The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
06-03-2010, 07:40 PM
Brother Nobar pointed me to this article: University Park man slain after dog urinates on lawn.
I think it is totally outrageous that this man gets into trouble for killing the owner of an annoying dog that should not have been alive in the first place. Just after reading this I immediately shot one of Mrs. Johnson's dogs to make sure Jesus has a smile on his face again.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
06-03-2010, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I immediately shot one of Mrs. Johnson's dogs to make sure Jesus has a smile on his face again.
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You know she'll just get another one.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
06-03-2010, 07:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
You know she'll just get another one.
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Good point, I just shot another one to make up for that.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-02-2010, 12:33 PM
No matter how many for sale signs I put in the lawn of Mrs. Johnson, she keeps removing them. So I thought it was time for a new approach. I got some timer delayed pressure sensitive landmines from Free Market Fred. So this time I didn't just put up the for sale sign, but I also surrounded the sign with the landmines.
Unfortunately Mrs. Johnson seems to have an almost unlimited supply of dogs. She just kept sending dogs to the sign until all landmines exploded and then removed the sign. I suppose the only upside to this is there will be less barking from now on.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-02-2010, 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
No matter how many for sale signs I put in the lawn of Mrs. Johnson, she keeps removing them. So I thought it was time for a new approach. I got some timer delayed pressure sensitive landmines from Free Market Fred. So this time I didn't just put up the for sale sign, but I also surrounded the sign with the landmines.
Unfortunately Mrs. Johnson seems to have an almost unlimited supply of dogs. She just kept sending dogs to the sign until all landmines exploded and then removed the sign. I suppose the only upside to this is there will be less barking from now on.
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What ever you do, DO NOT attempt to stone her car, she had me tossed in jail for it. I wonder if a camouflaged bear pit might work. If she falls in to it, fill in the pit.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-02-2010, 10:23 PM
I tried to trap her several times already, but somehow she always seems to avoid the traps. Mostly by sending one of her dogs into it.
She is amazingly resilient. When her house burned down after the Alfred King BBQ it only took her a few weeks to get it rebuild again. Somehow almost everyone (Alfred King did nothing of course) who attended the BBQ helped rebuilding her house.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-02-2010, 11:49 PM
I was going to offer to lend you a rottweiler to deal with your problem, but after what you said to Seth.....
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-03-2010, 03:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
I was going to offer to lend you a rottweiler to deal with your problem, but after what you said to Seth.....
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I am sorry, I never realized dogs could be a solid investment. I am quite sure Mrs. Johnsons dogs are worth absolutely nothing though.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-04-2010, 08:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I am sorry, I never realized dogs could be a solid investment. I am quite sure Mrs. Johnsons dogs are worth absolutely nothing though.
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Well I do have a couple that I could loan you that are a tad aggressive towards smaller dogs. Would it help?
I don't want them blown up or shot though
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-04-2010, 10:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Well I do have a couple that I could loan you that are a tad aggressive towards smaller dogs. Would it help? I don't want them blown up or shot though
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Since shooting them doesn't seem to help much, I think I would want to give that a try. I already deactivated the remote controlled intelligent beartraps I got from Free Market Fred. I can not guarantee your dogs will survive though, Mrs. Johnson might do something to them. I will PM you some pictures of her dogs so you can determine what type they are.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-04-2010, 12:35 PM
COM, I have not suggested this before, its rather extreme. I will make a call to some friends of mine in New York and have them come and have a chat with old lady Johnson, Guido and the boys can be very persuasive.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-04-2010, 01:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
COM, I have not suggested this before, its rather extreme. I will make a call to some friends of mine in New York and have them come and have a chat with old lady Johnson, Guido and the boys can be very persuasive.
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I am going to give the dogs a try first and if that doesn't work your friendly friend certainly sounds interesting.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-05-2010, 12:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I am going to give the dogs a try first and if that doesn't work your friendly friend certainly sounds interesting.
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The boys are being shipped tomorrow, if she does anything to them, she'll have me to deal with.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-05-2010, 11:48 AM
Thank you, I am very curious how this is going to work out. My wife already ordered the dog food you recommended. Do they really eat that much?
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-05-2010, 12:00 PM
COM, I got a call from the Chicago chapter of Guido INC. If the dogs dont work out, they will drive over and explain to the old bat just why she should move. When I moved here the farmer that I purchased my land from told me that it was not for sale, and as you can see he changed his mind.
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-05-2010, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
COM, I got a call from the Chicago chapter of Guido INC. If the dogs dont work out, they will drive over and explain to the old bat just why she should move. When I moved here the farmer that I purchased my land from told me that it was not for sale, and as you can see he changed his mind.
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Is that the guy sitting in the pickup giving the workers on our lot the finger?
I'm picking up the boys at 7:00 tonight, I had the two sent down that are considered "dog agressive". They had to be muzzled and drugged for transport, so they probably won't be much use until tomorrow.
Don't worry, they are well trained and if they show any aggression they have the magic "down" word (I'll tell you when I drop them off).
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-06-2010, 09:10 PM
So how are the boys working out for you?
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-06-2010, 09:37 PM
They take a little getting used to, but I am sure the finger one of my grandsons lost will grow back. They are obviously very well trained, they obey the commands I give them flawlessly.
They are amazingly effective though, I am not sure what it is exactly but I haven't seen one of Mrs. Johnson's dogs since I let them out. I put a new for sale sign in front of her house and put the dogs with some food close to it now.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-06-2010, 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Is that the guy sitting in the pickup giving the workers on our lot the finger?
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Yes that's him, he is not a happy camper. Just because the land was in his family for 150 years does not mean that he should won it for ever. Last week I purchased the deed to the last 250 acres of his land from the bank. I believe he got the foreclosure papers Monday morning. I always wanted a 18 hole golf course, I hate to wait in lines
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
07-07-2010, 01:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
They take a little getting used to, but I am sure the finger one of my grandsons lost will grow back. They are obviously very well trained, they obey the commands I give them flawlessly.
They are amazingly effective though, I am not sure what it is exactly but I haven't seen one of Mrs. Johnson's dogs since I let them out. I put a new for sale sign in front of her house and put the dogs with some food close to it now.
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Please make sure to not over feed them, they tend get loggy if they're fed too much. Also, I guess I don't think of 3 cups of food a day as much. During their teenage growth spurt they can get up to 8 cups a day! Oh, and sorry the food is so expensive, only the best for the best I always say.
I wonder how Mrs. Johnston is dealing with the little rats having to go. It cannot be pleasant inside her home right now. Did your grandson stick his finger into the kennel? I'm sorry, I should of mentioned when they're in their kennel they are to be left alone as that's their space and their down time.
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