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eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
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Default We need to get him a new name - 04-27-2007, 08:36 AM
Praise Jesus! Another soul has been saved!
Quote:
The 68-year-old Knievel was baptized during the Reverend Robert Schuller's "Hour of Power" service at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove.

Knievel spoke for about 20 minutes to more than 4,000 people who gathered inside the Crystal Cathedral for services, telling them how he'd been a sinner all his life and now things had changed.
Schuller said Knievel had called him a couple of weeks earlier, telling him, "Dr. Schuller, I've accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior."
Schuller said he has long admired Knievel for what the minster calls his "possibility thinking" in attempting motorcycle jumps that seemed impossible, but he had kept his distance because Knievel's private life was non-Christian.
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?se...cal&id=5230422

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
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Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-27-2007, 01:07 PM


I'm sorry, he still doesn't look like a True Christian™ to me!

His eyewear's oversized, as befits a Christian Man, but that shirt has got to GO! He looks like a walking advertisement for.....Drugs!!!

Unless, of course, the photo was taken afterwards, when he stopped off at Pasta Al's for a little Spiritual Refreshment.
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lilith lilith is offline
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lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-28-2007, 04:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post


I'm sorry, he still doesn't look like a True Christian™ to me!

His eyewear's oversized, as befits a Christian Man, but that shirt has got to GO! He looks like a walking advertisement for.....Drugs!!! *




Unless, of course, the photo was taken afterwards, when he stopped off at Pasta Al's for a little Spiritual Refreshment.

*And you know this how??
Isn't it interesting how many older people suddenly "find god",once they realise they're getting towards the end of their lives.

In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-28-2007, 04:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
*And you know this how??
Isn't it interesting how many older people suddenly "find god",once they realise they're getting towards the end of their lives.
Which means it is well past time that you gave some more serious thought to your imminent demise and the fate of your Aeternal soul in the hereafter. The first step is to give up you whoring with Ukranian sailors and plead with the Lord for forgiveness. There is no doubt that you have an awful lot to be forgiven for.

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-29-2007, 01:06 AM
Personally, I'm surprised he wasn't Saved already. We all know there are no atheists in foxholes, so how anyone could jump over a canyon without first checking that their soul was right with Jesus is beyond me.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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lilith lilith is offline
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lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-29-2007, 02:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
Which means it is well past time that you gave some more serious thought to your imminent demise and the fate of your Aeternal soul in the hereafter. The first step is to give up you whoring with Ukranian sailors and plead with the Lord for forgiveness. There is no doubt that you have an awful lot to be forgiven for.

Okaaaay,but only if you agree to hold your breath while waiting.

In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-29-2007, 03:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Praise Jesus! Another soul has been saved!

http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?se...cal&id=5230422
Old Evil has knocked his noggin' so often he's nuttier than Pastor Al's cabana boys. After fifty or sixty times under general anesthesia, it is no surprise he shows up at a fellow loon's place saying he is saved.


Let's recap.


He loves a hot machine between his legs, he wears floral shirts, his name is synonymous with the "Snake" river, can't stay married and does not get along with his children.

Hmmmm...


Sounds like a Baptist to me!



Bless you, my Jukes of Hazzard,
Father Mo








P.S. Is Pastor Al going to be out of jail in time to meet Evil before he changes his name to Dweezil?

A Cardinal in the making.

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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-29-2007, 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
Okaaaay,but only if you agree to hold your breath while waiting.
We all know how addicted you are to your whoredoms with Ukranian sailor's Lilith, and that it will be a long hard struggle for you. But with the Lord all is possible. Even the saving of an old Kiwi tart's soul.

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-29-2007, 12:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
He loves a hot machine between his legs, he wears floral shirts, his name is synonymous with the "Snake" river, can't stay married and does not get along with his children.
That statement would be a whole lot more effective if it didn't come from someone who apparently believes that a father is obliged to provide his children with support, guidance, and anal penetration.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: We need to get him a new name - 04-30-2007, 02:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
We all know how addicted you are to your whoredoms with Ukranian sailor's Lilith, and that it will be a long hard struggle for you. But with the Lord all is possible. Even the saving of an old Kiwi tart's soul.

I'm guessing this means he won't be holding his breath,then.

In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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