[Phebe Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

Sister Phebe,

I am but a humble and simple man. I cannot compete with Brother James' billions or Reverend Jim's fleet of 747s.

But when the 4th mortgage on our single wide is approved, we''ll have enough to get by. Maybe even a honeymoon at Disneyland, if we are careful! Provided I can get the brakes on the Pinto fixed in time, of course.

Wealth isn't everything. Jesus tells us!



And the trailer park needs you. So many fallen females with chemical dependancies. A strong Christian woman to testify and save their souls. Praise Jesus!

Don't give up on us yet, Sister.

Yours in Christ!

Brother Rubicon,

Money is the least of my worries and does not enter my mind one iota in this decision and in fact as Rev Jim at least knows, I am independently wealthy in my own right. What did alarm me however was your alluding to be more than happy to take both myself AND Sister Sylvia on. Whilst polygamy may be an appealing prospect to some, it certainly holds no interest for me I am afraid.

I prayed long over this and the following verses near jumped out hit me in the face:

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Note, it is singular "THE WIFE"

as is the same in Proverbs 5:19

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.


My breasts are here to satisfy, as is my loving hind and I am more than happy to serve up caviar if need be, but it must be only my breasts, hind and my appetizers and of course my delectable pie, my husband desires, ravishes and wants to eat.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow

Brother Rubicon,

Money is the least of my worries and does not enter my mind one iota in this decision and in fact as Rev Jim at least knows, I am independently wealthy in my own right. What did alarm me however was your alluding to be more than happy to take both myself AND Sister Sylvia on. Whilst polygamy may be an appealing prospect to some, it certainly holds no interest for me I am afraid.

I prayed long over this and the following verses near jumped out hit me in the face:

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Note, it is singular "THE WIFE"

as is the same in Proverbs 5:19

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.


My breasts are here to satisfy, as is my loving hind and I am more than happy to serve up caviar if need be, but it must be only my breasts, hind and my appetizers and of course my delectable pie, my husband desires, ravishes and wants to eat.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

Oh Sister!

I had no idea. Umm.. exactly how many shekels do you have? I only ask thinking of all we could accomplish for Jesus!

Trust me, it was a momentary lapse of character when I suggested there were other bosoms for me as well. It will NEVER happen again!

With my hand on the KJV, I promise my fidelity to only you and Jesus Christ, for as long as you live!

I beg your forgiveness and look forward to our courting as soon as possible. I trust your funds are liquid so that we may serve Him immediately?

You don't believe in any of those silly secular pre-nuptial agreements, do you?

Most certainly and truly all yours in Christ!

[Warner S. Davidson]

Sister Wintersnow

I have had quite an eye for you in the very short time I have been a member of LBC.
I am also grateful for all your help and support in my quest to become a Proud and True Christian™ member of the Landover™ congregation

However I cannot compete with these solid, Godley and dependable True Christian™ men as I am a still but a reforming sinner who’s sinful and decadent past may bring shame on your highly respected and Godly self.

Although I have more than sufficient income to keep you very well in a large stately home with a large kitchen situated on a large inner suburban estate in Melbourne's exclusive and leafy Toorak and a Ferrari, Hummer, and Statesman (Australian Cadillac) in the garage, the facts are that all these assets and chattels are ultimately the “wages of sin” from my previous un Godly life –

Something that I am sure will not “sit well” with your Pure™ and True Christian™ self

As I am yet to become a True Christian™ therefore I must accept that I am ineligible to court you as I could potentially shame both you and the LBC ministry.

So with much pondering and a heavy heart I regretfully withdraw my candidacy

[Phebe Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Warner S. Davidson

Sister Wintersnow

I have had quite an eye for you in the very short time I have been a member of LBC.
I am also grateful for all your help and support in my quest to become a Proud and True Christian™ member of the Landover™ congregation

However I cannot compete with these solid, Godley and dependable True Christian™ men as I am a still but a reforming sinner who’s sinful and decadent past may bring shame on your highly respected and Godly self.

