[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

In all my years, rarely have I seen an individual in such need of healing power of prayer!
1 - He's a homer
2 - His pores are filled with pus
3 - He wets his bed
4 - He defiles himself while watching muscular men in pantyhose
5 - He's delusional
6 - Satan has him lying every time he posts
7 - There is a good chance his tears might fall into his keyboard, causing him to die of electrical shock before he can be saved

A sad case, brothers and sisters! Please pray for this lost soul!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Sister M&M, I know that your heart's in the right place. But every time I try and Pray for this pus-ridden demon, I wretch and and gag something awful.

I imagine that's what his family feels too. Really a sad case.

[Wide-Open]

Does praying count when you just throw up a little in your mouth at the same time?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I prayed and puked too. Just the thought of his oozing festering face made me hurl a little.

[Eugene Hackwith]

I tried to pray for him just now, and I also vomited. Maybe it's God's way of telling us that this individual is undeserving of our Godly prayers?

[JennyD]

I prayed that he would read God's Word and come to believe in and love the real Jesus, who loves and who hates, who creates good and evil, who enjoys peace and commands genocides, who watches gently over every newborn babe and presides over earthquakes, hurricanes, and tsunamis which eradicate tens of thousands, just as much as we True Christians™ do.

Alas, I fear that he will persist in his blasphemies and his love of the hippie love god of his own imagination, rather than the Glorious God of Love and Hatred in the Bible and our hearts.

[Robbie]

I managed to get through my prayer without vomiting. I first prayed to the Lord to give me the strength to do so, which He granted, then I was just about able to keep down the rising tide of bile. I do believe it is our duty to be strong, with God's help, and to try to help those less fortunate than ourselves, such as the spotted face disaster that is Pimplepee-peezillaWWE. I too doubt that there is much hope for him, his perversions or his acne, however, wherever there is the Lord, there is Hope.

[SUV]

My GOD, does he have pimples all over his pee-pee now too?

Please, someone, shout a few hearty Prayers to The Lord in my behalf

For I'm feeling Ill and I need to lay doon

[Nobar King]

It sounds bad, I hope he doesn't go goth.

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

It sounds bad, I hope he doesn't go goth.

I'm sure he's already emo, brother Nobar. Witness his masochistic tendencies and bizarre sexual obsession with Pastor Ezekiel.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by JennyD

I'm sure he's already emo, brother Nobar. Witness his masochistic tendencies and bizarre sexual obsession with Pastor Ezekiel.

Miss D, I'm sorry to report that Andrew's attraction to men of the cloth is not limited to Pastor Ezekiel. This is the continuation of what I thought to be a meaningless aberration.

During a church youth "lock-in", Andrew insisted on following certain male church leaders into the restroom and making inappropriate comments. Since he had a girlfriend, we thought this to simply be youthful curiosity. We sat him down and had a long talk, and prayed that the Lord would relieve him of his desire to be dominated by older men. He thanked us for helping him, and said he was looking forward to marrying his girlfriend someday.

He did get engaged to Helena some time ago. She was a lovely girl -- lovely in spirit, that is. Her appearance may have been a bit unfortunate, but she loved him in spite of his, shall we say, "shortcomings". We'd counseled her on what to do if his "tendencies" resurfaced, and she was very accepting of her duties as a Christian wife to ensure that her husband stayed on the straight and narrow. Emphasis on the "straight".

Helena was taken home by Jesus a couple of months ago following an automobile accident. She was killed instantly, and suffered no pain. Unfortunately, Andrew has not been able to accept her death, and has been acting out in bizarre ways. He pretends she is still alive, for example, and has begun listening to Emo bands.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm at my wit's end with this boy. I do hope you good folk can help him find his way back to Jesus!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

Miss D, I'm sorry to report that Andrew's attraction to men of the cloth is not limited to Pastor Ezekiel. This is the continuation of what I thought to be a meaningless aberration.

