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Angry Christian Venting Tales. - 11-14-2006, 04:58 AM

I am intrested in hearing people's everyday irritance with the heathen world, because I have a nasty that that makes my blood boil:


It all happened yesterday, I was sitting on a park bench reading a very intresting Christian newletter. After that good read I felt overcome by God's gift of warmth from the sun and soon I was sleeping faster than Grandma on a sunday afternoon.

Suddenly I hear a shrilling cackle and I wake up to discover an elderly niggra hag run off with my reading glasses. Oviously she hadn't the welfare check to afford her own. Needless to say, untill I receive a new pair from my eye doctor, I will be making awful sphellling arrers!

A very irritated and far-sighted Mr. Green
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Default Re: Christian Venting Tales. - 11-14-2006, 05:21 AM

Pot-Luck Venting:

1. Heathens will use carrot peelings as the main ingredient to a dish called Carrot Rasin Salad. Carrot peelings belong in the kitchen trash can! And NO, I don't care if you put crushed pineapple in it (you know who you are), it still belongs in a hog trough. If anybody plans to bring Carrot Rasin Salad to our Thanksgiving potluck, don't bother to put it in a Tupperware bowl, because it's going right out to the dumpster!

2. Heathens will return to the food table with a used plate (I shudder!) and might even use a licked-clean utensil to serve themselves with. Also, many of these folks will make a big display of adding large quantities of salt and pepper to a dish that was prepared by one of the ladies of Landover as if her cooking isn't good enough.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: Christian Venting Tales. - 11-14-2006, 08:09 AM

Oh, that's nothing! I once saw someone dip a frito into the onion dip, take a bite and dip the same chip again.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Christian Venting Tales. - 11-14-2006, 01:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Oh, that's nothing! I once saw someone dip a frito into the onion dip, take a bite and dip the same chip again.
Pastor Pistle, you beat me to it again. I just hate those double-dippers.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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