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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 06-26-2011, 08:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15 View Post
I'm a woman and I am smart
No you're not. Unfortunately you're too stupid to realize you are an idiot. You might want to look up "ignorance" if that word hasn't too many syllables for you.


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To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Angry Re: Manly Jokes - 06-26-2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15 View Post
I think you guys need to stop being stupid, sexist, biggots! Women are just as good (If not better) then men. I'm a woman and I am smart, strong, I could take any of you homophobic, sexist gits in a fight. Seriously Jesus loved women equally to men and wouldn't be happy to hear your horrible comments, do unto others as you would have others do unto you right? Would you like to be the butt of some dumb jokes told by dirty old men, insucure about their status in life? And stop gay bashing too! Not cool. you must love your enemy and treat them with unconditional love and with kindm=ness, not cruelty and hate. Not cool christians Not cool
Being you are a raging femnazi, I know my opinion will fall on (typical) deaf ears. But how about what God has to say?

Quote:
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
T
his means God wanted us to be entertained and have a help, IE, a cook and cleaner.

Quote:
1st Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Learn from a man, but be silent, stop the incessant cackling.

Quote:
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.nt cackling!
Behave. Do what you are told.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Talking Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 06:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
How are you any better than a male chauvanist?

Because I think men are equall to woman. I was slightly pissed off and annoyed at the sexism i read when i posted that.

How are you any different than an internet tough guy?
Because I am happy for anyone to come to my place 13 Bridge st New Brighton and try me


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Talking Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 06:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Being you are a raging femnazi, I know my opinion will fall on (typical) deaf ears. But how about what God has to say?

This means God wanted us to be entertained and have a help, IE, a cook and cleaner.

Learn from a man, but be silent, stop the incessant cackling.

Behave. Do what you are told.
Honey I never do what anyone tells me especcially a man.
We make our own fates and I know if indeed christianity is correct (lol!) then i will go to hell (lol!) But if that means i lived MY life to MY values and beliefs then I'm happy with that.


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 06:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15 View Post
Because I am happy for anyone to come to my place 13 Bridge st New Brighton and try me
I am married, whore.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unhappy Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 10:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
I am married, whore.
EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
i was refering to the fact that some one said i wasn't up to fight any of you christians
EEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! YUK, MAN SEX?!!??! EWWWWW

EWWWWW!!!!! YOU SICKEN ME!!!!!!!!


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 10:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15 View Post
Honey I never do what anyone tells me especcially a man.
You are so naive that it is funny. As you are not clearly living in a cave away from any society, you can't make it through the day without following the rules.

You are just another worker bee and you follow many rules various men have made for you.

Following these rules of men makes worker bees like you happy.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 06-29-2011, 10:36 AM

Hey teenage dyke,

DO NOT post again in the men's section. You've already abused the report post function so you have one strike left against you.

Your best bet is to start getting on your knees and repenting from the harlot lifestyle since we can plainly see that the syphilis has already ravaged your brain and turned you into a babbling nincompoop.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-10-2011, 01:35 AM

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.


6
A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-11-2011, 12:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15 View Post
I think you guys need to stop being stupid, sexist, biggots! Women are just as good (If not better) then men. I'm a woman and I am smart, strong, I could take any of you homophobic, sexist gits in a fight. Seriously Jesus loved women equally to men and wouldn't be happy to hear your horrible comments, do unto others as you would have others do unto you right? Would you like to be the butt of some dumb jokes told by dirty old men, insucure about their status in life? And stop gay bashing too! Not cool. you must love your enemy and treat them with unconditional love and with kindm=ness, not cruelty and hate. Not cool christians Not cool
Even though you're a woman posting in the manly jokes forum. I think your humour is impressive (for a woman).


Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-14-2011, 06:00 PM

My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.


--

My wife has been complaining for hours about toothache. She's been going on and on about the pain, and how much she's afraid of the dentist.

I'd had enough, so I got a pair of pliers, stood on her forehead and yanked the piffleer out.

Let's see how much moaning she can do without a tongue.


6
A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-16-2011, 06:28 AM

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. – Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

women need to stay in the kitchen and make me a damn sandwich.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-17-2011, 12:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxativeBro View Post
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. – Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

women need to stay in the kitchen and make me a damn sandwich.
I don't think that you got it all correct there, but the punch line is all alright!


"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 07-23-2011, 11:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Helge View Post
I don't think that you got it all correct there, but the punch line is all alright!
I don't let my wife make my sandwiches anymore, she keeps using exotic spices. Belladonna, monkshood, hemlock - that sort of thing. I hate ethnic food.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-11-2011, 02:58 AM

So I took my (blonde) fiance Daisy Mae to her first football game the other night. After the game, I asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don't get why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Like a fool, I asked her, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-11-2011, 04:28 AM

What with missionary work and all I've travelled to a great many Godless places, while doing so I've noticed certain habits the natives, in various locales have... One of which is the way in which honeymooners refer to each other...

The godly American says; 'pass the honey honey', to his new bride. while the insidious englander says; 'pass the sugar sugar.' The australien says; 'pass the tea, bag.'


Matthew 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2011, 01:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Care to back that up with Scripture, boy?

And who asked for your unsaved opinion anyway?
Woman was formed from man by man's rib. So woman is man. You guys treat woman like slaves. Slavery is wrong.

You came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from transgender. That transgender came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. So yeah.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2011, 01:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyAmazingMonkeyGod View Post
Slavery is wrong.
And exactly where does it say that in the Holy Bible?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2011, 01:56 AM

Sexist Biatches take note on:
Ephesians 5:25-33
Colossians 3:19
Genesis 2:18, 20-24 < the rib bone represented equality between man and woman
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Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2011, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker View Post
represented equality between man and woman
Well that is funny. So you have sense of humor after all.
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