Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 06:09 PM
Ok first of all, "Nancy-boy emo tard" what the piffle does that even mean? Secondly the definition of a christian is "one who follows Christ." And the definition of a Goth is "one who listens to gothic rock." Are you telling me I can't follow Christ AND listen to Bauhaus or Souixie and the Banshees?
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 06:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon17
Are you telling me I can't follow Christ AND listen to Bauhaus or Souixie and the Banshees?
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Are you suggesting you can? That question was purely rhetorical. I know that's what you're suggesting, and, of course, it is impossible. The two are mutually exclusive.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 06:12 PM
Yes, why yes I am.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Are you suggesting you can? That question was purely rhetorical. I know that's what you're suggesting, and, of course, it is impossible. The two are mutually exclusive.
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How is it impossible? I can't like certain music and me a christian? Have you even heard Bauhaus' music before?
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 06:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon17
How is it impossible? I can't like certain music and me a christian? Have you even heard Bauhaus' music before?
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You would have to pay me to listen to that homer Peter Murphy, and it would have to be a lot of money. I would tithe it all to the church as a symbol of my sacrifice.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 07:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon17
How is it impossible? I can't like certain music and me a christian? Have you even heard Bauhaus' music before?
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Yes, I have. Depressing wails designed by Satan to get youngsters to dress in drag and slit their wrists. If your selfish parents had sent you to a Godly Christian school, instead of a secular Public school, then you'd know that the electric guitar is an instrument of SATAN!!! With that and a 2/4 beat he's been corrupting our kids since the first Spaniard set foot in Africa.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
You would have to pay me to listen to that homer Peter Murphy, and it would have to be a lot of money. I would tithe it all to the church as a symbol of my sacrifice.
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Commendable, Nobar, but as you know the Lord doesn't accept tithes from the wages of whores. Peter Murphy might not exactly be a whore, but I'd launder that cash through direct donation to one of Betty Bower's outreach programs just in case the Lord sees a moral equivalency.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 08:06 PM
I don't think the money would be coming directly from Peter Murphy.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 09:04 PM
Someone paying you to listen to Peter Murphy....
Someone paying you for a tour of the fudge factory...
Not much of a difference other than where exactly the moaning sound is coming from.
Murphy+Morrisey+Siouxee = hanging from the rafters in the basement with a noose made of your mother's flowered bedsheets.
It's all the devil's work. Trust me on this. Stick with "Jesus Loves Me" and "Father Abraham".
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-29-2009, 11:16 PM
Woohoo! I love matching games like this! Let's see how many requirements I meet!
1-Frequently wears black clothing. - Has anyone noticed that tuxedos are black? As are mourning clothes? It's a dignified color.
2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. - Totally.
5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. - I could use a few.
6-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. - Death metal. <3
7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically. - Does that include people with accents? I have friends with accents, it just means I accept a hell of a lot more people than you Christfags do.
Well HO-LEE S**T, there's 5 right there, and we're not even past #10 yet! Let's continue on!
8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports. - Well, wow. Hey, aren't sports shown on cable TV? Isn't that SATANIC? And where is schooling in that? I devote my mind to more intellectual pursuits, such as not believing everything I read in a book written by people who believed the world was flat.
9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. - I cast Magic Missile at the darkness! Cookies for whoever gets the reference.
14-Complains of boredom. - Because I'd rather be learning instead of being held back by the slow people in my classes at school: who are ALL Christian! Imagine that!
15-Sleeps too excessively or too little. - Wait, what? How is that Gothic?
16-Is excessively awake during the night. - Maybe I should sacrifice my damned neighbor's damned noisy dog to Satan already...
17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) - I was born with a cateract in my right eye, so doctors removed my lens. It's not my fault that I have to squint it, now is it?
18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - What, I wouldn't want my parents watching me while I take a shit, now would I? Then again, the devil might be hiding in the toilet bowl, waiting to sodomize me or something...
19-Spends large amounts of time alone. - So I like to spend my time in a silent room, listening to beautiful arranged pieces of string orchestras?
20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child
may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) - OH NO! Too bad evil spirits don't EXIST, along with your God!
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult. - Now this is just too funny for me to think of a snarky reply to.