Although I have more than sufficient income to keep you very well in a large stately home with a large kitchen situated on a large inner suburban estate in Melbourne's exclusive and leafy Toorak and a Ferrari, Hummer, and Statesman (Australian Cadillac) in the garage, the facts are that all these assets and chattels are ultimately the “wages of sin” from my previous un Godly life –

Something that I am sure will not “sit well” with your Pure™ and True Christian™ self

As I am yet to become a True Christian™ therefore I must accept that I am ineligible to court you as I could potentially shame both you and the LBC ministry.

So with much pondering and a heavy heart I regretfully withdraw my candidacy

Oh Brother Warner,

You know with my work, I deal with many a whore, whether they be male or female, so your past dalliances of fornication, drug taking and all around sordid activity would play no part in my decision. I do find you an incredibly Godly man too, however, despite the multiple platinum tithes we could get out of the "richers" living around you in Toorak, I know for sure that I could never live in Melbourne. There are too many greenie homers there and that horrible AFL game openly seduces many a man to The Gay. Even though you are, I sense a strong man, sometimes the frenzy of a Grand Final could well sway you and then I would be back at square one.

Oh gosh... perhaps I should have read your entire comment before replying. hmm...you withdrew.... nevermind...

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[James Dewitt]

It seems as if the stable of suitors is shrinking. I on the other hand am still here.
Mrs Phebe, one thing is for sure. You will never have to worry about me being led astray by wayward harlots, wanton whores and the likes. I am a firm believer in one wife and one husband.
Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

I do so love it when you sight scripture, I get a tingle from head to toes.

Diligently Yours James

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

It seems as if the stable of suitors is shrinking. I on the other hand am still here.
Mrs Phebe, one thing is for sure. You will never have to worry about me being led astray by wayward harlots, wanton whores and the likes. I am a firm believer in one wife and one husband.
Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

I do so love it when you sight scripture, I get a tingle from head to toes.

Diligently Yours James

Sister Phebe,

Brother James is just trying to say all the right things. Surely you can see this. Do we know WHY his last wife left him, hmm?

Yours when you are ready!

[James Dewitt]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

Sister Phebe,

Brother James is just trying to say all the right things. Surely you can see this. Do we know WHY his last wife left him, hmm?

Yours when you are ready!

She did not leave me, I left her . And it was approved by God and the Pastors.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=42244


Now leave my ex-wife where ever she is/ may God have pity on her whore soul out of this!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

She did not leave me, I left her . And it was approved by God and the Pastors.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=42244


Now leave my ex-wife where ever she is/ may God have pity on her whore soul out of this!

Brother James,

Seems to be some anger still over your breakup of two months ago.

I'm only looking out for our dear Sister. It's likely she will choose you because of your billions. After hearing nothing from our Sister in Christ, I concede defeat.

But will you hold your temper? Not beat her if the prime rib is overcooked? The toilets less than antiseptic? The roof not shingled within a day?

Bless your union!

In Christ!

[Phebe Carlyle]

Ahem,

I have not replied as I have yet to make up my mind!

Brother Rubicon, other's money means nothing to me so that does not even enter the equation.

I do however, have to know that my beau would support my being a working gal for the Lord. As it is, only Brother James has put forth that he is OK with my career pursuit and to me, that is very appealing.

I also don't know what my feelings as to pre-nups have to do with anything.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

PS. My Prime Rib is NEVER overcooked!!!!!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

Brother James,

Seems to be some anger still over your breakup of two months ago.

I'm only looking out for our dear Sister. It's likely she will choose you because of your billions. After hearing nothing from our Sister in Christ, I concede defeat.

But will you hold your temper? Not beat her if the prime rib is overcooked? The toilets less than antiseptic? The roof not shingled within a day?

Bless your union!

In Christ!

Brother Rubicon,
Are you asking Brother James to treat Mrs.P as anything less than his wife?Why are you insulting her so,? I know I am not involved in this but someone has to stand up for Mrs. P and protect her honor.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Sister Phebe:

Whatever decision you arrive at it will be the right one.
Brothers Dewitt and Rubicon appear to be fine, well meaning and Godly True Christian™ Gentlemen.

