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Default Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 07:06 AM

What does a Baptist diet consist of? Does eating Vegetables damn one to hell? Is the bad reputation Saturated and Trans fat get part of the Liberal Vegan homo conspiracy?
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 07:10 AM

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Originally Posted by demoncrat View Post
What does a Baptist diet consist of? Does eating Vegetables damn one to hell? Is the bad reputation Saturated and Trans fat get part of the Liberal Vegan homo conspiracy?
Why are you still on moderation?


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 07:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Why are you still on moderation?
Is that a rhetorical question?
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OPCjustin (On Moderation) OPCjustin is offline
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 11:51 AM

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Originally Posted by demoncrat View Post
What does a Baptist diet consist of? Does eating Vegetables damn one to hell? Is the bad reputation Saturated and Trans fat get part of the Liberal Vegan homo conspiracy?

A bit of LSD. These people are crazy
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eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 12:55 PM

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Originally Posted by OPCjustin View Post
A bit of LSD. These people are crazy
No, we are not the LDS!!!!! I assume you made a typo. They are indeed crazy. We are baptists. We follow the Bible. We are not crazy.


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5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 01:57 PM

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Originally Posted by demoncrat View Post
What does a Baptist diet consist of? Does eating Vegetables damn one to hell? Is the bad reputation Saturated and Trans fat get part of the Liberal Vegan homo conspiracy?
Well, the Holy Bible has some guidance here. If you weren't an unsaved wad of filth, you might have known that. Sister Sue Vera has a great old family recipe for Ezekiel Dung Cakes, as outlined in the book of my namesake.

Ezekiel 4:12 "And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight."

I'm sure she'd be happy to whip you up a batch, out of Christian compassion.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 06:33 PM

How about Baptist Bacon wrapped Pork loaf?
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-09-2007, 07:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Sister Sue Vera has a great old family recipe for Ezekiel Dung Cakes, as outlined in the book of my namesake.

I'm sure she'd be happy to whip you up a batch, out of Christian compassion.
I do so enjoy flinging them at to the unSaved Homeless on Christmas Day!
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Default Re: Baptist Diet - 01-10-2007, 06:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by demoncrat View Post
Is the bad reputation Saturated and Trans fat get part of the Liberal Vegan homo conspiracy?
Trans fat? Just what are you trying to say in your typically confused manner? Has the secular world become so depraved that the hellbound trash now see fat transvestites as food?


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