22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders
are but a few examples of this. - Respect is earned, not freely given?
25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of
this. - Oh wow. Just WOW.
27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. - You probably watch more TV than I do.
28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing
nature. So, by the definition of the word "roleplaying," all games in which the player assumes a role that isn't HIMSELF, are Gothic? Mario Brothers eat your heart out!
29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. - You people have a piffleing forum, so you must be breaking this rule too.
32-Expresses an interest in sex. - Gotta procreate and spread my anti-Christian offspring somehow, right?
33-Masturbates. - Lol. Just lol.
35-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. - Say what? I'd say the Buddhists are a lot more peaceful than you bloodthirsty extremists. Need I remind you of the Crusades?
What is that, 23? Wow, I must be the piffleing Devil in you people's eyes.
Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 06-30-2009 at 12:06 AM.
Reason: profanity edited
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 12:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azrael
I like to read in the well lit outside, actually, thank you. And that's a goth? Wow. I don't think there's a single goth in the world then.
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Goth denial? Is this a new phenomenon?
Quote:
Originally Posted by anon17
I am a christian! If you claim my life so pathetic, then why am I happy with life? I attend church regularly. I even work at my church. My family loves me for who I am, not what they want me to be. I am nearly content with my life.
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Wow. You're so pathetic that you can't even admit how unhappy you are. You can't get better until you admit that there's a problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator
Woohoo! I love matching games like this! Let's see how many requirements I meet!
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Well, that's a helpful contribution to this thread, since we all want to hear what you have to say...oh, wait. 500 identical goths have already made exactly the same post, and no-one cared then, either. You'll have plenty of time to try and think of an original thought when you're doing backstroke in the Lake of Fire.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 12:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator
Woohoo! I love matching games like this! Let's see how many requirements I meet!
1-Frequently wears black clothing. - Has anyone noticed that tuxedos are black? As are mourning clothes? It's a dignified color.
2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. - Totally.
5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. - I could use a few.
6-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. - Death metal. <3
7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically. - Does that include people with accents? I have friends with accents, it just means I accept a hell of a lot more people than you Christfags do.
Well HO-LEE SHIT, there's 5 right there, and we're not even past #10 yet! Let's continue on!
8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports. - Well, wow. Hey, aren't sports shown on cable TV? Isn't that SATANIC? And where is schooling in that? I devote my mind to more intellectual pursuits, such as not believing everything I read in a book written by people who believed the world was flat.
9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. - I cast Magic Missile at the darkness! Cookies for whoever gets the reference.
14-Complains of boredom. - Because I'd rather be learning instead of being held back by the slow people in my classes at school: who are ALL Christian! Imagine that!
15-Sleeps too excessively or too little. - Wait, what? How is that Gothic?
16-Is excessively awake during the night. - Maybe I should sacrifice my damned neighbor's damned noisy dog to Satan already...
17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) - I was born with a cateract in my right eye, so doctors removed my lens. It's not my fault that I have to squint it, now is it?
18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - What, I wouldn't want my parents watching me while I take a shit, now would I? Then again, the devil might be hiding in the toilet bowl, waiting to sodomize me or something...
19-Spends large amounts of time alone. - So I like to spend my time in a silent room, listening to beautiful arranged pieces of string orchestras?
20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child
may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) - OH NO! Too bad evil spirits don't EXIST, along with your God!
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult. - Now this is just too funny for me to think of a snarky reply to.
22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders
are but a few examples of this. - Respect is earned, not freely given?
25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of
this. - Oh wow. Just WOW.
27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. - You probably watch more TV than I do.
28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing
nature. So, by the definition of the word "roleplaying," all games in which the player assumes a role that isn't HIMSELF, are Gothic? Mario Brothers eat your heart out!
29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer. - You people have a piffleing forum, so you must be breaking this rule too.
32-Expresses an interest in sex. - Gotta procreate and spread my anti-Christian offspring somehow, right?
33-Masturbates. - Lol. Just lol.
35-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. - Say what? I'd say the Buddhists are a lot more peaceful than you bloodthirsty extremists. Need I remind you of the Crusades?
What is that, 23? Wow, I must be the piffleing Devil in you people's eyes.
