Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:04 AM

Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! I'm sure we'll be helping lots of lost homers in the future. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, our help will work better than any feel-good, false Christian nonsense. So, even though our Lord Jesus Christ will probably burn these homers in Hell, let's do our best to help our "back door" Christians.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-09-2007 at 05:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
TwinkBoy's Avatar
TwinkBoy TwinkBoy is offline
CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
Forum Member
 
Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:51 AM

Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
Leviticus 20:13!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
You mean like GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:36 AM

Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
TwinkBoy's Avatar
TwinkBoy TwinkBoy is offline
CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
Forum Member
 
Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Open myself to Jesus? We'll what do you think he has up his..ah..sleeve? And, will I require a chastity belt? LMAO!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Backdoor? Hey, love, that ALWAYS gets MY attention, if you know what I mean (snicker, snicker). Oh yes, I've heard of Teddy's "miracle cure" and, frankly love, its a FARCE!! Now, do I or do I not want a TASTE of Jesus' love for myself? Hmmm....well...love...what flavor do you think he is??

I'm just a WILD and an UNTAMED thing.............


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"

Last edited by TwinkBoy; 02-08-2007 at 04:29 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:38 AM

Well, TB (yes, like the disease), do you have any evidence that Ted Haggard has NOT been cured?
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Virginia Day Templeton's Avatar
Virginia Day Templeton Virginia Day Templeton is offline
Christ's Battle Axe
 

True Christian™ True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ True Christian Beauty Bronze Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Most Obedient Pro-Life Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Mama Grizzly Trumpette Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Roper Crossburn Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Republican Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Leviticus 20:13!
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.


Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member

True Heterosexual™ Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
Poetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-09-2007, 05:20 PM

I hear Ted got his homocure from a "divinity mill", via "coupon redemption".


Nonetheless, it all seems to be on the level, despite the pseudonymous namings.



Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-26-2007, 08:04 AM

For those of you sodomites who are listening to Jesus and doing your best to fight those satanic urges, THIS Ebay auction might be of interest. Better hurry!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Eggadmin's Avatar
Eggadmin Eggadmin is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Egypt
Eggadmin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 03-03-2008, 10:59 PM

hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
ForGodsSake's Avatar
ForGodsSake ForGodsSake is offline
X-Aussie Evangelist
True Christian™
 
Posts: 496
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Way Way out there somewhere i think!!!!!
ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 03-04-2008, 03:45 AM

Heathen


(2 Peter 3:10)

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 03-04-2008, 03:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eggadmin View Post
hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact
Are you a sodomite? Is that why you posted here? Is your camel-wife a male?

Please go to the "introductions" section and make your own thread. Tell us about yourself and why you are here.

Try using the caps key to post in proper American. And please spare us the details of your sodomite camel relationships, okay? Jesus doesn't want to hear about that.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Eggadmin's Avatar
Eggadmin Eggadmin is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Egypt
Eggadmin is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 03-04-2008, 12:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by "ForGodsSake"
Heathen
i not heathen. i good muslim.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
ForGodsSake's Avatar
ForGodsSake ForGodsSake is offline
X-Aussie Evangelist
True Christian™
 
Posts: 496
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Way Way out there somewhere i think!!!!!
ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.ForGodsSake has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 03-04-2008, 01:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eggadmin View Post
i not heathen. i good muslim.
Child killer. Did not the blessed Pastor Ezekiel tell you to introduce yourself. Your only making it worse for your self.


(2 Peter 3:10)

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Tallywacker Hater's Avatar
Tallywacker Hater Tallywacker Hater is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 210
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In a nuthouse.
Tallywacker Hater is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-06-2008, 01:34 AM

Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-06-2008, 04:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara Mo View Post
Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?
Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Tallywacker Hater's Avatar
Tallywacker Hater Tallywacker Hater is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 210
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: In a nuthouse.
Tallywacker Hater is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-06-2008, 07:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!
Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-06-2008, 07:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara Mo View Post
Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?
Those questions have been answered. Jesus considers you a filthy vile pervert, end of story.

Quote:
Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
anal sex causes ass demons, death style choice, fags cause the aids, marriage is not for you fags, masterbation = gay sex, not gay, radical gay agenda

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved