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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Blakeyoung Blakeyoung is offline
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 05:45 AM
LostgirlNY you look pretty hot, I'd hook up with ya without the island or dowry. How about it eh?
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 05:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blakeyoung View Post
LostgirlNY you look pretty hot, I'd hook up with ya without the island or dowry. How about it eh?
Cool your jets Romeo. This young lady is currently under my pastoral guidance due to her on-going demonic possession, which causes her to commit fornications with all manner of men (and women). We pray together in private on a daily basis.

Please don't try and muscle in disrupt her progress. I have her well in hand.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Blakeyoung Blakeyoung is offline
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Cool your jets Romeo. This young lady is currently under my pastoral guidance due to her on-going demonic possession, which causes her to commit fornications with all manner of men (and women). We pray together in private on a daily basis.

Please don't try and muscle in disrupt her progress. I have her well in hand.
Ahhh thats unfortunate for me. We could've shown one another a thing or two. Ah well I'll move on.
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 06:12 AM
But Blake, you're Unsaved. How could you show her a thing or two about the Bible and the proper role of women?


Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blakeyoung View Post
Ahhh thats unfortunate for me. We could've shown one another a thing or two. Ah well I'll move on.
Well now if you're offering to help, that's a different story....I would need to train you first of course.

I could envision some robust Prayer sessions between the three of us, friend.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Blakeyoung Blakeyoung is offline
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-05-2009, 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
But Blake, you're Unsaved. How could you show her a thing or two about the Bible and the proper role of women?
Well I couldn't show her anything about the bible; however, I could show her the proper role of attractive women.

Pastor Zeke, do tell.
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MiamiCandy MiamiCandy is offline
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MiamiCandy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.MiamiCandy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-07-2009, 07:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blakeyoung View Post
Well I couldn't show her anything about the bible; however, I could show her the proper role of attractive women.

Pastor Zeke, do tell.
Attractive women should be given a busted lip so that they don't distract men from their bibles!
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Shinigami Shinigami is offline
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Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-07-2009, 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiCandy View Post
Hi. I don't want to go into detail but I had a bad experience and was curious about this site. I might not post here anymore but wanted an account just in case.



So, hi.
Hello. But first...DYNAMIC RE-ENTRY!

It's nice to meet you and it is also good to be back here on Landover forums and I hope everyone had a good time and stuff went smoothly. I'm sorry you are going to have to stop partying since I'm alive. I am kidding about that partying thing, so don't get ticked at me please!

Good to be back and I hope to post more and get to greet newbies like the good old days. Hi everyone and you will be seeing more of me.

I have no sig to put here. Just haven't thought about it yet and don't have an idea what to do. Got suggestions? PM me and let me know.
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Vavoline Johnson Vavoline Johnson is offline
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Default Re: Lost and curious - 10-07-2009, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiCandy View Post
I like Exodous, particularly the Laws but I don't really go to church. I was just curious about this site is all. I don't know about a porno sorry.
Lawd hab mercy, I said it over an over that them po folks in Flori-duh are as stoopid as they come and my, they don't disappoint, do dey?
This here church ain't no place fo da curiosity seeker, cause it be a holy house of Gawd.
We don't need you peepin at our business like it's a zoo unless you come here to be saved.

Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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