The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-04-2016, 11:34 PM
What's with this "we" stuff, Mr. Allen?
Are you seriously considering putting away your foul, sinful ways and joining the Body of Christ, where we wait with eager anticipation the return of our LORD, ready to wage battle upon the heathen from the skies (Revelation 19:14)?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-04-2016, 11:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by magnus allen
Dear , Owen
How nice of you to visit us. Of course, this is no coincidence. Jesus often guides sinners to our Forum to show them the correct ways of Worship and Repentance and we are most graceful hosts!
Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
As you might have noticed, we belong to the Baptist True Christian™ denomination. What do you belong to and how did Jesus enter your life? Have you attempts at begetting been successful so far?
Yours in Christ,
Magnus
|
Sweetie,
while I agree with you that Brother Elmer White is a great example to follow, plagiarizing his entire post is not really a great way to do it.
How dumb are you, anyway, that you cannot come up with stuff of your own?
Here is a book you might enjoy, if someone reads it and eplains it to you:
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 6
Join Date: May 2016
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-06-2016, 10:47 AM
Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-06-2016, 10:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGeekOwen
Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.
|
Friend, I was a revival preacher before I discovered Landover Baptist. I talked with the and good Pastors here for many a month and learned at their feet. It was LBC that taught me the riches of God's Kingdom were not to be had in tents, but by setting up stake with like minded seekers of Divine Treasure. And that treasure was to be found in spades here.
I thought before that I knew it all, the Bible cover to cover. But what I knew about the true nature of God was but a shadow of the knowledge to be gained in the gilded pews of LBC. You'll be richer for it, and in return will make the whole world richer too.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-06-2016, 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGeekOwen
Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.
|
I'm a little confused I have to say.
There is only one Bible and that is the Bible(KJV1611). All the others are obvious mistranslations, interpretations and lies made by forigners to make good Christians look bad.
I hope that clears that up for you.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-06-2016, 12:20 PM
Owen, I am going to say this only once. If you are jerking our chain, if you turn out to be some faker who breaks my pastor's heart...
Well, let's just say God is a lot more forgiving than I am, and leave it at that.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Serving Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
|
|
Re: Sinner on board -
05-06-2016, 03:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatGeekOwen
Thank you all for your kind words of welcome. I feel I have found a place where I can truly come to know Jesus and accept him into my heart. I am studying the Bible more, but I am unsure which version of the infallible word of God I am meant to be using.
|
Let me offer you a provisional welcome to this Godly forum, Owen. We are Christian here and friendly. In fact, we are the friendliest and most welcoming site on the interwebs. All Christians are wanted here for fellowship and praise.
Sadly, Christians seem scarce these days. Most who come here turn out to be heathen wretches. I see that you are from godless England. Worse, you bear a Welsh name. The Welsh are known to be a gin besotted race of cattle thieves, brigands and Democrats. It would be wonderful to find a Christian in such a tribe, but we here have never met one. You may be the first. What say you?
God Bless!
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|