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Default Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 03:42 PM

The 6th Circuit Court of Appeals is currently hearing arguments for and against gay marriage from 4 states simultaneously, and the good Christian lawyers fighting against this ultimate perversion now face a seemingly impossible challenge: thinking up a secular reason why gays shouldn't get married that won't get them laughed out of the court room.

Apparently they aren't allowed to use religious arguments because of some nonsense about the First Amendment or something. But that's okay! There are plenty of secular reasons why the government would have a vested interest in stopping gay marriage, and we are going to list them here and forward the best arguments to the lawyers representing the cause of traditional marriage in the courts, so they don't get embarrassed like they did in front of the Supreme Court last year.

To summarize, posted arguments must be non-religious and serve a legitimate societal or government interest.

I'll start.

Secular Reason Number 1: Gay marriage is a controversial and new idea that will cause an increase in stress and heart attacks amongst conservatives who cannot bear the outrage any longer. There is also potential for an increase in auto accidents as motorists gawk at same-sex couples in their "just married" car.

2. Divorce courts will be swamped with same-sex couples who want to end their marriages after only two months, due to the inability of homosexuals to maintain stable and loving relationships.



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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 03:51 PM

Secular reason number 3:

Secular health care cannot deal with homermarriage. As homer intercourse becomes more and more popular with 'marriage', the incidence of the sickness called 'gay bowel syndrome' will increase in a geometric series, i.e., exponentially. And with the Ubamacare, the nature and causes of the wealth of the nation will be undermined.

Bankcruptcy.

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Yours, secularly,

Elmer

PS: I find it very hard not to seek Scriptural advice and I really do not wish to do this again. Still, I understand that also secular strategies are required to fight this terrible plague. Thank you!


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 04:04 PM

This does feel like a very strange and unnecessary thing to do. However....

Secular Reason No. 4:

Permitting same-sex marriage is a form of cultural endorsement of homersexuality. This will lead to children thinking it is okay, even encouraged, and thus more children will grow up to be gaywise.

This will exacerbate the problems already listed in Secular Reasons 1, 2 and 3.


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 04:31 PM

Secular Reason 5: Paperwork. The burden of changing all the legal documents to reflect a perverted marriage is time and money intensive. We should be using our resources to keep out those immigrant kids who just want to steal jobs and rape women.


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 06:13 PM

Secular Reason 6: We conservatives understand that rights are a zero-sum game. It follows that giving "rights" to queers necessarily comes at the expense of rights for normal people.

Secular Reason 7: Same-sex "marriage" harms a country's economy. Spain and Portugal recognized it and are now economic basket cases.

Secular Reason 8: As Bishop Harry Jackson (a clean and articulate Negro who is a credit to his race) has pointed out, there is a causal link from recognition of same-sex "marriage" in parts of the country in recent years to the breakdown of the African-American family across the nation since the sixties.


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 06:39 PM

Secular Reason 9:

It encourages married men to have sex changes and become lesbians, in the knowledge that they can still remain married to their wives and thus avoid costly divorce settlements. This is both expensive in terms of public health care expenditure and bad for lawyers' fees (and thus anti-Simetic).


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 06:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Secular Reason 7: Same-sex "marriage" harms a country's economy. Spain and Portugal recognized it and are now economic basket cases.
Pastor, I wonder if this is because lesbianism promotes feminism, and feminism is just a modern day word for Oppositional Defiance Disorder. People can't work if they can't follow directions.


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 07:41 PM

Secular reason 10: It is clear, that children who are raised in homer families, are grown to be homers, vegetarians, liberals and pacifists.

Soon there is not enough real men to serve in military.

Communists takes over the world (which actually is homers long term goal)
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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 07:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Pastor, I wonder if this is because lesbianism promotes feminism, and feminism is just a modern day word for Oppositional Defiance Disorder. People can't work if they can't follow directions.
Sister, this is an excellent observation and leads me to propose Secular Reason 11:

Even social "scientists" admit that there are reasons for men and women to play very different roles within the family unit. If you have 2 men or 2 women, who decides which one goes out to work and which one acts as home-maker?

Which leads on to Secular Reason 12:

In all civilized countries (and most primitive ones too) men earn more than women. The result of same-sex marriage would be that the male couples would be substantially richer than the female ones. Secularists would find this unacceptable. Their only solution would be to equalize male and female pay. BUT:

1. If they raise female earnings to male levels, this would have an extremely negative impact on corporate profits.

2. If they lower male earnings to female levels, this would have an adverse effect on retailers (and thus on corporate profits).

There seems to be no third way.


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 08:04 PM

NUMBER 13: It is unfair, ergo unsafe, to less fortunate children whose parents don't love them enough to home school them. With this rejection comes peer pressure and unsafe practices.
With peer pressure comes cell phones, video games, the flamboyant clothes, salon hair dos and finally their giving in to the gay death style!
Stop this, you have that power............ for the children!


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 08:18 PM

Number 14:

(I'm not very good at "secular speak" so can someone please clean this up before it is submitted to Congress?)