During a church youth "lock-in", Andrew insisted on following certain male church leaders into the restroom and making inappropriate comments. Since he had a girlfriend, we thought this to simply be youthful curiosity. We sat him down and had a long talk, and prayed that the Lord would relieve him of his desire to be dominated by older men. He thanked us for helping him, and said he was looking forward to marrying his girlfriend someday.

He did get engaged to Helena some time ago. She was a lovely girl -- lovely in spirit, that is. Her appearance may have been a bit unfortunate, but she loved him in spite of his, shall we say, "shortcomings". We'd counseled her on what to do if his "tendencies" resurfaced, and she was very accepting of her duties as a Christian wife to ensure that her husband stayed on the straight and narrow. Emphasis on the "straight".

Helena was taken home by Jesus a couple of months ago following an automobile accident. She was killed instantly, and suffered no pain. Unfortunately, Andrew has not been able to accept her death, and has been acting out in bizarre ways. He pretends she is still alive, for example, and has begun listening to Emo bands.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm at my wit's end with this boy. I do hope you good folk can help him find his way back to Jesus!

What a sad and pathetic story. The most amazing part is how he could have tricked bribed convinced any girl at all to agree to marry him. With all the open, festering sores covering his body, I can't picture even an ugly girl taking him on. Was she blind or a retarded?

I'll bet you dollars to donuts she drove the car over a cliff on purpose, out of remorse and self-disgust for having promised to be his bride.

As far as advice on dealing with the boy, that's a tough one. Have you tried having him sanded?

[Robbie]

The sanding idea is a sound one indeed, although it may not work in such an extreme case as that of our lost sheep PimplePeePeeZillaWWE. Let us all reflect on the story of Job, who Satan "smote ... with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown" (Job 2:7), with the permission of the Lord. Job, through all his trials, did not waver from the Lord, and so was rewarded, both with earthly prizes (lots of livestock and a brand new set of smokin'-hot daughters) and with the eternal prize that we all seek.

Attack of the Zits must learn from Job. Cleave yourself unto God SpottySpottyBoilFaceWWE and only then shall you be saved. I pray that that day of salvation comes swiftly for you.

[Abu Obama]

In my country we would not suffer a boy who has such fantasies to live

He is probably imagining large, confident, handsome men with massively muscular tanned bodies dripping with sweat and writhing against eachother in a wrestling competition. We can only imagine what goes on in the minds of unbelievers!!

[Brother Enoch]

Luckily I didn't have to pray. I just paid my five bucks and lit a candle. No vomitting necessary. The Pope thinks of everything!

[Justina Thyme]

After some research, I have discovered that this unfortunate lad's disgusting, sickening, stomach-turning skin condition is caused by DEMONS:

ACNE - FRANCISCO'S FACE - THE DEVIL LIKES TO MAKE GOD'S BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN UGLY

God is truly wonderful for restoring this young man's face. Francisco, a year 11 student, came to Bible study one lunchtime. His face horrified and disgusted me. Except for his eyes, his neck and face were covered with big pussy pimples. He looked truly revolting. During Bible study I couldn't help but ask if he wanted prayer. Without hesitation he answered, "Yes".

Besides praying for the boy then and there, I asked God for a word of knowledge. (I Corinthians 12:8 "For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit").

Rebuke the pins that Satan has embedded in Francisco's face, through which all the poison is entering. Command that the pins be removed and that the antiseptic of the Lord Jesus Christ fill the gaps. Ask that God siphon all the blood vessels under the skin, which have been poisoned. Ask that God remove the impure blood from the cells and replace it with the perfect blood of Jesus Christ. Ask that God wrap himself around the skin and protect it from all the environment and satanic elements.

The surest way to know that you have prayed correctly is by the results. Within days there was a tremendous improvement in the boy's skin. Three weeks later there wasn't a pimple left on his face, nor were there acne scars. Praise God!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Justina Thyme

After some research, I have discovered that this unfortunate lad's disgusting, sickening, stomach-turning skin condition is caused by DEMONS:

Well sister Justina, if I hadn't read it, I wouldn't have thought it probable that God would perform a miracle and cure zits by driving out DEMONS. It just goes to show that He sees and hears everything and that, as befits The Lord of Hosts, His example of His power is modest and effective. An example for us all - nothing is too small that it qualifies as too small to count.

