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Default Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-03-2014, 10:50 PM

Okay, so a little background on the problem. As some of you may already know, I'm a university academic. My role is predominantly research based and I cooperate closely in a small research group with (up until recently) 3 other people. We've been working together for a few months now. We all collaborate on the same stuff, apply for funding together etc. so we have a tight work environment.

Machine learning is a hot topic right now and corporate entities have just been plying us with funding recently so the faculty overlords decided to assign a 5th person to our group. I wasn't particularly thrilled at the prospect because I felt it might be a bit of a disruption but obviously I was going to do my best to welcome him all the same.

He turns up for the first time a few weeks ago and we get on really well. He's a bright young guy with plenty of great ideas and it only took him a few days to settle down. Anyway, last Monday we were standing around waiting for a faculty meeting and we got on to the subject of significant others. I told him at great length about my wife and then inquired about his. He replied that he was gay. I had an instinctive nervous response and my eyes grew wider than his rectal hole. He could tell that I was uncomfortable.

I forgot about the whole thing until the next day when I asked the rest of my colleagues whether they knew that he was gay. I knew they probably wouldn't have a problem with it. Computer science is full of self-proclaimed "rationalist" types. So long as 1 + 1 still equalled 2, these guys would be fine with going up the downwards escalator. Don't get me wrong, we get on well because we've fostered a great work environment and they never attempt to shove their lack of values down my throat but I wouldn't hang out with them out of choice.

One of my colleagues knew he was gay, the other two didn't. Apparently I didn't do a very good job of disguising my disgust because all three of them gave me a dirty, judging look -- as if I was the one going to hell! I didn't press the matter any further but I've started praying for those guys every night. I left a KJV Bible on each of their desks before I went home last Friday. I hope they see the error of their ways.

Anyway, my atheist colleagues aren't really the problematic element of the story. They're mostly harmless in a first-degree-burns-in-hell kind of way. The new guy - the faeces feeler - is the antagonist. This is a guy I have to fraternise with for up to 12 hours a day 5 days a week and he's a fag.

I started off just gently offering to pray with him and reminding him to pray to God in his own time. I informed him of ex-gay success stories and gave him messages of hope for recovery or, at the very least, abstinence. He didn't respond positively so I started leaving ex-gay literature on his desk during lunch breaks. I changed his Internet Explorer homepage to this forum. I stuck post-it notes of relevant quotes from Leviticus to his monitor. I programmed the GPS on his phone with directions to the nearest AIDS testing clinic. I offered to find him a particularly butch girlfriend. I broke into his house, abandoned his gay little poodle at the pound and poked holes in all his condoms. I programmed the GPS on his phone with directions to the nearest AIDS testing clinic again. In short, I did everything I could to guide this man to the LORD.

Yesterday, he turned around and said to me "I'm gay, you're going to have to handle it professionally". Well, naturally, I thought he was coming on to me the way these promiscuous fags always do. I snapped and asked him if he wanted to get stoned. Of course, I made hand gestures to suggest I was referring to marijuana use (I don't want to break the law, after all). While he was off getting lunch, I went outside and found several rocks which I then placed on his desk. He didn't say a single word to me for the rest of the day.

This morning, I arrived at work and I knew something was up because none of my colleagues were being very talkative. Turns out the nasty little homer has filed a formal complaint against me. Apparently, because of the "severity" of the complaint, it flew straight through the faculty and into the university's HR department. I was dealing with the big boys.

After a short meeting, it emerged that I've been suspended awaiting a disciplinary hearing. From what I could gather, the perfidious atheists have betrayed me and backed up the bum bandit. No wonder they weren't saying much to me this morning.

I calmly explained that the presence of Dora the Colon Explorer in our research group was a clear violation of both my right to religious freedom (heh, and they call this a Christian country!) and my right to freedom of association. I made it clear that I couldn't afford to associate with a vile sinner; that the stakes were nothing less than my immortal soul. My pleas fell on the deaf ears of a secular institution.

Unfortunately, these days the rights of soulless sodomites are valued more than the rights of decent Christians. Frankly, I don't know what to do next. I'm tempted to walk away on principle. I don't need to work anywhere that sanctions and encourages religious persecution and discrimination.

What should I do now? What would you do, friends?


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Default Re: Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-03-2014, 11:43 PM

It's pretty clear you acted in your own self defense Brother Mee. The homers act as though everyone in academia is gay and this individual was attempting to violate the sanctity of your rectum.

It's time to blanket the administration with Chick Tracts to let everyone know the depth of depravity of this menace.

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http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0084/0084_01.asp


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-04-2014, 12:53 AM

I'm thinking you should find a new employer. If they are secular, check that:
1. There are separate restrooms for homersexurals
2. All homosexurals must wear surgical gloves and surgical masks at all times, to help prevent the spread of the aids.
3. Strictly no fraternisation with non homersexurals
4. Under no circumstances should they ever have private offices - they must be forced to work in open work areas. Who knows what they might get up to in a private office?
5. In case they break any of these rules, and so that everyone knows who they are, they should be forced to wear a symbol indicating they are homersexurals. (A pink triangle could be suitable)
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Default Re: Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-04-2014, 02:43 AM

Dear Brother,

Unfortunately it is the same thing happening everywhere. You defend Jesus and the establishment that has been hijacked with sodomists makes up new laws and regulations to silence you!

You chances of winning the secular fight do not seem to be good, I'm most afraid.

But you have already won the most important battle years ago, that for your own SOUL. As you are saved, the security of Eternal Bliss outshines your sufferings on earth, albeit they be severe!!

Matthew 5:10-11.

As you have a pure soul, you can wager if it advances our Lord's mission more to fight this one battle, possibly lose but just perhaps sow some seeds of the Good Word onto heathen brains! Or, you could play along, give the answers the godless require and stay there to evangelize to the vile scum your co-workers have become. It would not be lying in the eyes of GOD and only that matters!!

You can be the Amos 3:6 for them if you stay and distribute the material our Brethren suggested.

Whichever you choose, Brother, our prayers are with you!!!!!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-05-2014, 01:34 AM

I believe the situation would have been improved if you had actually thrown the stones at the homosexual. They are godless sissies who will act up when they think there is a Yankee Federal Judge to support them, but if you smack them a few times, they usually realize the error of their ways.

I believe that is what Jesus would do.


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Default Re: Religious persecution. What to do? - 06-05-2014, 03:00 AM

Dr. Mee,

It is apparent that these nancy-boys were trying to impress you and turn you into one of them. PRAISE GOD you are under the protection of Christ's powerful blood, making you immune to the lust and wanton desires of faggots (may they be doused in donkey urine and set fire to). As a handsome, attractive, virile, desirable fellow, whose education and status in the world sets you apart from most, I frankly am surprised this hasn't happened before, particularly in a workplace like yours.

Bob Jones University or Liberty University would probably be the safest place for you to seek employment. Or: have you considered Freehold University? You will NOT find a homer there, God be praised!

Regardless of your decision, know that you did all the right things. I agree that stoning them right away would probably have prevented some of the subsequent problems, but I sense in my spirit that you were trying to shew Christian virtues of charity, patience, and justice. This is honorable and commendable, my handsome, attractive, virile, desirable fellow.

Should you ever come upon similar situations in the future, ask yourself what our Savior would do at that moment. Pray to Him (HE IS ALWAYS WITH YOU!) and trust in the voices in your head - they will be the voices of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Those voices will tell you exactly what to do and how to do it.

Then walk away, quickly, shaking the dust from your shoes (and covering any prints). May the light of our LORD be your guide and may His powerful, sweet blood always cover you.

In Christian Love,
NRL


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