Gay "marriage" will lead to an overcrowding of mental facilities, and even homicide.

The Avowed Homosexual primarily only sees other gays in dim lighting, as it prowls from bar to bar in search of sexual violation and gratification. The loud disco music also keeps them from speaking with, and therefor truly knowing, the fellow deviants.

But in the 24/7 cold-light-of-day environment of domesticated marriage, the gay will be unceasingly confronted with homosexuality face-to-face. The annoying characteristics of the HomoGay will be constantly thrust-in-his-face: The gossiping, the shrill laughter, the endless prancing in high heels that sounds like a team of reindeer on a roof.

All this, combined with sleep deprivation, will cause one partner to kill the other within a matter of days....then the resulting horror and guilt at/from killing his own mirror-image will send the survivor to the nuthouse.

The massive number of these inevitable murder trials will clog the legal system (RUN ON PUBLIC FUNDS, MIND YOU!) and the asylum bills will Also be sent to Joe-the-Plumber/Taxpayer.

I do not think this is fair.

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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-07-2014, 08:24 PM

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Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
But in the 24/7 cold-light-of-day environment of domestic marriage, the gay will be unceasingly confronted with homosexuality face-to-face. The annoying characteristics of the HomoGay will be constantly thrust-in-his-face: The gossiping, the shrill laughter, the endless prancing in high heels that sounds like a team of reindeer on a roof.
And in the case of the women gays, in addition to the coarse jokes and gruff, pseudo-masculine tones there will be the economic issue of fashion. I believe dungarees are mostly imported from China, to the detriment of the American garment trade.


2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-08-2014, 04:55 AM

15:

Foreign relations.

The friendly nation of Russia and her leader, Mr. Putin, are effectively getting rid of all homertrash, they have absolutely no talk on "gay marriage" and have strict laws against homerpropagation.

Any move towards "gay marriage" in America will result in difficulties regarding the probably friendliest foreign nation on earth.


Yours secularly,

Elmer

PS: I still think this is VERY difficult without referring to some VERY RELEVANT VERSES, but I know the spiritual defense of real marriage can take place elsewhere.


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-08-2014, 07:39 PM

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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 08-08-2014, 08:35 PM

Who would have thunk it....Butt sex causes global warming!


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 09-08-2014, 04:46 AM

I am too secular type.

And I oppose Homosexual marriage. Because nature had made us to feel attraction to opposite Gender. But this one violates it.

Basically homosexuals have painful personal history.

But it does not give me right to stone them to death. We should rather help those people so they can get back to normal life.
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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 09-08-2014, 06:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indian Sinner View Post
I am too secular type.

And I oppose Homosexual marriage...H8Red deleted...
Then you're an *** donkey***hole.

These people at least have a reason (eternal salvation) to *** try and correct *** with other people's personal lives. You do it out of sheer ignorance and hatred.



Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 09-13-2014 at 08:27 AM. Reason: Spelling.
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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 09-08-2014, 12:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indian Sinner View Post
I am too secular type.

And I oppose Homosexual marriage. Because nature had made us to feel attraction to opposite Gender. But this one violates it.

Basically homosexuals have painful personal history.

But it does not give me right to stone them to death. We should rather help those people so they can get back to normal life.
What a [NAUGHTY WORD REMOVED BY MODERATOR] you are.

You may as well join Jesus and his flock for all the empathy and human kindness you have.

My mum's gay and she has a great life. She had a rough time of it when she came out but that was because of people lie you i.e. [NAUGHTY WORD REMOVED BY MODERATOR] .


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 09-08-2014 at 01:24 PM. Reason: Let's keep it clean for Jesus!
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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 09-08-2014, 12:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indian Sinner View Post
Because nature had made us to feel attraction to opposite Gender.
In my case, nature did something rather different. Are you going to pretend to follow nature while simultaneously gainsaying it?

Quote:
Basically homosexuals have painful personal history.
Please do tell me about my personal history.

Quote:
We should rather help those people so they can get back to normal life.
Because ex-gay therapy has such a high success rate.


This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture only. --ADMIN
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Default Re: Secular Arguments Against Gay Marriage: Let's Make History - 09-08-2014, 07:03 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
<<<God-hating garbage removed>>>
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
<<<God-hating garbage removed>>>
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver Brendan Hayve View Post
<<<God-hating garbage removed>>>
What is this, some kind of a homo reunion on a Christian forum?!?

Stop speaking nonsense, you heathens. Indian Sinner's opinion proves that God's laws are the same as common sense. It's common sense that same-sex couples are abhorrent (Leviticus 20:13). It is also common sense that mixed-race couples are abhorrent (Deuteronomy 7:2-3). It is also common sense that women are inferior to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). And obviously, it is also common sense that white folks are superior to everybody else (Genesis 9:25-27).

God gave us reason, and therefore, any reasonable person sees God's will as common sense.

I will pray for you, Indian Sinner! You are on a good path, follow it!
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