[Sister Noddy]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

It just goes to show that He sees and hears everything and that, as befits The Lord of Hosts, His example of His power is modest and effective. An example for us all - nothing is too small that it qualifies as too small to count.

GLORY BE TO GOD! For it is written ...

Acts 19:12 So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them ...

Let that be a lesson to pimple boy! Praise!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Brothers and Sisters, I'm not entirely sorry to say that I've not had any contact with Andrew (or, as he likes to be known, PimplePee-PeeZilla) for several weeks now. It seems his humiliation at having his lies exposed has driven him into hiding.

For some time, I suspected he might have taken a new name (Vayhr of the Warhost), as pretending to be a zit-free and muscular fantasy role-play game character would seem very attractive to a flabby and blemished person of his extraordinarily limited appeal. The ranting and vulgarity seemed to confirm that it was he, but eventually I saw that Miss Talitha has actually hired this Vayhr (also known as Clarence?) to do some sewing for her. Andrew could no more sew a button with his fat fingers than he could type a coherent sentence, so I'm reasonably sure (about 85% certain) he didn't run off to Freehold.

Mr. and Mrs. Watkins are worried sick, and are asking for prayers. They fear that any day now, they will receive news that Andrew has died in a horrible wreck which damages Mrs. Watkins' prized 1986 Honda Accord (which he took with him), or worse, that he is coming back to live in their basement again. Their dear poodle, Miss Wiggles, is just beginning to relax around young males instead of cowering and baring her teeth; they think Andrew's absence may be somehow related.



Miss Wiggles greeting Andrew back in January.

Please join me in praying that Andrew finds a good homeless shelter where he can hear the Good News about Jesus. Perhaps he could stay at a YMCA and get some exercise, learn some job skills, and be freed of his chronic masturbation and bedwetting problems. Some virile young men could become role models for him! Eventually, enough wet-towel-snappings in the locker room might help encourage him to diet, and he might no longer be the porked-up, jiggling untapped source of biodiesel he is today.

I hold out little hope that he could ever be Saved©, but every day I see new miracles and know that nothing is beyond our Lord!

[Pimplepee-peezillaWWE]

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

Miss D, I'm sorry to report that Andrew's attraction to men of the cloth is not limited to Pastor Ezekiel. This is the continuation of what I thought to be a meaningless aberration.

During a church youth "lock-in", Andrew insisted on following certain male church leaders into the restroom and making inappropriate comments. Since he had a girlfriend, we thought this to simply be youthful curiosity. We sat him down and had a long talk, and prayed that the Lord would relieve him of his desire to be dominated by older men. He thanked us for helping him, and said he was looking forward to marrying his girlfriend someday.

He did get engaged to Helena some time ago. She was a lovely girl -- lovely in spirit, that is. Her appearance may have been a bit unfortunate, but she loved him in spite of his, shall we say, "shortcomings". We'd counseled her on what to do if his "tendencies" resurfaced, and she was very accepting of her duties as a Christian wife to ensure that her husband stayed on the straight and narrow. Emphasis on the "straight".

Helena was taken home by Jesus a couple of months ago following an automobile accident. She was killed instantly, and suffered no pain. Unfortunately, Andrew has not been able to accept her death, and has been acting out in bizarre ways. He pretends she is still alive, for example, and has begun listening to Emo bands.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm at my wit's end with this boy. I do hope you good folk can help him find his way back to Jesus!

Imposter, First off there was no woman named Helena, Second, You have been exposed as a fraud. Expect a lawsuit from the real Reverend Mark J Rodimer for impersonation. Third, I sincerely hope you pay for imitating a great man like Reverend Mark J Rodimer.