My ineligibility to win your Godly heart pains me deeply but I have learnt already that this is the path that God has set for me in his grand plan

I understand also that this is also his punishment for my previous decadent and carnal indulgences of many years past

Sister, I wish you the very best for your future marital bliss

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis

Brother Rubicon,
Are you asking Brother James to treat Mrs.P as anything less than his wife?Why are you insulting her so,? I know I am not involved in this but someone has to stand up for Mrs. P and protect her honor.

Not at all. I'm sure she can plow 3 acres and paint the house before she has bacon and eggs on the table in the morning. She seems as reliable and trustworthy as a Joo in a pawn shop!

Just trying to give the woman a break if she doesn't live up to his expectations. He has anger management issues, after all...


Yours in Christ!

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by Warner S. Davidson

Sister Phebe:

Whatever decision you arrive at it will be the right one.
Brothers Dewitt and Rubicon appear to be fine, well meaning and Godly True Christian™ Gentlemen.

My ineligibility to win your Godly heart pains me deeply but I have learnt already that this is the path that God has set for me in his grand plan

I understand also that this is also his punishment for my previous decadent and carnal indulgences of many years past

Sister, I wish you the very best for your future marital bliss

Bless you Brother Warner,

You know my cousin Emily Beth is still available:

As you can she, her face radiates righteousness (to the extent that a woman can be righteous)and a solid walk with Jesus! She has, over the years, had issues with self-esteem, but none of us know why. Praise Jesus, after some counseling, she now walks with a confident stride and is as happy as can be in her womanhood and charm.

I wouldn't trust just any Christian with my dear cousin, but with you I would. Say the word, and we will arrange her travel to meet you. She is so excited, her bags are already packed! The eight children will be with her brother until after the wedding, but they too cannot wait to meet their new Daddy!

This lady will give you all you could ever want! At 32, another 8 children is no problem. She knows her place in the Christian home, loves to quote from Judges and desperately needs a man to share her walk with Christ! She treasures private time snuggling and is very affectionate!

May Christ be with you both!
Attached Images

[James Dewitt]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

Brother James,

Seems to be some anger still over your breakup of two months ago.

I'm only looking out for our dear Sister. It's likely she will choose you because of your billions. After hearing nothing from our Sister in Christ, I concede defeat.

But will you hold your temper? Not beat her if the prime rib is overcooked? The toilets less than antiseptic? The roof not shingled within a day?

Bless your union!

In Christ!

Anger? I was married to the slut for 23 years, I had every intention of growing old with her. I am on the way home from a business meeting, I am told to stop at a motel where if find my wife in bed with two nigras and you wonder why I am angry!

Cooking, my Ex- wife where ever she is, may god have pity on her cold harlot heart , was a dago for the first 5 years of out marriage I lived on spaghetti and meat balls. If I had prime rib it was at a restaurant. For the last 15 years I have had a maid that has cooked , cleaned, maintained my home. My ex wife was to busy shopping to do any woman's work. When I built this house I had the finest of every thing installed in the kitchen, she never stepped foot inside of it, not even to make me a sandwich! She made me a pie once, it came out of a box
And yes it was my fault, I let her get away with it.
So I have to tell ya if Sweet Mrs Phebe can make a home made pie and a ham sandwich I will be a happy camper. Any thing over that is perfection.
Now as for my money, and on I do not have a billion dollars, damn stock market anyway. Lets just say I am very comfortable. Mrs Phebe has never asked about my net worth and I have not inquired about hers. I will give it away if she wants me to, I sure as heck hope she does not ask me to do that, but I will.
Money is not every thing, but it does make life a bit easier.

[James Dewitt]

My dear sweet Phebe, I do hope all is well with you today. I hope that your terrible headache has went away, I find that reading the good book helps on the occasion when I have one.
Have I told you lately what a joy it is know you, what a lovely lady you are? The grace in which you carry your self is a thing of beauty. Your charm and elegance are unparalleled.You have the wisdom of some one twice your age, and the vigor of a high school girl. I am so looking forward to you coming to Freehold next week, the time seems to drag on forever, seconds feel like days.

