General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-01-2017, 12:17 PM
Glory!
As a sign for the New Year Jesus appeared on a pile of cigarette butts. For easy viewing, the unmistakable face of our Redeemer is enclosed in a red oval shape.
This is easily explained. Jesus can be anywhere!
Psalms 139:8
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
No place is too insignificant for Jesus! He makes His immanent Return know to everyone, everywhere!
Acts 2:19
And I will shew wonders in heaven above, and signs in the earth beneath; blood, and fire, and vapour of smoke:
Wonderful apparitions, wonderful news for the World!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
|
|
Posts: 263
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: On my knees before Jesus
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-07-2017, 11:19 AM
This just goes to show, Jesus is everywhere -- even on Mars, letting the folks at NASA know He's watching them.
.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-17-2017, 12:10 PM
Great news! California is not totally lost. Jesus still keeps vigil in that godforsaken territory and tries to alert the sinners with an occasional apparition!
Recently, he was spotted in a puddle of vomit in a Long Beach Bar!
This is exactly as promised in the Good Book!
Leviticus 18:25
And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.
Jesus is still patrolling and visiting the land and trying to attract more sinners unto His bosom. He is Merciful (Jonah 4:2). Glory!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-17-2017, 02:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Great news! California is not totally lost. Jesus still keeps vigil in that godforsaken territory and tries to alert the sinners with an occasional apparition!
Recently, he was spotted in a puddle of vomit in a Long Beach Bar!
This is exactly as promised in the Good Book!
Leviticus 18:25
And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.
Jesus is still patrolling and visiting the land and trying to attract more sinners unto His bosom. He is Merciful (Jonah 4:2). Glory!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
|
This is the kind of Rock Solid proof that Jesus inspired in the writers of the Bible(KJV1611)
Romans 1:19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them
Anyone who is not a Christian is not being intellectually honest or is a proponent of the thing that Jesus hates:
That's right: anal sex
It's proof (if proof be need be) that nonChristians are either stupid of gay.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-21-2017, 09:30 AM
Jesus is pleased. He's increasing his transmissions and widening His scope to His closest advisers and followers. This loaf of white bread emerged today from an all-American bakery that caters to Biblical values!
Never before has a Presidency begun under such wonderful omens, under the rule of Jesus Himself. One of the most cherished verses in the has suddenly come to full bloom!
John 6:51
I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.
Thank you, Jesus, for the Wonderful Gift that is Mr. Trump!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
01-24-2017, 01:18 AM
GODLINESS truly IS back in government. Why, our own Brother Sean Spicer is sporting on his forehead!
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
02-07-2017, 04:15 AM
Jesus returns to His Earthly profession for an instant and leaves a beautiful message for all the manual laborers of our World!
Mark 6:3
Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.
A pile of sawdust but not just any pile. If a pile contains 2,000,000 tiny minute particles of wood, what would then be the likelihood of these fragments arranging themselves in the likeness of Christ by random chance? Correct! Infinitesimally small! Hence, evolutionary theory also collapses with this message from God, from Jesus Christ, our Sweet Redeemer! Glory!
In addition, this is a reminder for all the fake news sites that you should not meddle with our president, Mr. Trump!
Matthew 7:4
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
All things that oppose Jesus are fake news; all things that oppose our Lawful Leader are also fake news. A mote is a speck of sawdust. Jesus reminds the sinners that it is they who have blinded their vision with all the forgeries, not us.
Matthew 23:24
Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-05-2017, 03:02 PM
Rapture is closer! This time Jesus appeared in Manizales, Colombia. It is the same spot where He killed 17 people a few days ago with a mudslide. Now He is showing His face to let know all Christians that He is behind everything that happens, and the Salvation Day is closer!
Please forgive the spanish in the Youtube thing. Focus on Jesus and you will forget about the language of the servants.
