The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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A retarded introduction from retard Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist -
02-21-2016, 04:54 PM
Dear all,
I come in peace. I am Naomi, a 16-year-old man and a retard in the Third Flame of the Church of Satan (Which you can visit here: *** removed link to gay porn *** While I am not a Christian (as I am a full Satanist, and I hope we can respect each others' beliefs), I still hope to learn about the Christian God and His ways. I hope despite our differences, I can be welcome here. After all, God and Satan used to be good friends, and I hope we can be good friends as well and achieve a harmonious coexistence together.
Blessed be.
Last edited by Zechariah Smyth; 02-21-2016 at 05:05 PM.
Reason: Removed inappropriate link.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
Dear all,
I come in peace. I am Naomi, a 16-year-old man and Priest of the Third Flame of the Church of Satan (Which you can visit here: *** removed link to gay porn *** While I am not a Christian (as I am a full Satanist, and I hope we can respect each others' beliefs), I still hope to learn about the Christian God and His ways. I hope despite our differences, I can be welcome here. After all, God and Satan used to be good friends, and I hope we can be good friends as well and achieve a harmonious coexistence together.
Blessed be.
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Where in the KJV Bible does it describe Satan and God as "friends" ?
Book, chapter, and verse please.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:17 PM
I think you are probably an evil person Naomi. Why do you claim to be a man when you have the name of a woman?
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
I think you are probably an evil person Naomi. Why do you claim to be a man when you have the name of a woman?
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Dear Mr Possibly Retarded Pothead,
Naomi is a common men's name in my culture, just as how Andrea is a common male name in France but is considered feminine in America.
I hope we can be good friends.
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
[...], just as how Andrea is a common male name in France [...].
I hope we can be good friends.
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Hello Naomi,
Do you have a multitude of examples to show us this is common?
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:51 PM
My apologies - it appears that I have gotten the European Countries mixed up. Andrea is a common male name in Greece and Italy. It comes from the word "Andreas", meaning Male.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
My apologies - it appears that I have gotten the European Countries mixed up. Andrea is a common male name in Greece and Italy. It comes from the word "Andreas", meaning Male.
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You are clearly retarded. Do you drool?
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 06:10 PM
No, sir, I do not drool.
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Unsaved trash, Obese Teenage Troll
Under Investigation
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Posts: 8
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Close to God
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 06:23 PM
Welcome, Satanist. I was just wondering why my name is pink. It's pretty cool.
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
No, sir, I do not drool.
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Interesting..
And what if you see this?
Spaghetti with spinach pesto and meat balls.
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 06:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
...I still hope to learn about the Christian God and His ways...
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So go away and read the Bible. Win-win.
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 07:52 PM
Would it not be fruitful to learn of God from His advocates themselves?
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
Would it not be fruitful to learn of God from His advocates themselves?
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Sure, if you're really trying for Salvation. If you're just looking for a Gotcha! moment, we've seen it all. We won't be mocked.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 09:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
I am Naomi, a 16-year-old man and Priest of the Third Flame of the Church of Satan
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How original. For once I would like to see a normal member of wiccan/satan's whatever/druid etc. faith, but no. You must be about 2000th priest we've got here. So tell me now, how does it work out for you, when everyone is a priest, a high-priest, a priestess or a high-priestess making up different belief systems as they go?
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 09:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
How original. For once I would like to see a normal member of wiccan/satan's whatever/druid etc. faith, but no. You must be about 2000th priest we've got here. So tell me now, how does it work out for you, when everyone is a priest, a high-priest, a priestess or a high-priestess making up different belief systems as they go?
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Brother, I think this is all some elaborate on-line LARPing community.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
[...]
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Hello Mary,
Is that something like this?
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: A retarded introduction from retard Naomi Forest -
02-21-2016, 10:59 PM
Precisely.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-22-2016, 01:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
Dear Mr Possibly Retarded Pothead,
Naomi is a common men's name in my culture, just as how Andrea is a common male name in France but is considered feminine in America.
I hope we can be good friends.
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NIRL (that means NNo In Real Life, ICYDN). Naomi, Andrea, Lynne and Sydney are all weak names and reserved for women.
All french are limp wristed mimes who run from their own shadows.
There is a reason french men ride with baguettes in their baskets, if you know what I mean (IYKWIM).
My kids have been teaching me all the Internets slag. LOL (Laughing Out Loud, neat huh?)
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved trash, zit-faced witch
Under Investigation
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Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: God and Satan's BFF
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-22-2016, 01:31 PM
Thank you for the kind welcome. I am not deserving of such graciousness.
I would like to ask a few questions about Christianity if possible, mainly how the Holy Trinity poops. If the Holy Trinity is three beings in one, how does it poop? Do they share one ***the dirty word "butthole" removed by moderator*** or something?
Looking forward to an answer from the informed,
Naomi the Butthole-Fetishist, Retard in the Church of Satan
Malachi 2:3
Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: A kind introduction from Naomi Forest -
02-22-2016, 03:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Forest
...I would like to ask a few questions about Christianity if possible, mainly how the Holy Trinity poops...
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Is there anything in the Bible that says you have to know that in order to be Saved™?
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