[eliot mayfield]

Ladies, I got this through a pm. I don't know what to say. perhaps if one of you ladies could deal with this. Please! Why I got the message, I'll never know. Must be my kind heart and working with youth.

I am a newlywed and I have a concern. It's a rather delicate matter. I was brought up to obey my husband and not talk back and to never cricize or correct a male. But, I know the wedding night is supposed to be painful and it was but I don't know how to say it. My husband was in the wrong place. What should I do if this happens again? I don't want to go to Hell. I'm afraid and confused and don't know who to turn to for help.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Perhaps a basic diagram of the female body would help matters? Or maybe she could simply guide him to the right place?
It isn't rocket science.

[eliot mayfield]

I don't think she should touch him there.

[Sofonda Peters]

I'm slightly confused myself. Is this woman saying that she was not a virgin on her wedding night? Her allusion to a "wrong place" seems to indicate that she has experienced the "right place" before. This is not good.

Deteuronomy 22:13-21 deals with the situation.
13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[OnYourKnees]

Poor Sister M woman! Being a good Christian, she doesn't want to tell her husband something's wrong, but she knows that they won't produce any Soldiers for Christ that way! It's her quiver that needs to be full, not her colon!

Perhaps there is a Christian Soldier Creation course in her town, where she and her husband can learn about such things?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

I think that the husband needs to be checked for AIDS -- obviously he has an unnatural attraction to the colon, so he just might be an undercover gay! Someone call up the Department of Faith, since I think this needs looking into! We don't need any more homers breeding gay babies.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

I don't think she should touch him there.

Uhhh Eliot hate to be the one to say it, but if she's going to be having sex with him, she's going to be touching that part of him anyway. Might as well at least have it touching the right place.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

he just might be an undercover gay!

Perhaps he's an ex-gay, and simply fell back on old habits?

[eliot mayfield]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Uhhh Eliot hate to be the one to say it, but if she's going to be having sex with him, she's going to be touching that part of him anyway. Might as well at least have it touching the right place.

Her touching him is wrong. She is there only to be fertilized, nothing more. It is not supposed to be pleasurable. Back in my sin filled youth I knew about such things. It is possible if she touches him he will spill his seed on the ground and that is wrong!
Not only that you have to wash everything:
Leviticus: 15

16": And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.

"17": And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

Her touching him is wrong. She is there only to be fertilized, nothing more. It is not supposed to be pleasurable. Back in my sin filled youth I knew about such things. It is possible if she touches him he will spill his seed on the ground and that is wrong!
Not only that you have to wash everything:

Unless the guy has some SERIOUS dysfunction down there, I doubt he'd 'spill his seed' if the woman in question simply took hold for a moment to guide him in.
I mean, he's going to be touching her in a far more intimate place than just her fingers, so what's the big deal?

[eliot mayfield]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Unless the guy has some SERIOUS dysfunction down there, I doubt he'd 'spill his seed' if the woman in question simply took hold for a moment to guide him in.
I mean, he's going to be touching her in a far more intimate place than just her fingers, so what's the big deal?

You are one sick pervert.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

You are one sick pervert.

Eliot, sweetie, while you haven't passed on an opportunity to call me names, I notice you haven't answered my valid question.

[eliot mayfield]

You mean what's the big deal? I think Hell is a pretty big deal. At least it is to me. She should lay there, keep her mouth shut and not move a muscle until she's been fertilized!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

You mean what's the big deal? I think Hell is a pretty big deal. At least it is to me. She should lay there, keep her mouth shut and not move a muscle until she's been fertilized!

Well didn't you also say you disapprove of sodomy, even heterosexual sodomy? If her lying there means that he misses the spot, then how is that going to 'create more little soldiers' as you put it?
Plugging up the poope hole isn't going to get the job done.

[SalvationSeeker]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Well didn't you also say you disapprove of sodomy, even heterosexual sodomy? If her lying there means that he misses the spot, then how is that going to 'create more little soldiers' as you put it?
Plugging up the poope hole isn't going to get the job done.

We've been over the definition of sodomy already, man on female doesn't count as sodomy.

The sin here is that he spills his seed (ie it goes where it is not supposed to go)..
He MUST fertilize the correct place, or he is guilty of murdering the unborn souls in the seed!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Whatever the case, it still supports my point of, in order to assist in getting the seed to the right area, a simple bit of guidance would fix the problem in seconds.
As opposed to continued attempts at floundering around in the dark (no pun intended ).
Which is better?

[OnYourKnees]

Rachael, this is exactly why I suggest having one of our Pastors visit this couple, and give hands-on demonstration to the husband.

[Glendora Christianson]

I think we might need to go back to identifying the naughty parts. There is some chance, the young man is unaware of the cooter part. Also, at one point, I was told that a deserving couple can make a baby by kissing and asking our Lord Jesus Christ for a child to raise for HIS Army.

[Lunadea]

Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker

We've been over the definition of sodomy already, man on female doesn't count as sodomy.

The sin here is that he spills his seed (ie it goes where it is not supposed to go)..
He MUST fertilize the correct place, or he is guilty of murdering the unborn souls in the seed!

You must be joking. Man on female counts as sodomy in law and according to the dictionaries.

=================================
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=8&q=sodomy

sodomy
noun
intercourse via the anus, committed by a man with a man or woman
------------------------------------------
sod·om·y
–noun
1. anal or oral copulation with a member of the opposite sex.

2. copulation with a member of the same sex.

3. bestiality </search?q=bestiality> (def. 4).
---------------------------------------------

Always has, always will. No argument about it. He's a sodomite and committed buggery too. The man is bound for hell for sure if you bapwits are correct in your interpretation of the scribblings you over-rate so much.

Ignorance is no excuse he has to be stoned. His wife should be stoned too. doesn't it say if a man buggerize or sodomize anything he and the thing has to be put down? Sure it does. He has to be taken to the gates of the city and stoned until he's dead.

[Lunadea]

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson

I think we might need to go back to identifying the naughty parts. There is some chance, the young man is unaware of the cooter part. Also, at one point, I was told that a deserving couple can make a baby by kissing and asking our Lord Jesus Christ for a child to raise for HIS Army.

I don't think that's really gonna work Sister Glendora, Ma'am. I have been told that using the same toilet seat as a boy can make you pregnant but I don't think kissing and praying will do it. I think that you have to somehow get some seed into the actual cooter part, you know, somehow.