for Landover Baptist Church's Worldwide Tropical Ministry©. We could "ensure" that a minimum of 5 True Christians™ will be on each flight, and charge huge rates to unsaved heathens for guaranteed protection insurance. All manner of joos and mudslime terrorists would cough up triple fare, just to fly under the assumption that Jesus would spare them during the flight because of our TC™ presence....But of course, Jesus works in mysterious ways.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Brothers, there's another reason why I'd want to fly on a True Christian™ airline. Have you seen the "people" (and I use the term very loosely) whom secular airlines hire as their flight attendants? I hate having to watch the likes of Lonnie Latham, Ted Haggard, and Paul Barnes prancing up and down the aisles in red, white, and blue polyester shirts, handing out watered-down drinks and impossible-to-open packages of pretzels.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou

Brothers, there's another reason why I'd want to fly on a True Christian™ airline. Have you seen the "people" (and I use the term very loosely) whom secular airlines hire as their flight attendants? I hate having to watch the likes of Lonnie Latham, Ted Haggard, and Paul Barnes prancing up and down the aisles in red, white, and blue polyester shirts, handing out watered-down drinks and impossible-to-open packages of pretzels.

In those rare cases when Landover's own Learjets are unavailable, I always book with US Airways. They are the only airline company that's officially boycotted by Muslims.




For details, see Ann Coulter's WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOUR FLIGHT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE?