Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-26-2011, 08:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15
I'm a woman and I am smart
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No you're not. Unfortunately you're too stupid to realize you are an idiot. You might want to look up "ignorance" if that word hasn't too many syllables for you.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-26-2011, 10:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15
I think you guys need to stop being stupid, sexist, biggots! Women are just as good (If not better) then men. I'm a woman and I am smart, strong, I could take any of you homophobic, sexist gits in a fight. Seriously Jesus loved women equally to men and wouldn't be happy to hear your horrible comments, do unto others as you would have others do unto you right? Would you like to be the butt of some dumb jokes told by dirty old men, insucure about their status in life? And stop gay bashing too! Not cool. you must love your enemy and treat them with unconditional love and with kindm=ness, not cruelty and hate. Not cool christians Not cool
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Being you are a raging femnazi, I know my opinion will fall on (typical) deaf ears. But how about what God has to say?
Quote:
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
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This means God wanted us to be entertained and have a help, IE, a cook and cleaner.
Quote:
1st Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
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Learn from a man, but be silent, stop the incessant cackling.
Quote:
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.nt cackling!
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Behave. Do what you are told.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: lying in my girlfriends arms, listening to GaGa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 06:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
How are you any better than a male chauvanist?
Because I think men are equall to woman. I was slightly pissed off and annoyed at the sexism i read when i posted that.
How are you any different than an internet tough guy?
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Because I am happy for anyone to come to my place 13 Bridge st New Brighton and try me
Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way!
I love the Mother Monster.
Xena Warrior Princess, she can save me anytime!!!
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Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: lying in my girlfriends arms, listening to GaGa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 06:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Being you are a raging femnazi, I know my opinion will fall on (typical) deaf ears. But how about what God has to say?
This means God wanted us to be entertained and have a help, IE, a cook and cleaner.
Learn from a man, but be silent, stop the incessant cackling.
Behave. Do what you are told.
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Honey I never do what anyone tells me especcially a man.
We make our own fates and I know if indeed christianity is correct (lol!) then i will go to hell (lol!) But if that means i lived MY life to MY values and beliefs then I'm happy with that.
Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way!
I love the Mother Monster.
Xena Warrior Princess, she can save me anytime!!!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15
Because I am happy for anyone to come to my place 13 Bridge st New Brighton and try me
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I am married, whore.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: lying in my girlfriends arms, listening to GaGa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 10:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I am married, whore.
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EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
i was refering to the fact that some one said i wasn't up to fight any of you christians
EEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! YUK, MAN SEX?!!??! EWWWWW
EWWWWW!!!!! YOU SICKEN ME!!!!!!!!
Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way!
I love the Mother Monster.
Xena Warrior Princess, she can save me anytime!!!
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 10:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15
Honey I never do what anyone tells me especcially a man.
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You are so naive that it is funny. As you are not clearly living in a cave away from any society, you can't make it through the day without following the rules.
You are just another worker bee and you follow many rules various men have made for you.
Following these rules of men makes worker bees like you happy.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
06-29-2011, 10:36 AM
Hey teenage dyke,
DO NOT post again in the men's section. You've already abused the report post function so you have one strike left against you.
Your best bet is to start getting on your knees and repenting from the harlot lifestyle since we can plainly see that the syphilis has already ravaged your brain and turned you into a babbling nincompoop.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
True Christian™
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Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-10-2011, 01:35 AM
I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so the moment she walks through the door the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-11-2011, 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngel15
I think you guys need to stop being stupid, sexist, biggots! Women are just as good (If not better) then men. I'm a woman and I am smart, strong, I could take any of you homophobic, sexist gits in a fight. Seriously Jesus loved women equally to men and wouldn't be happy to hear your horrible comments, do unto others as you would have others do unto you right? Would you like to be the butt of some dumb jokes told by dirty old men, insucure about their status in life? And stop gay bashing too! Not cool. you must love your enemy and treat them with unconditional love and with kindm=ness, not cruelty and hate. Not cool christians Not cool
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Even though you're a woman posting in the manly jokes forum. I think your humour is impressive (for a woman).
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
True Christian™
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Posts: 950
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing, Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-14-2011, 06:00 PM
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
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My wife has been complaining for hours about toothache. She's been going on and on about the pain, and how much she's afraid of the dentist.
I'd had enough, so I got a pair of pliers, stood on her forehead and yanked the piffleer out.
Let's see how much moaning she can do without a tongue.
6 A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-16-2011, 06:28 AM
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. – Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
women need to stay in the kitchen and make me a damn sandwich.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,074
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: On my way to Heaven!
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-17-2011, 12:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxativeBro
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. – Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
women need to stay in the kitchen and make me a damn sandwich.
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I don't think that you got it all correct there, but the punch line is all alright!
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
John 8:32
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Manly Jokes -
07-23-2011, 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Helge
I don't think that you got it all correct there, but the punch line is all alright!
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I don't let my wife make my sandwiches anymore, she keeps using exotic spices. Belladonna, monkshood, hemlock - that sort of thing. I hate ethnic food.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-11-2011, 02:58 AM
So I took my (blonde) fiance Daisy Mae to her first football game the other night. After the game, I asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and the big muscles, but I don't get why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Like a fool, I asked her, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 195
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Lisbon generally, on a philanthropic mission to the australian colonies currently.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-11-2011, 04:28 AM
What with missionary work and all I've travelled to a great many Godless places, while doing so I've noticed certain habits the natives, in various locales have... One of which is the way in which honeymooners refer to each other...
The godly American says; 'pass the honey honey', to his new bride. while the insidious englander says; 'pass the sugar sugar.' The australien says; 'pass the tea, bag.'
Matthew 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Investigating Buddha's Workout Schedule
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 01:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Care to back that up with Scripture, boy?
And who asked for your unsaved opinion anyway?
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Woman was formed from man by man's rib. So woman is man. You guys treat woman like slaves. Slavery is wrong.
You came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from transgender. That transgender came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. That woman came from woman. So yeah.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 01:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyAmazingMonkeyGod
Slavery is wrong.
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And exactly where does it say that in the Holy Bible?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 01:56 AM
Sexist Biatches take note on:
Ephesians 5:25-33
Colossians 3:19
Genesis 2:18, 20-24 < the rib bone represented equality between man and woman
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
represented equality between man and woman
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Well that is funny. So you have sense of humor after all.
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