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Reload this Page I'm looking for a good Christian woman
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-06-2007, 02:54 PM
Does this topic still concern me finding a good, True Christian woman? It seems that the topic has changed.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-06-2007, 03:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
Does this topic still concern me finding a good, True Christian woman? It seems that the topic has changed.
There you go, young man, showing us how little you actually trust in the Lord our God. Is it not written (Hebrews 13:8):

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

The same goes for this thread. I think you'd better get yourself on your knees before the Lord before you worry too much about any displays of faith before the ladies.

Oh, and the same goes for that young trollop you sent us the picture of a while back. I seem to have misplaced her contact information. How can we get in touch with her to offer her the personal discipling that you, yourself, will thank us for later?

Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
There you go, young man, showing us how little you actually trust in the Lord our God. Is it not written (Hebrews 13:8):

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

The same goes for this thread. I think you'd better get yourself on your knees before the Lord before you worry too much about any displays of faith before the ladies.

Oh, and the same goes for that young trollop you sent us the picture of a while back. I seem to have misplaced her contact information. How can we get in touch with her to offer her the personal discipling that you, yourself, will thank us for later?
Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 02:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.

You presume to correct a Godly True Christian of Landover? I prescribe 5 hours in your prayer closet after whatever the pastors decide to do with you.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 04:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.
"Is it not written" is a QUESTION, not a statement!
You seem to believe it says "It is not written" but it doesn't.. Read it again.

See, this is what happens when you try to correct a True Christian, you make a fool of yourself.
As always, we aren't wrong, it's the unsaved who are. You just fail to realize.
You were making good progress, Daniel.. Don't let the devil make you stumble now!
Get on your knees and pray God will forgive you!

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 03-07-2007 at 04:18 PM.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 11:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
"Is it not written" is a QUESTION, not a statement!
You seem to believe it says "It is not written" but it doesn't.. Read it again.

See, this is what happens when you try to correct a True Christian, you make a fool of yourself.
As always, we aren't wrong, it's the unsaved who are. You just fail to realize.
You were making good progress, Daniel.. Don't let the devil make you stumble now!
Get on your knees and pray God will forgive you!
By all means, I'm sure Little Boy here would jump at the chance to fall to his knees and be showered in jesus' golden love.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 11:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
By all means, I'm sure Little Boy here would jump at the chance to fall to his knees and be showered in jesus' golden love.
Just as we True Christians™ have been attempting to get YOU to do all these long years. One day Jesus will enter your heart, VanJellobrain, and on that day the entire congregation shall enjoy watching Jesus spray His golden love shower upon your face. Glory!!

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-07-2007, 11:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Just as we True Christians™ have been attempting to get YOU to do all these long years. One day Jesus will enter your heart, VanJellobrain, and on that day the entire congregation shall enjoy watching Jesus spray His golden love shower upon your face. Glory!!

*Regains composure*
I'm quite confident that won't be happening, my dear Zeke.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 03-07-2007 at 11:35 PM.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 01:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel View Post
Notice the word "not" in red letters. That scripture is in fact written in Hebrews 13:8.
OK, you're young and uneducated. Which is a deadly combination when reproduction (or Bible study with the sisters, whatever you want to call it) lays it's wolverine-like grip into a male's brain. If you, Daniel, expect to fellowship with the holy family of Landover Baptist Church, we need to see your notarized abstinence pledge TOMORROW. Do you understand?

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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 01:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post

*Regains composure*
I'm quite confident that won't be happening, my dear Zeke.
Apparently, VanHaggard is afraid she'd explode if exposed to Jesus' love.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 02:30 AM
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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Apparently, VanHaggard is afraid she'd explode if exposed to Jesus' love.
Which is approximately my concern with Daniel.

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Apparently, VanHaggard is afraid she'd explode if exposed to Jesus' love.
No, I was trying not to vomit at the idea of being exposed to said......love....


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 03-08-2007 at 03:05 AM.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 03:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
No, I was trying not to vomit at the idea of being exposed to said......love....
Perhaps you'd appreciate it better if you spelled it "lurve"?

As in
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 04:35 AM
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Which is approximately my concern with Daniel.
I share your concern, Brother Lee.

It is obvious that both VanWidebottom and Daniel suffer from the same neglect: They weren't beaten nearly often enough as children, hence their predisposition to smart-alecky back-talk.

While the witch Vantubolard is probably beyond help, Daniel is certainly worth our efforts at reclamation for Christ. Perhaps a few sessions with Brother BJ and that "mens circle" group he has going would help get Daniel back on the straight and narrow, rock hard and throbbing path to Salvation©.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-08-2007, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Daniel is certainly worth our efforts at reclamation for Christ. Perhaps a few sessions with Brother BJ and that "mens circle" group he has going would help get Daniel back on the straight and narrow, rock hard and throbbing path to Salvation©.
Excellent suggestion, Brother. I think some compulsory service in the BJ Security Detail would keep Daniel occupied -- And put an end to his lascivious snuffing about the Sisters' Bible Studies.

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Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-09-2007, 03:00 PM
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Excellent suggestion, Brother. I think some compulsory service in the BJ Security Detail would keep Daniel occupied -- And put an end to his lascivious snuffing about the Sisters' Bible Studies.
I'd be more than happy to volunteer. P.S. You're right. My father didn't beat me often enough. It's time to make up for that.
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Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.Daniel is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-27-2007, 01:43 PM
I noticed that there wasn't much activity on this thread. I'm still single and I'm available this Friday night.
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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 03-27-2007, 04:13 PM
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I noticed that there wasn't much activity on this thread. I'm still single and I'm available this Friday night.
EXCELLENT. This Friday we're cleaning out the basement of Fellowship Hall -- from the flooding and sewage problem. You can man the shovel.

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Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 04-04-2007, 12:25 PM
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I noticed that there wasn't much activity on this thread. I'm still single and I'm available this Friday night.
Due to your recent falling away from Jesus, I doubt you'll find a good Christian woman now. Unless you plan on getting back on that narrow path, you might as well start taking a look at the assorted witches who infest this forum as only unSaved harlots would even consider an unSaved man.

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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: I'm looking for a good Christian woman - 04-04-2007, 11:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Due to your recent falling away from Jesus, I doubt you'll find a good Christian woman now. Unless you plan on getting back on that narrow path, you might as well start taking a look at the assorted witches who infest this forum as only unSaved harlots would even consider an unSaved man.
Oh, was he narrowpathy's boyfriend? Hmm, well, that makes sense, although I was sure that narrowpathy's undying devotion was to his mattress.
Or maybe little boy and narrowpathy both shared Mrs Sealy-A-Narrowpathy?


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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