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-06-2017, 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez
Rapture is closer! This time Jesus appeared in Manizales, Colombia. It is the same spot where He killed 17 people a few days ago with a mudslide. Now He is showing His face to let know all Christians that He is behind everything that happens, and the Salvation Day is closer!
|
Thank you, Brother Gonzales, for that picture of Jesus. Our nation does not understand how close we are to Salvation Day. Jesus tries to warn us by showing up but sinners just ignore Him and go on with their sinful lives. Here He was again:
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-14-2017, 02:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you, Brother Gonzales, for that picture of Jesus. Our nation does not understand how close we are to Salvation Day. Jesus tries to warn us by showing up but sinners just ignore Him and go on with their sinful lives. Here He was again:
|
Oh, dear. I thought that I was looking at Poseidon or Neptune for a moment--possibly Aquaman or that little redheaded harlot mermaid's father.
But I have been fasting for a day or so.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-14-2017, 03:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Thank you, Brother Gonzales, for that picture of Jesus. Our nation does not understand how close we are to Salvation Day. Jesus tries to warn us by showing up but sinners just ignore Him and go on with their sinful lives. Here He was again:
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Oh, dear. I thought that I was looking at Poseidon or Neptune for a moment--possibly Aquaman or that little redheaded harlot mermaid's father.
But I have been fasting for a day or so.
|
That's interesting, handy. A hungry stomach can play games with the mind. I on the other hand immediately thought of Jesus playing the guitar.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Toilet Biter
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-14-2017, 02:29 PM
Is it worth noting that even at night time Jesus can see what you're doing even when it's dark outside? You can't hide from him. Just look at the moon. To everyone misbehaving having pre-marital sex and drinking alcohol on Sunday nights, he knows.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-25-2017, 08:00 PM
Jesus pops into a woman's uterus to say join her unborn babe for an ultrasound picture! Really, the timing is too spectacular to have just been a coincidence! Jesus, having supernatural powers, can get really really small apparently. Fascinating!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-25-2017, 09:05 PM
Sister Mary E., please don't take offense, but that figure on the middle left actually creeps me out. It looks kinda like Charlie Manson is staring at the fetus baby.
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-25-2017, 09:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Sister Mary E., please don't take offense, but that figure on the middle left actually creeps me out. It looks kinda like Charlie Manson is staring at the fetus baby.
|
Mistaking the one for the other has happened before, sister.
I wonder if Jesus pre-copied Charles Manson for some hidden reason, the answer to which we must search our hearts to find.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-26-2017, 01:32 AM
That sonogram picture is the most powerful proof of Jesus we have ever had. We are so fortunate to have the technology to see Him.
After Jesus floated up in ancient times, it has been know he returns for business reasons from time to time. It is possible to catch a vision of him--have your phones ready always.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
02-04-2018, 06:00 AM
Jesus will never forsake us! He shares reminders of His existence with us in the everyday fruit of an orange...
Concrete...
exotic vacation resorts...
And even bit torrents...
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
02-04-2018, 08:23 AM
As a believer, washed in the precious Blood of Our Savior, I was immediately able to pick out Jesus in the orange, but when I shared this post with a sinful neighbor, he said, "It looks like a white Diana Ross in her younger days." May God have mercy on his soul. The Heavenly King does not in any way resemble a vain negress has been!
I was in a Denny's where one of the patrons discovered the image of Jesus in her hash browns. We all knelt by the buttery deliciousness of his form but alas no one thought to take a photo. I wonder if Jesus will place himself in the food to be served at the marriage supper of the Lamb when we arrive on Heaven's shores?
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
|
|
An old soul
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-13-2018, 10:24 PM
The Lord is watching over real American truck drivers. Safe passage, fellow Christian.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
05-14-2018, 02:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole
The Lord is watching over real American truck drivers. Safe passage, fellow Christian.
|
That's absolutely glorious! If I didn't know any better, I'd say it looks like an angel using a leaf blower across the top of that SUV, but that doesn't make any sense. Perhaps this is Jesus giving us a sign that President Trump will be blessed to play more golf soon! No one deserves Rest and Relaxation as much as he does!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|