The heading is a bit misleading because although the twelve famous Mohammed cartoons were published 10 years ago, September 30 2005, the crisis didn't start until several months later when the Danish imams had toured the Middle East with a "dossier", which included a few extra cartoons the imams had designed themselves.
I know that many of my American and English brethren never got to see the cartoons because of the massive self-imposed censorship in the press and television, so let's celebrate the "anniversary" by reviewing the famous twelve.
My first choice is Lars Refn (to the right). Refn had chosen to draw a schoolboy named Mohammed. On the blackboard is written in Arabic, "
Jyllands-Posten are a bunch of reactionary provocateurs".
I chose Refn as number one, because ironically he was one of the first who had to go underground after having received death threats.
The lesson is that we are not even allowed to draw a Danish boy who happens to be named Mohammed.
Next cartoon (left) is by Bob Katzenelson. Reputedly the Egyptian Ambassador Mona Attia, one of the main plotters behind the crisis, exlaimed, "
Why have they drawn the prophet as a beardless fool?"
Well, the simple reason is that it's not a cartoon of Mohammed, it's supposed to be Kåre Bluitgen. The Danish author tried to publish a children's book about Mohammed but was unable to find a cartoonist, which inspired Jyllands-Posten to write to a number of cartoonists and ask them to "draw Mohammed as you see him" in order to determine if there was a problem with self-censorship among cartoonists.
Bluigten has an orange in his turban (a Danish expression meaning to be unexpectedly lucky). The idea is that Bluigten was lucky that the talk of censorship served as a PR-stunt for his (then yet to be published) book.
The lesson learned is that we can't even draw cartoons of people holding a stick figure -- if said stick figure could in some way be associated with Mohammed.
In the same vein is the cartoon by Arne Sørensen. He has portrayed himself behind closed curtains drawing a picture of Mohammed. Proving that he had fear of peaceful Muslims even before the crisis started.
Lesson learned: You are not even allowed to draw yourself.
Erik Abild Sørensen is not polite: "
Prophet! Daft and dumb. Keeping women under thumb". You can say a lot against this drawing: It's not very well done, and it's hard to see what the Star of David is doing in the cartoon.
One thing is obvious though: This is yet another "Mohammed cartoon" without Mohammed.
Lesson learned: You are not allowed to criticize Islam in any way.
Annette Carlsen has made another Mohammedless Mohammed cartoon. In a sort of police lineup a man says "
Hmm. I don't really recognize him". The meaning being (I think) that Annette Carlsen didn't have an idea of what Mohammed looked like. Jyllands-Posten had asked her to "Draw Mohammed as you see him", but she didn't know what to draw.
The people lined up are:
(1) an unidentified hippie
(2) Pia Kjærsgaard, Danish political leader
(3) Jesus with halo (ooh, now I'm insulted. Not)
(4) Buddha?
(5) Indian guru?
(6) Danish-Egyptian alleged comedian, Omar Marzouk, and
(7) and Kåre Bluitgen yet again; this time holding a sign with the words PR. Conspicuously absent is: Mohammed.
Lesson learned: So far we have seen zero cartoons with Mohammed and two with Bluitgen. Maybe the lesson to be learned is not as much that you may not draw Mohammed, but that you may not draw Bluitgen and accuse him of being PR hungry?
Claus Seidel was then the chairman of the cartoonists association. Reputedly he was embarrassed by the lack of response from his colleagues when Jyllands-Posten asked about 40 cartoonists to "draw Mohammed as you see him".
Seidel then added his own contribution to fill up the newspaper page. Showing Mohammed as a humble prophet did not help him, and he had to go underground and hide along with the other cartoonists.
Lesson learned: We are not allowed to portray Mohammed as a peaceful and humble prophet.
Franz Füchsel seems to be aware of the danger even before the crisis, "
Easy friends, when all comes to all it is just a drawing made by an Infidel Dane from Southern Jutland".
Lesson learned: We are not allowed to portray Mohammed as a peaceful and reasonable man.
Peder Bundgaard likes poster art and uses broad brushes with large areas of color. He has made a design where Mohammed's face is combined with the crescent moon and the Islamic star. Is it insulting? Only when a "unclean" Dane does it.
Lesson learned: Anything you do is wrong if you are an Infidel.
Poul Erik Poulsen seems to have combined Mohammed with Jesus. One thing that may insult those people, who like to be insulted, is that the halo might be taken for horns. Personally I think this is nonsense: Horns aren't golden and they aren't usually located half a foot over your head.
Poulsen has himself indicated that the drawing is supposed to be ambiguous. My own opinion is that Poulsen is simply a lousy artist who has to claim "ambiguity" because he can't draw. But that's just me.
Lesson learned: You're not allowed to make "ambiguous" cartoons of Jesus. Go directly in hiding: Even if you haven't drawn Mohammed you don't collect 200 dollars.
Jens Julius Hansen shows Mohammed as a sort of Islamic Saint Peter, "
Stop, stop. We have run out of virgins."
That's very insulting. If you are one of the imams who portray Allah as a pimp who reward murderers with 72 virgins. As a (little known) fact this was the cartoon the imams liked the best; and I concur.
Lesson learned: You are not allowed to ridicule those people who portray their God as a pimp.
Now we are at last getting to the "bad" ones. Bad, because they show Mohammed as a furious warlord - just as he is portrayed in the Islamic holy books.
Mohammed is shown with a black line over his eyes -- mirroring the two women in burqas, who are in black cloth with only the eyes showing.
Lesson learned. We are not allowed to show Mohammed the way he is portrayed on the Islamic holy books.
And finally: The iconic bomb-in-the turban by Kurt Westergaard.
This drawing has been accused of many things: Racism, Islamophobia, antisemitism, blasphemy, and so on. Westergaard has repeatedly stated that he means to address those obscurantists who use Islam for terrorism. He has even managed to convince one of the Danish Islamists about this. Well done, Westergaard. One down, 1,599,999,999 to go.
One of the complaints is that the chicken feet scrawl in the turban is the Islamic creed, the "Shahada", and that it is a blasphemy to place this peaceful creed next to a bomb. Well, the same peaceful creed appears on
the Saudi flag right above a sword. So what can we learn from this? That bombs weren't invented in the days of Mohammed, but swords were.
Lesson learned: You are not allowed to criticize those who use a certain prophet from a certain religion as a pretext for terrorism. It doesn't matter whether you show Mohammed or not, or whether you show him in a positive light. If you break this command, the peaceful members of this unnameable religion will come and kill you.
That's a lesson we have all learned, so in that respect the cartoons were successful.