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Normally I would welcome you to God's Holy forum and ask you to proceed to the Pastors Rules and Announcements to read up on Church protocol. However, in your case I think any advice would fall on deaf ears.
Many, many trolls come here thinking they are clever. They think what ever garbage they spew is fresh and new. Truth is, we've seen it all. You're a tired re-run of fools that have come here long before you. You are not fresh, you are not new, you're not even clever. Better trolls have come before and I'm certain we'll see better trolls than you in the future.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 01:25 AM
Who gives you all the right to call my parents selfish. I DO go to a christian school you idiot. And yes I am happy. I need not prove myself to the likes of you all.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 02:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Lazarus
Normally I would welcome you to God's Holy forum and ask you to proceed to the Pastors Rules and Announcements to read up on Church protocol. However, in your case I think any advice would fall on deaf ears.
Many, many trolls come here thinking they are clever. They think what ever garbage they spew is fresh and new. Truth is, we've seen it all. You're a tired re-run of fools that have come here long before you. You are not fresh, you are not new, you're not even clever. Better trolls have come before and I'm certain we'll see better trolls than you in the future.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
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You see, the problem is, when teachers at my school try to teach a concept to the slow or retarded kids, they repeat the topic over, and over, and over again, hoping that through repetition, it might go through their thick skulls into the soft, rarely used brain matter that lies beneath. That's what I'm trying to accomplish here.
In return, I think I'd like a little edjumacation. First of all, what is this "Homer" of which you speak? All I'm getting is either the Simpsons character, a redneck pronouncing "homo," and the baseball term for hitting the ball and running all of the bases.
Second, do you all think you're being cute by adding the ™ to the end of your little cult? An alt code given by God, if you must?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
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Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 02:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator
You see, the problem is, when teachers at my school try to teach a concept to the slow or retarded kids, they repeat the topic over, and over, and over again, hoping that through repetition, it might go through their thick skulls into the soft, rarely used brain matter that lies beneath. That's what I'm trying to accomplish here.
In return, I think I'd like a little edjumacation. First of all, what is this "Homer" of which you speak? All I'm getting is either the Simpsons character, a redneck pronouncing "homo," and the baseball term for hitting the ball and running all of the bases.
Second, do you all think you're being cute by adding the ™ to the end of your little cult? An alt code given by God, if you must?
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Son, is that it?
D o y o u w a n t u s t o t y p e s l o w e r a n d u s e l i t t l e w o r d s ?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 02:22 AM
Why is there so much hate on this forum? What ever happened to "love of enemies"? Or 1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
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Posts: 1,060
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 02:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imperator
You see, the problem is, when teachers at my school try to teach a concept to the slow or retarded kids, they repeat the topic over, and over, and over again, hoping that through repetition, it might go through their thick skulls into the soft, rarely used brain matter that lies beneath. That's what I'm trying to accomplish here.
In return, I think I'd like a little edjumacation. First of all, what is this "Homer" of which you speak? All I'm getting is either the Simpsons character, a redneck pronouncing "homo," and the baseball term for hitting the ball and running all of the bases.
Second, do you all think you're being cute by adding the ™ to the end of your little cult? An alt code given by God, if you must?
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Your lack of originality is astounding even by the troll standards we experience daily. I'd be more interested if you had just one ounce of creativity. Every thing you say has been said before. Everything you will say has been said before. You're just too predictable to be of any interest.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus
In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 02:59 AM
My goodness, you claim there is not hate on this forum, yet i see many posts discreminating against certain peoples.....Ever heard of the holy crusade? Perhaps you would like a repeat of that? Ive never read the bible nor do i plan to....but reading these forums makes me want to, perhaps i should starting hating more people? Im a cop so maybe i should shot every goth I see?
(If god gave us the ability to be individuals why wouldnt we embrace it?)
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Re: Is Your Child a Godless Goth? -
06-30-2009, 03:08 AM
And another thing, i see many members saying "Are you another god forsaken goth here to prosecute us?" And yet this WHOLE forum is ABOUT prosecuting goths! Jesus! WAKE UP! We dont give a shit about the Landover baptist church we dont ncare what it does, sooo STOP trying to control everybody else, thats not what america is about.
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