General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-20-2018, 04:24 PM
It's no question to me that you True Christians are indeed the ones who will be saved because of how well you follow The Bible. It's my hope that I may one day ascertain that as I continue my journey to being saved as a former faggot. I do have a few questions that I am sure a lot of unsaved trash are just dying to ask you all. I have gone ahead and compiled a fun list of questions. Feel free to add any tidbits of True Christians as you please but make sure they are indeed factual and not made up lies by garbage.
Do True Christian women even fart or poop?
How many young boys has Pastor Ezekiel Flint saved from the Philippines?
Does pork butchered by True Christians taste sweeter?
How heavenly is Pastor Ezekiel's voice when he gives his sermons?
A personal question for Miss Etheldreda. Is it true that God gives Mr Etheldreda the strength to bench press 600?
What do your Bibles look like?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 454
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Rockford, IL
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-20-2018, 04:48 PM
Of course someone who bites toilets would have free time to think about stuff like this.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-20-2018, 06:24 PM
Yes, they do 'frap' and during Church services too boot!
It does not 'smell like Roses' it smells like the Devil. We all know who it is doing too, sitting there all prim and proper in the Platinum Tithers™ section. She queefs and then looks about to visually place the blame. Only to be met with the piercing stare of Pastor Ezekiel Flint. In his 'live and let live' Love of His Flock© no matter the misery the Platinum Tithers™ expel, He always forgives. Though I have to say, it is not easy for me to do when I am sitting right behind them (you know, who you are!)
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-20-2018, 07:11 PM
Mr. Buck, please refrain from metaphorically sniffing about the hindquarters of True Christian™ womenfolk.
If you read the Bible with the same degree of eager curiousity that you evince for asking unseemly questions, you will note that Jesus did not bother to concern Himself with such matters.
Did Christ ask such impertinent questions of the woman at the well? He knew that she had been shacking up with some guy after outliving five husbands.* For that reason, she recognized Him as a prophet. The kind of questions you pose would have made her think He was a pervert.
In the tenth verse of the eighth chapter of the Gospel of John, after the scribes and Pharisees have left Jesus alone with the woman caught in adultery, does Jesus look up from His writing to ask, "Did you fart? Is that why they all left?"
Finally, the fact that you have to ask all sorts of odd questions about the basic biological functions of women, nevermind women of True Christian™ status, causes me to question why your dealings with them have been so limited.
Work on reading your Bible for the answers you seek. Then, begin a passionate personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He will direct your inquiries in a more appropriate inclination.
*John 4:4-26
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-20-2018, 07:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Mr. Buck, please refrain from metaphorically sniffing about the hindquarters of True Christian™ womenfolk.
If you read the Bible with the same degree of eager curiousity that you evince for asking unseemly questions, you will note that Jesus did not bother to concern Himself with such matters.
Did Christ ask such impertinent questions of the woman at the well? He knew that she had been shacking up with some guy after outliving five husbands.* For that reason, she recognized Him as a prophet. The kind of questions you pose would have made her think He was a pervert.
In the tenth verse of the eighth chapter of the Gospel of John, after the scribes and Pharisees have left Jesus alone with the woman caught in adultery, does Jesus look up from His writing to ask, "Did you fart? Is that why they all left?"
Finally, the fact that you have to ask all sorts of odd questions about the basic biological functions of women, nevermind women of True Christian™ status, causes me to question why your dealings with them have been so limited.
Work on reading your Bible for the answers you seek. Then, begin a passionate personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He will direct your inquiries in a more appropriate inclination.
*John 4:4-26
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It reminds me of this young clean cut Christians, out on a double date to ensure Purity®. If the people in the back seat know about it, you know God does.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-21-2018, 04:13 PM
Miss HandMaiden I understand your concern about me and allow me to tell you why I am limited in the knowledge of female anatomy. As a former faggot, I used to fantasize about phallic shaped objects in my mouth whenever I'd eat a banana. I used to never question Elton John's music. I'm only ten years fag free.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-21-2018, 05:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Miss HandMaiden I understand your concern about me and allow me to tell you why I am limited in the knowledge of female anatomy. As a former faggot, I used to fantasize about phallic shaped objects in my mouth whenever I'd eat a banana. I used to never question Elton John's music. I'm only ten years fag free.
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Congratulations on completeing a decade as a nearly decent person, Mr. Buck.
However, the opposite of "fag free" is not "female flatulence fixated".
Aspire higher, Mr. Buck
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: Do True Christian women fart? Also other questions! -
03-21-2018, 06:32 PM
To answer your questions: - Do True Christian women even fart or poop?
Yes, they are going to Heaven, but still women. Something we have to remember them sometimes.
- How many young boys has Pastor Ezekiel Flint saved from the Philippines?
Neither your business, nor FBI's business.
- Does pork butchered by True Christians taste sweeter?
No.
- How heavenly is Pastor Ezekiel's voice when he gives his sermons?
A question I cannot answer, as a spic I am not allowed near Freehold
- A personal question for Miss Etheldreda. Is it true that God gives Mr Etheldreda the strength to bench press 600?
I don't think this deserves an answer
- What do your Bibles look like?
It is a KJV, and looks old form all the use it has.
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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