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Question Re: God likes a good fart! - 07-11-2015, 02:56 AM

I wonder if the stench of expelled flatus is as pleasing to the Lord as the aroma of burning dead animals?Genesis 8:20-21
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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 07-20-2015, 01:28 AM

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Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
I wonder if the stench of expelled flatus is as pleasing to the Lord as the aroma of burning dead animals?Genesis 8:20-21
Technically, you'd be right. Fart gas is rich in sulfur dioxide, a chemical known for its di*stinked*(badum-tss!) odor.

Meat is literally a carefully burned animal corpse(unless you prefer your meat raw, which is not only disgusting but dangerous). It also contains lots of sulfur dioxide, which is liberated from the meat's molecular structure during digestion.

Ipso facto, if you fart after eating meat, it would smell similar to if you lobbed those choice cuts into the grill you cooked it on.


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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-21-2016, 01:54 AM



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Devil Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-24-2016, 02:34 PM

This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one ***removed potty language*** with the other two beings?

Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,

Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist
Retard in the Church of Satan


Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-24-2016, 03:58 PM

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Originally Posted by Naomi Forest View Post
This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one butthole with the other two beings?

Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,

Naomi Forest
Priest of the Church of Satan



Have you tried researching Scripture to find an answer to your unhealthy fascination with this subject?


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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-24-2016, 04:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest View Post
This makes me intensely curious, even more so! After all, as God is three beings in one, how does He fart? Does He share one butthole with the other two beings?

Looking forward to an answer from the Informed,

Naomi Forest
Priest of the Church of Satan
The Holy Bible is all the Information you need dear, and it's perfectly accessible. Exodus chapter 33 (Exodus 33:21-23 specifically) shows that the LORD allowed Moses to see His Glorious Backside, but Moses didn't tell anyone about it. He doesn't kiss and tell, so to speak.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-25-2016, 12:37 PM

Indeed. I have read the Bible, but as a stout devouter of the Church of Satan, I desire endless knowledge of various kinds of ***idiotic potty language removed*** subjects, including the Lord's Holy ***more potty language removed***. I need to know more, more and more. For I am Naomi the Butthole Fetishist, Retard of the Church of Satan, and Knowledge is unknown to me.


Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-25-2016, 02:47 PM

How immensely strange that my name has turned pink! Pink has always been my favorite color and I am immensely pleased by this. May I inquire as to what prompted this gracious change?


Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Jesus Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-25-2016, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist View Post
How immensely strange that my name has turned pink! Pink has always been my favorite color and I am immensely pleased by this. May I inquire as to what prompted this gracious change?
No. Actually, you may not.

James 4:3
Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-22-2018, 07:42 PM

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Originally Posted by I-Hate-Juice View Post
My wife is very understanding of my high devotion towards following the Holy Book to the word, and therefore she promised to start making me beans with peas more often.

I have to start practicing on getting my "harp" into tune

Thanks for this, yet another, very informative post Brother!

YiC
Paavali


Good luck YiC! God does want us to be healthy and happy. That's for sure. Not sure if I would glorify our bodily functions though . . . Keep in mind, there is a reason 'waste' is expelled rather than the other way around. God bless
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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-22-2018, 11:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Praisegodtogether View Post
God does want us to be healthy and happy.
God want's us to suffer to prove we are worthy of being saved.

Romans 8:17 "And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together."


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Default Re: God likes a good fart! - 02-23-2018, 08:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Brother, your Godly understanding of the Bible is impressive, even amongst True Christians™!

I have a question, though, that maybe you'd be able to help me with. All of those verses you've brought up only refer to males refreshing their bowels. Would it be acceptable for a woman to let out a feminine toot once in a while, or do you think this would be considered a usurpation of a masculine activity by a weaker vessel?
Our thoughts are not your thoughts and your ways are not our ways, due to words. How we use words is not the same now as it was so long ago when they thought air, wind and breath set us on fire and caused us to move, just like trees moved in the wind and, like us, could play harps.

But it's not so. When a tree sways in the wind it's just the air. We sway too, but that's NOT the wind. When harps sing that's just the air but when we play them they're moved by the same thing that moves us. Which is NOT the air. Are gods just air?



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