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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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(#21)
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 04:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Sorry, just moved house. Havent found my credit cards yet
Jesus only accepts real money nancy. U.S. Dollars will work. Our jew accountants are standing by.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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(#22)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 04:34 AM

I'm here to read and write posts, not make the webmaster rich.
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(#23)
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 04:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
I'm here to read and write posts, not make the webmaster rich.
Well princess, let me disabuse you of your incorrect assumptions. You have been called here by Jesus. Count yourself lucky. You have been given a chance to avoid spending eternity gargling satan's scalding hot spunk in hell. It is up to you to make the most of this rare opportunity.

I don't want you to think that you have any rights in God's forum. If you are here to mock and spit on Jesus, your stay here will be quite short.

And it is not any master of webs, or whatever demonic master you serve, who will be made rich. The Holy Bible tells us that Jesus demands a minimum of 10% of your gross worth each year. So hit that Paypal button and help us spread the word of God to all four corners of the earth.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 04:58 AM

Hey I'm not here to argue...
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(#25)
Old
Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Real American™ Saved 5 Years Ribfest '04 Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Real American™ Mission to Australia Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 05:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Hey I'm not here to argue...
Why exactly are you here, Jennifer. Or should I say Mike?

It's a bit odd, isn't it? What are you trying to achieve?


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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(#26)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 05:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus View Post
Why exactly are you here, Jennifer. Or should I say Mike?

It's a bit odd, isn't it? What are you trying to achieve?
Just here to read the forums and have a laugh.

Mike is dead isn't he?
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(#27)
Old
Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Real American™ Saved 5 Years Ribfest '04 Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Real American™ Mission to Australia Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 05:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Just here to read the forums and have a laugh.

Mike is dead isn't he?
To be honest, I don't remember what the DOF investigation concluded. I thought he was in jail for stealing men's underwear off clothes lines and had been sold for a packet of tobacco to an inmate called the "Horseman". Or was that Brother Dave?


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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(#28)
Old
Fish's Avatar
Fish (On Moderation) Fish is offline
Muttonheaded homer -- very confused young man
On the point of being banned for lying and libel
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 317
Join Date: Oct 2006
Fish is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 05:34 AM

Not sure. As far as I know Mikey is missing presumed dead.

I'm here, though, alive and well.
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(#29)
Old
Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Real American™ Saved 5 Years Ribfest '04 Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Real American™ Mission to Australia Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 05:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Not sure. As far as I know Mikey is missing presumed dead.

I'm here, though, alive and well.
You sound like a liebral heretic to me -- a false Christian. A lost soul in bondage to the forces of darkness. The Lord has doubtless brought you here to the Light of Landover for a reason.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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(#30)
Old
Enobarbus's Avatar
Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Real American™ Saved 5 Years Ribfest '04 Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Real American™ Mission to Australia Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Hi - 10-10-2006, 06:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
Your title says "Senior Member" not True Christian™.

Can a pastor turn my PM's on please?
You are quite sure about the significance of these titles? And of Brother Jon's status in the church?

It is just as well Mikey isn't here you perverted little faggit, or he'd be smacking your head in with a baseball bat for your insolence.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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