Waiting patiently James

[Brother Harold Porter]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

My dear sweet Phebe, I do hope all is well with you today. I hope that your terrible headache has went away, I find that reading the good book helps on the occasion when I have one.
Have I told you lately what a joy it is know you, what a lovely lady you are? The grace in which you carry your self is a thing of beauty. Your charm and elegance are unparalleled.You have the wisdom of some one twice your age, and the vigor of a high school girl. I am so looking forward to you coming to Freehold next week, the time seems to drag on forever, seconds feel like days.

Waiting patiently James

You see Sister?

Twenty minutes ago, Brother James was foaming at the mouth with rage toward women in general and now he's a casanova? All his sweet talk now...

When the marriage fails next month, I'll still be here sweetheart!

Yours in Christ!

[Warner S. Davidson]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

Bless you Brother Warner,

You know my cousin Emily Beth is still available:

As you can she, her face radiates righteousness (to the extent that a woman can be righteous)and a solid walk with Jesus! She has, over the years, had issues with self-esteem, but none of us know why. Praise Jesus, after some counseling, she now walks with a confident stride and is as happy as can be in her womanhood and charm.

I wouldn't trust just any Christian with my dear cousin, but with you I would. Say the word, and we will arrange her travel to meet you. She is so excited, her bags are already packed! The eight children will be with her brother until after the wedding, but they too cannot wait to meet their new Daddy!

This lady will give you all you could ever want! At 32, another 8 children is no problem. She knows her place in the Christian home, loves to quote from Judges and desperately needs a man to share her walk with Christ! She treasures private time snuggling and is very affectionate!

May Christ be with you both!

Brother Rubicon

Whilst the opportunity of meeting Sister Emily Beth is both a generous and exciting proposition on the part of yourself I will regretfully pass on this occasion

Apart from the obvious challenges including the logistics of a long distance relationship down here in Australia there are NUMEROUS and valid reasons that I should not rush into another relationship no matter how tempting it appears

Principally with my ongoing quest to please Jesus and to reverse the many wrongs on my previous wicked ways I feel that in the interim that I must focus all my energies into becoming a True Christian™ without risk of distraction.

BTW - I am quite surprised to hear that Sister Emily Beth has self esteem issues as it is very apparent that she is very much an 'individual'

So thank you Brother and I am sure that Sister Emily Beth will not be single for very long as she is quite a errr……………….catch

[James Dewitt]

Originally Posted by Rubicon

You see Sister?

Twenty minutes ago, Brother James was foaming at the mouth with rage toward women in general and now he's a casanova? All his sweet talk now...

When the marriage fails next month, I'll still be here sweetheart!

Yours in Christ!

Son that's not rage. Have you ever broken your big toe?
Every time you take a step its painful. Every time you remind me of that no good slut whore its painful to my heart. Rage is when I caught up with the two nigras.... never mind nothing happened, nothing at all.

[James Dewitt]

see anything that catches your eye Mrs Phebe?

[handmaiden]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

see anything that catches your eye Mrs Phebe?

Now, now, Brother Dewitt, a True Christian lady has no need for such baubles, as her treasure is laid up in Heaven.

My engagement ring, which I designed myself, had a small gold cross on a heart of mother of pearl. At the crux of the cross was a very small diamond. The ring barely set my then fiance back a week's lunch money.

I designed it thus to show the world of my disdain for material goods. It was my one and only chance to get a rock on my finger and I blew it-- er, I mean, I gave up my desire for vanity over to the Lord.

During our 14 year marriage, the most expensive piece of jewelry my husband gave me was a string of second rate pearls. He also sold my car to buy me a new washer-dryer so I wouldn't have to lug the laundry to a laundromat. (Which would have been hard to do without a car.)

He was a good, Godly husband, and my leaving him had nothing to do with a lack of bling in my life. It was the presence of books, specifically the wrong kind of books.

You know, come to think of it--getting lost in the interior sparkle of a huge diamond might be just the distraction needed to keep a foolish female from picking up a subversive tome.

Go for it, Brother! Get the biggest hunk of compressed carbon that God ever squeezed out! (Where does God squeeze it out from, I wonder?)

Encouragingly Yours,

Handmaiden